Category: Advice Needed

“My partner is closeted and ignores me in public”

1 Comment

I’ve been going out with a closeted non-binary person for almost 5 months now. This person is female by birth, but identifies as non-binary, so I’ll use “they” to refer to them. I’m a closeted trans guy, meaning that I’m female by birth, but identify as male.

Since we’re both closeted, we’re viewed as a lesbian couple. I’m okay with this, because we’re not very public with affection and everything, so it doesn’t matter. We’re not having any troubles technically, and I am utterly in love with them and want it to last forever.

The problem is, I’ve been out as “gay” for longer than they have, and I am much more comfortable about being open. This means that they will only talk to me before and after school in the library, when there aren’t many people around. Also, when they see me around school (we’re in different year groups), they just give me a small tight smile and don’t say anything. Continue reading →

“I got engaged and now I don’t want to kiss him”

2 Comments

In late August I got engaged to my boyfriend of a year and a half. He is twelve years older than me. I’m 25 and he is 37. He is kind, loving, funny and hard-working. Honestly, everything was great until we got engaged. I don’t know why but everything changed for me then.

On the day he proposed, he’d done it when I was struggling to stay afloat in a new job and without my family there. He knew I’d always wanted my family there. I also cried a lot that night before it happened because I was so unhappy with my job. I said yes because I loved him. I’d told him before that if he’d ask I’d say yes. It was a tough night and I don’t remember it with joy. Continue reading →

“My man is always at someone else’s house”

1 Comment

Me and my man have had some problems in the past. When we first got together he was still seeing his ex behind my back. When I found out I broke up with him for a while. When I found out I was pregnant is when I gave him another chance.

Since then he really has changed. Other than I found out that he stopped by his ex’s house, not to see her, but to talk to her roommate who is a much older lady who he likes to gamble with. Even though he does spend most of his free time with me, it still bothers me. Also, just yesterday his ex’s roommate ‘Alice’ was at the corner store by our house. He says hello to her and she asks where he’s coming from? Instead of him saying from my girls house he says from down the street. Then she says to go by the house later… and he said okay. Then she asked him again ‘are you going to stop by the house’, and  he replied again ‘yea later on.’ Now he says that I’m over reacting and he just told her he would, but he is not going to. Now I want to know, am I over reacting?

“My husband doesn’t want to have sex with me”

3 Comments

My husband of two years doesn’t want to have sex with me. I’m a fairly attractive individual, and my husband has NO interest in sex at all. He watches porn all the time, but since he has touched me, it’s been around six months.

And before that, it was another four. We have had sex three times in the span of a year. He says it’s because he has gained weight (70 pounds) and he is ashamed of himself. His attitude towards me is still the same. He still jokes with me, and he’s still my best friend. I just don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. I’ve tried coming onto him, wearing lingerie, buying toys, asking him if he wants to invite anyone else in… but nothing works. He doesn’t want anything to do with it. He is only 30, and should still have a healthy sex drive. Please help.

“I’m torn between this girl and all my friends”

2 Comments

I have a new girlfriend, we have been dating for about a month. but some of my friends demand that I break up with her, or else I will lose theirs and many others, respect. Why?

One night, a bunch of friends gathered at the beach, late in the night. I was busy the following day so I didn’t go. This gathering lasted from about 12 to 4pm. My girlfriend secretly took her dad’s car to drive to the beach. She has no licence, and not much experience (we’re both 16.) Once the night was over, many of her girlfriends got drunk, I’m not sure if she was drinking or not. She had to drive her friends back home, probably just to her house. One of her friends told one of my friends about the night, and described how she got home and the way my girlfriend was driving. She wasn’t angry at her, she said she found it fun and it was crazy. She was driving unlicensed, she ran several red lights and was driving on the wrong side of the road supposedly. Continue reading →

“Both me and my married brother like a girl”

3 Comments

So… I’m in my mid-twenties and have never been in love. I have had crushes and whatnot, but often move on quickly enough. I’ve also had people confess affection for me, though in a cruel twist this tends to put me off…

However, I’ve been friends with someone for the past few years, and I think I might be starting to fall for them. I’m no expert, but I think there’s been some flirtation and hidden signals, and I notice quite a lot of glances coming my way when I’m not looking. Though there’s a good chance I’m reading into things too much… Continue reading →

“Could he be repressing gay feelings?”

1 Comment

I have a close friend who is exhibiting very strange behaviour. He is a 31 year-old unemployed virgin and a practicing 7th day Adventist. He lives in a big city and myself and 2 friends took him under our wing when we met through work but he lost his job a while ago and since then we invite him round several times a week and cook for him, I cut his hair for free and we help him apply for jobs and message women on dating sites and apps.

The problems started in the Whatsapp group that all 4 of us friends are in. The friend in question began to tell elaborate lies, such as that he spent the whole day painting his local church – we phoned all the local churches and none had been painted recently. He regularly tells us elaborate and/or unnecessary lies and seems unable to stop. He also claims to be a vegetarian for his faith but regularly eats kebabs and chicken wings. Continue reading →

“He sounds so clingy and insecure”

2 Comments

I am 23 years old and have started talking to this guy who is 20. We met off a dating website (I know, I know, that’s why I’m second-guessing). We’re both virgins (well, I am for sure — he has told me via text that he is also a virgin — he said that before I told him about me being a virgin). He also said he hasn’t done anything with a girl before. I am also a very independent female who has done a little with a guy, but not the full event.

Anyway, from when we started talking, we have talked every day. He constantly tells me everything — when he’s going to shower, when he’s going to the gym, at the gym, leaving the gym, having a shake or a tea, and when he is having a nap.

Yeah, all the flirting and teasing is all fun, although I’m still second-guessing, as now he tells me he  misses me already” when we don’t talk for a day or something. And he said he had his cousin there, but just wanted him gone, as he felt bad for “putting me on hold,” and asked if he could call me “babe.” Continue reading →

“How do I tell him without him getting the wrong idea?”

1 Comment

I’m a high school student and I’m best friends with this guy who is two years younger than me. We met and started talking in November last year. We chatted everyday and bonded really well. We liked the same things and made jokes together.

Around December he told me that he liked me. At that time I was really scared of telling him that I liked him back so I friend zoned him. He said it was okay and that we would still be friends. My parents told me that I’m only allowed to have a relationship when I’m in college. I totally agree with them but what if I just wanted to let him know that I like him but not have a relationship or anything? How do I tell him without him getting the wrong idea?

“Are we wasting time because it’s never going to work?”

3 Comments

Me and my boyfriend have been together 18 months. I sometimes feel like we’re just too different and we’re wasting time together because we’re working on something that’s never going to work. I love him so much but sometimes I feel that I feel more for him than he does for me and it gets me down a bit.

I try SO hard to make things good with us.  If we argue I’m the only person to fix it, if something’s wrong, I fix it. We live about 3 minutes from each other’s house and I’m at his house everyday but when I ask him to come to my house he never wants to…. I always have to make the effort. He does spoil me a lot but I just feel like a lot of our relationship is one sided. I ask very little of him and I really don’t get much in return of what I ask for him. Continue reading →