Hello everyone, my first blurb. Really enjoying the site and the advice sounds really genuine.

To make a long story short, I’ve been single for a long time, almost 10 years since my divorce. My ex is on his second long term relationship already, both from an on line dating site. This time, he was even on the same site as me ( my kids told me) and within 2 months, he’s taking the kids to meet her already.

I’ve had a much harder time, varying from few responses, to a few short emails and then they disappear or men that are just interested in hooking. Now I know I am probably not doing the right things, I never dated much when I was younger, but ouch, it hurts to see that my ex barely spent much time on his own. I don’t regret leaving the marriage, I just didn’t want to spend the rest of my life alone and have to watch him have such an easy time. I know, sour grapes but hey, it’s been a bit of a low time.

thoughts?

I dated this amazing man who I felt very much in love with for about three years. Unfortunately it didn’t work out, and he even moved to another state for work six moths after we broke up. The move broke my heart and I realized it was time to really move forward. Before he left he said all his I love you and I’ll be back BS. At this point I’m really convinced he’s gone for good, so no weird hopes, communication or romanticizing going on here. Now, six months forward he tells me he’s on OKC looking for ‘the one’. I, of course did the unthinkable and searched the site until I found him, and there he is, using a picture of us as his profile. I really want to like this and be flattered, but instead I’m livid. I mean, seriously! wtf?! He left, he broke my heart and is now using our photos as bait? This may be just steaming, but I’m so tempted to tell him to
take them down. It feels inappropriate, he’s no longer part of my life and what we had it’s in the past. Advice? What to do? Men can
be insensible, but this is on the jerk side.

So I’ve met this guy – quite randomly yet we exchanged numbers and went on a first date… which was three weeks ago. He said that he wanted to see me again and texted me afterwards to say that he had a great night. I replied the next day to say that I had a good time as well and that we should do it again. However, since then we’ve both been busy and we haven’t been able to catch up again, plus we’re both awkward texters so its been difficult to keep the momentum going. Should I try one more time to see him or just cut it loose?

I read an article the other day about a Russian basketball player who’s wife allows him to cheat on her once per year. I get that there is temptation – even more so when you are in the spotlight (there’s nothing like an athlete or a celebrity to make you toss your panties) – but, really? Once per year? Her reasoning was that if something is forbidden, it makes you want to do it that much more. Yes, I get it – but isn’t that a slippery slope? Say he uses his hall pass in March. At that point, he has 8 months where he’s technically not allowed to cheat. So, now, since he cheated already this year, he won’t do it again? I kind of feel like that’s the equivalent of giving a baby 1 lick of a sucker then taking it away. For a year. That’s going to be a baby who is constantly thinking about wanting another lick, right? How is that helpful in keeping a solid relationship? Or am I missing the point?

I will be a high school junior in the fall of this coming school year. During my sophomore year, I was under immense stress dealing with the loss of my mother during my freshman year & furthermore having a part time job that became more of a full time job during the holiday season. Needless to say, school was no longer a priority of mine during freshman or sophomore year. During my freshman year, I failed algebra & during sophomore I failed geometry and u.s. history. I’ve wanted to be a school teacher my whole life. If I work my hardest and achieve good grades the next two years, will a college accept me? I’m looking for some reassurance I’ve been encountering sleepless nights.

Despite hiding my pain…

it’s been nearly 5 months since my first love left me and I’m still in so much pain over losing her. I’m mad at myself for not being able to let this all go, and at her for treating my love for her like it’s nothing, and moving on to another guy AND TELLING ME ABOUT IT, as if she’s directly spitting in my face. I told her I had forgiven her, but, I was so hurt, I just told her to never speak to me again for a while, I had her block me off completely last week. I am proud of myself for this and the fact I live for myself now more than ever…but I still feel so much pain inside I rarely express. But I still have to see my exes siblings at the MA school I met her, and it hurts me how much I still remember her. Remember all the things we did together, the things we enjoyed so much…

I’ve tried to get back out there, but nothing has worked so far.

So there is this guy I have known since high school we have always had an off and on thing never sleep together but we have kissed and we hang out once and a while movies, get togethers, etc. randomly text each other sometime me first sometime him. He is the one that usually invites me but truth be told once we are there it not like we go in clinging to each other but he is respectful making sure if it is a place I haven’t been or with people I don’t know that he offers to get my drink or doesn’t leave me just standing alone or any thing like that. I guess I just wonder why we have never moved pasted this never been boyfriend/girlfriend we are friends but there are gaps between or hangouts and communications sometimes as long as a few months.

I am 30 years old, and I want to get into a serious relationship. I am 5 10″, skinny, partial balding(but you cannot notice), smart, and surprisingly athletic. I am looking for feedback on why I might not get responses from women. And also why I am getting responses— weird but I like to hear both sides.

SELF-SUMMARY:
Just a fun guy that is currently sporting a mustache and a beard. I laugh at internet memes, smile at babies, and if I could sing— I would sing in the rain—hah.

I am a shy at first, but when I feel comfortable I become extroverted. But to be honest you would never notice this, because I smile at strangers, willing to hold my assertions in meetings, network at conventions, and introduce others to complete strangers — hah.

I have a competitive nature that I am able to keep in control, because I feel that the role of competition is to make the opponent stronger not beat them down. Since I have been on both sides of the coin it is a concept I have learned and appreciated.

Currently, I am working part-time and working at my friend’s start-up. In the up coming future I will be taking night-time classes to help further my writing skills and to attain a better grip over business. Some people would say it is quite interesting that I already have my masters, yet I want to keep going on. However, the truth is that I am just keeping up with the plan I had in my mind back in high school. Yes, I will admit it did change a bit, but I always wanted to further my education beyond a masters.

I chose to transition from full-time to part-time this year, because going at nights and taking classes was exhausting.

I also volunteer to teach Sunday School every week, though I am planning to stop after the summer, because it is little hectic juggling Sunday School, Classes, work, and anything else that comes in the way—hah. I will probably volunteer to do another tasks in church that takes less thought, but still fulfills a purpose. I like to help people, I want things to go smoothly, and frankly I can make it go smoothly if I plan and pray.

I am here on this site because I just want to meet someone special (yeojachingu) on this site. I understand this might take some time, but I up for the journey.

I enjoy going out and talking with friends. I plan everything I do and rarely do spontaneous. Granted, you can plan the spontaneous behavior and make it appear spontaneous, it is still planned.

I cannot wait for summer so I can go to the Mid-Summer dance events at the Lincoln Center.

I enjoy a game of tennis, basketball, ping pong, and swimming. Though I am outside person, I am not against kicking your butt in Nintendo Wii—hah. I have showed some co-workers my skills at employee tournaments.

QUOTES:
I am going to list some quotes from what other people have told me:

“you do not say much…but when you say something it is very impactful…” — best friend from elementary school
“I have to try to make you laugh once a day” — a male friend
“you are pretty fun guy” — a random guy
“I do not think I have to worry about you…you always have everything put together” — a older male friend
“you are pretty slim…” — a friend
“OMG…I thought I was older than you” — a law student in her mid 20s
“you do not look like you are 30” — woman in her early 20s
“you’re skin is so supple” – a woman in her 20s
“…you are soo tall” – a 3yr old

WHAT I AM GOOD AT:

1. [[design]]
2. breaking down concepts
3. understanding mathematical concepts though I am not classically trained to be a mathematician
4. [[legal research]]
5. teaching kids the concepts of the [[bible]]
6. freestyle
7. backstroke
8. reading body language
9. and more to come

FAVORITE STUFF:
still working on it… too many to choose from… I mean I can go on….

Books:
Bible

Media:
I like the show Numb3rs, How I met your mother…

Food & Beverage:
oolong tea, lung ching tea ???, ginger beer, hibiscus tea, [[soursop]]

milk shakes, [bubble tea], mooncake, [[steak with mushrooms]]
lychee, longyan, cheeries, black berries, fish balls, red snapper, fish balls, glass noodles, sugar cane

bok choi, egg noodles, squid, kimichi, and ackee & saltfish…

SPEND A LOT OF TIME THINKING ABOUT:
work, design, papers, love, God, family, meeting someone special (obvious…)

YOU SHOULD MESSAGE ME :
You just want to say hi there, and if you are curious to learn more about me.

Also if the conversation is going great, I see no reason why we can’t meet up within a few days. I’m so used to the offline scene were the dating part is fast, and the courting in the relationship is to be slow, sweet, and special.

If you like someone why should you wait, you are only guaranteed today.

You think you can fit a glass sliper — hah. I am just messing with you.

In the last 3 years following my divorce I have been attempting to online date. My experience in meeting and dating men from these sites have been disheartening and in large part traumatizing. I have made many attempts, on many sites, with many different methods and the result is always the same.

Over time, I have changed and now value having a relationship much less and value my independence more. I do not feel that pursuing a relationship is in my best interest at this time. I have some short bouts of loneliness, but overall I am satisfied and happy with my life.

What has brought me to lemonvibe is that I believe I have somewhat of an addiction to online dating. As a person who has never had an addiction to anything, this is a new situation for me. I have been able to go for longer periods of time without putting up a profile, but eventually something will trigger me and I will put one up.

My first step in dealing with this was to identify some triggers…they include being seriously overworked, having brief work contact with men in my age range, meeting people in relationships or having trouble with relationships (part of my work). One of my worst triggers is that everyone I know either thinks I am dating someone great or that I will “find someone very soon.” Even my best friend who has heard all of my bad dating stories still believes I will “find someone.” I went to a therapist once who was convinced I would find someone, and instead of focusing on the traumatic incident that had just occurred in my life, he wanted to talk about my love life!

I am looking for advice on how to handle the perception in others that everyone will find someone, that we all live in some type of romantic fantasy world! I have become aware of the real truth, that not everybody does find someone. Any advice would be appreciated, as I work on handling these triggers…

if a guy pursued you over four weeks and you were extremely careful to not make any first moves, be very cautious about his interest, and only offered reciprocity to his actions, and he finally makes out with you and there is chemistry – what does it mean when he continues to text you with familiarity or ways to make you smile the weeks after – but doesn’t ask you out again? finally, upon getting together again for a drink he explains that his parents are in bad health and he may not be in town and would like to take things slow. but his actions seem more friendly then romantic? does this mean he lost interest in a matter of a week? how does that happen?