“He’s an alcoholic and I feel like his mother”

My boyfriend is a depressed, functioning, alcoholic.

We’ve been dating for a year and a half, at about 6 months into our relationship I found out about his drinking & progressively after that more and more was revealed. He drinks alone when his depression gets heavy (1-2 times per month). He’s never violent or angry, just emotional and the drinking upsets him more. He does tend to call me in the middle of the night as he is wandering drunk around NYC at 3am and begs me to let him stay over (I oblige because I worry).

He lost his job (not because of alcohol) but it’s factored into his depression. He doesn’t seem interested in working again but he is going to therapy (on my insurance).

I don’t want to leave him but I feel like I’ve had to put my life on hold to take care of him (emotionally and financially). I’m starting to feel more like a mother than a girlfriend. I’m in my early 30s, never married, and want a future with him, but it seems like he’ll never get to a place to think about the future. Everything is just dealing with him right now.

I don’t know what to do.

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