“I love him but I can’t trust him”

I have been married to my husband for almost 6 years. We got together when he was still in the military. He was my first everything and I love him with all my heart. However, as much as I love him I can’t trust him. I have caught him over several occasions talking inappropriately to other girls on phone and going on Craigslist look at personals. I don’t think he has done anything physical because I am constantly with him and I always know where he is. He constantly tells me how much he loves and how happy he is with me and I want to believe him because he has done so much for me.

In the past two years he has supported me so I could go to school full time so I could finally finish my degree. I have put my education on hold when he was evacuated from overseas and experiencing medical conditions. Anyway I graduate in May but there are times where he holds it over my head saying that he has paid for my education. In reality I took out loans in my own name.

He made it so I didn’t have to work which I am more appreciative for than he will ever know. I try to show this to him by doing things to help him: I pack his lunch everyday, I put out his badge and wallet and keys on the table so he can easily find it when he gets to work, I wait on him hand and foot when he comes home from work because he can’t get his own drink from the fridge. I do all the cooking and cleaning around the house and do other errands that he asks.

I am also the one who takes care of both our dogs when he is the one that wanted them. Don’t get me wrong, I love my dogs and they help keep me calm some days. Back to the issue of my trust with him. Due to my trust issues, I constantly have the impulse to check his phone due to I find him being secretive. I have seen him message girls asking for pictures, sending kissy faces.

When I confront him he does one of two things, he explodes where he says everything imaginable to hurt me including putting down my family, and he lashes out and hits me. I have gotten to a point where I’m scared to talk to him if I have a concern.

Or he will deny what I saw in his phone and make it sound like I am making it up. Nothing is ever his fault and things just appears on his phone. Through all this I still love him and he constantly telling me how much he loves me and supports me. He buys me random things to surprise me. I just don’t understand why he would do all those things if he loves me.

I don’t know what to do because he has been all I have known 6 years. We do everything together and until I graduate I have no income. Not that I know much about finances, because my husband has always taken care of everything. I’m just so confused and there are days where I just break down and cry, wondering what I have done wrong.

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2 thoughts on ““I love him but I can’t trust him”

  1. acci0story says:

    Its not because he’s the only thing you’ve know in y years that its the best. Now youll have a degree. Please think for you. Someone like that doesnt deserve all the things you do. And you’re married so you own half of everything. Please leave. Be happy. Enjoy life. Stop caring about a mean man

  2. Anonymous says:

    Get the dogs and get out. Since he’s both mentally and physically abusing you don’t be alone with him when you leave. You might even want to do it while he’s not there. Go home to your parents and let them know what’s happening. Things will not get better and he’s only going to tell you what you want to hear to keep you dangling on his string while he gets to play. What you are dealing with is a psychopathic narcissist. He honestly only cares about you when it has to do with HIM.

    A man who loves you doesn’t do these things and never would. You deserve better.

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