“Could he be repressing gay feelings?”

I have a close friend who is exhibiting very strange behaviour. He is a 31 year-old unemployed virgin and a practicing 7th day Adventist. He lives in a big city and myself and 2 friends took him under our wing when we met through work but he lost his job a while ago and since then we invite him round several times a week and cook for him, I cut his hair for free and we help him apply for jobs and message women on dating sites and apps.

The problems started in the Whatsapp group that all 4 of us friends are in. The friend in question began to tell elaborate lies, such as that he spent the whole day painting his local church – we phoned all the local churches and none had been painted recently. He regularly tells us elaborate and/or unnecessary lies and seems unable to stop. He also claims to be a vegetarian for his faith but regularly eats kebabs and chicken wings.

He has begun falling out with us a lot lately, it tends to coincide with going back to his small village to stay with his aging mother and father who are both Adventists. His only friend back home is an 87 year old neighbour. When he went home for Christmas he said he needed a ‘break’ from the friendship and didn’t want to speak to us for precisely 3 weeks. We tried texting him but he flew off the handle, we have no idea what is causing his strange behaviour.

We’re pretty much his only friends in the world and regularly give him clothes, food, haircuts, lifts. Should we let the friendship dissolve or keep pursuing him to find out what’s wrong? He’s homophobic and one of us once pretending to have gay dreams for a joke and he went ballistic. Could he be repressing gay feelings? He’s never had a girlfriend.

One thought on ““Could he be repressing gay feelings?”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Could be embarrassed for having to use you for so much.

    He doesn’t want your help right now though. I would back off now. Calling around to churches is definitely going overboard and stalking. It doesn’t matter if he is a closet gay and he doesn’t owe you a explanation on his sexuality.

    Either way you seem like you care about him a lot and I wish you the best. If he reaches out to you then the ball is in your court to help him then, but don’t over reach and interfere any more unless he specifically asks.

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