I waited until I was married to have sex. I loved him, for better or worse for 10 years. He was terrible in bed. He hurt me. If I tried to give him suggestions in bed, he’d get mad and it would end in a fight. Sex always became a source of tension. I didn’t know any better and thought this is what sex was.
After a decade of fighting, we planned a divorce, I started seeing someone else and had sex with a stranger for the first time. It was earth-shatteringly good. Exactly what I imagined sex would be like and more.
But I reconciled with my husband because I realized I loved him. Problem is, he is still terrible in bed and I don’t know what to do now that I know it’s him, and not sex in general. I love him, he’s a great father to my kids, but sex is important. Do I destroy it all for good sex? Live without sex? Cheat? Help me!
LemonVibe 
I don’t think you do love your husband and he doesn’t care as much for you as you think he does. He would care more about your needs in the bed otherwise instead of being defensive and hurting you. You like the comfort of knowing and are scared of being alone. You are scared of reaching out to find someone who can be it all for you. As long as you are in this relationship nothing will change. You will still feel left out and resentful since he’s not going to put in the effort.