I am 30 years old, and I want to get into a serious relationship. I am 5 10″, skinny, partial balding(but you cannot notice), smart, and surprisingly athletic. I am looking for feedback on why I might not get responses from women. And also why I am getting responses— weird but I like to hear both sides.

SELF-SUMMARY:
Just a fun guy that is currently sporting a mustache and a beard. I laugh at internet memes, smile at babies, and if I could sing— I would sing in the rain—hah.

I am a shy at first, but when I feel comfortable I become extroverted. But to be honest you would never notice this, because I smile at strangers, willing to hold my assertions in meetings, network at conventions, and introduce others to complete strangers — hah.

I have a competitive nature that I am able to keep in control, because I feel that the role of competition is to make the opponent stronger not beat them down. Since I have been on both sides of the coin it is a concept I have learned and appreciated.

Currently, I am working part-time and working at my friend’s start-up. In the up coming future I will be taking night-time classes to help further my writing skills and to attain a better grip over business. Some people would say it is quite interesting that I already have my masters, yet I want to keep going on. However, the truth is that I am just keeping up with the plan I had in my mind back in high school. Yes, I will admit it did change a bit, but I always wanted to further my education beyond a masters.

I chose to transition from full-time to part-time this year, because going at nights and taking classes was exhausting.

I also volunteer to teach Sunday School every week, though I am planning to stop after the summer, because it is little hectic juggling Sunday School, Classes, work, and anything else that comes in the way—hah. I will probably volunteer to do another tasks in church that takes less thought, but still fulfills a purpose. I like to help people, I want things to go smoothly, and frankly I can make it go smoothly if I plan and pray.

I am here on this site because I just want to meet someone special (yeojachingu) on this site. I understand this might take some time, but I up for the journey.

I enjoy going out and talking with friends. I plan everything I do and rarely do spontaneous. Granted, you can plan the spontaneous behavior and make it appear spontaneous, it is still planned.

I cannot wait for summer so I can go to the Mid-Summer dance events at the Lincoln Center.

I enjoy a game of tennis, basketball, ping pong, and swimming. Though I am outside person, I am not against kicking your butt in Nintendo Wii—hah. I have showed some co-workers my skills at employee tournaments.

QUOTES:
I am going to list some quotes from what other people have told me:

“you do not say much…but when you say something it is very impactful…” — best friend from elementary school
“I have to try to make you laugh once a day” — a male friend
“you are pretty fun guy” — a random guy
“I do not think I have to worry about you…you always have everything put together” — a older male friend
“you are pretty slim…” — a friend
“OMG…I thought I was older than you” — a law student in her mid 20s
“you do not look like you are 30” — woman in her early 20s
“you’re skin is so supple” – a woman in her 20s
“…you are soo tall” – a 3yr old

WHAT I AM GOOD AT:

  1. [[design]]
  2. breaking down concepts
  3. understanding mathematical concepts though I am not classically trained to be a mathematician
  4. [[legal research]]
  5. teaching kids the concepts of the [[bible]]
  6. freestyle
  7. backstroke
  8. reading body language
  9. and more to come

FAVORITE STUFF:
still working on it… too many to choose from… I mean I can go on….

Books:
Bible

Media:
I like the show Numb3rs, How I met your mother…

Food & Beverage:
oolong tea, lung ching tea ???, ginger beer, hibiscus tea, [[soursop]]

milk shakes, [bubble tea], mooncake, [[steak with mushrooms]]
lychee, longyan, cheeries, black berries, fish balls, red snapper, fish balls, glass noodles, sugar cane

bok choi, egg noodles, squid, kimichi, and ackee & saltfish…

SPEND A LOT OF TIME THINKING ABOUT:
work, design, papers, love, God, family, meeting someone special (obvious…)

YOU SHOULD MESSAGE ME :
You just want to say hi there, and if you are curious to learn more about me.

Also if the conversation is going great, I see no reason why we can’t meet up within a few days. I’m so used to the offline scene were the dating part is fast, and the courting in the relationship is to be slow, sweet, and special.

If you like someone why should you wait, you are only guaranteed today.

You think you can fit a glass sliper — hah. I am just messing with you.

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8 thoughts on “

  1. AKchic says:

    [I don’t know if your “hah”s were meant to be self depricating, comic relief, or a nervous tic, but they got to be annoying after the second one. They reminded me of the Sontaur battle chants (Sontaur HA! Sontaur HA! Sontaur HA!) (and yes, I just threw down some Doctor Who nerd on ye).

    I’m not dating, nor even looking to date (I’m married), and I felt overwhelmed with not only the information, but the content. Like you were not only giving a resume, but an extensive summarized background of your recent history. What are you supposed to talk about on the first date, if you get to that point? Nothing innocuous since you’ve given a person enough information to practically track you down with only a few more ingredients (your city, name, and birth month).

    You certainly don’t need those quotes. Having favorite quotes of notable people (i.e., Ghandi, Tesla, Captain Jack Harkness, former presidents/world leaders) is one thing. Random people that a person has never met and is as well-known to her as the drunk at a bar peeing on the wall outside as she’s leaving will mean nothing. Especially when the quotes you’re giving is describing generally “duh” comments that this person will more than likely discover herself once she has either read your profile or seen you in person is fluffing your word count.

    You also make yourself sound so busy that I, personally, am questioning whether or not you even have TIME for a long-term, real relationship, or whether or not you’re just looking for short-term, casual flings. Your life, with part-time work (which you admit you cut back to because you were too busy), a heavy school load, volunteering, church, Sunday school (which you are leaving because of being too busy, but will be looking to add MORE volunteer committments!) – where the hell will you find TIME to date?

    Then of course, the personal likes section. What you think about. That’s it? That’s ALL you think about? All day, every day? Dude… need to rethink yourself, or get rid of that section all together. And read more than just the bible. Expand your horizons. Yes, I get that you’re busy reading textbooks, but you can EXPLAIN that. The thing is, women talk. And many women know that a lot of men who say that the only book they read is the bible, they tend to interpret it in ways that are NOT woman-friendly. Which means, very few are going to want to take the chance when they worry about possible mysogyny. Especially with all of the other religious references. I wanted to listen to some Hells Bells just reading your profile. Granted, I’m not Judeo-Christian. And very irreverent.

    That’s my advice. For what it’s worth.

  2. Dennis Hong says:

    [I’m a guy, so I guess you should take my thoughts with a grain of salt, but here they are, anyway:

    The first thing I notice when reading your profile is… justification, justification, justification. It’s like every other sentence starts with something bad about yourself, but then you defend it. Well, why even bring it up then? You’re trying to sell yourself to someone who’s never met you. Why focus on your supposed faults, then spend so much time defending yourself? You should be proud of who you are. You should be talking about all the ways that you’re awesome. (Of course, don’t overdo it. Because that would be pretty obvious, too.)

    I also dislike the “hahs.” Sarcasm is very difficult to convey via the written word, and the way I see it, if you can’t convey it properly without resorting to emoticons or “hahs,” then you probably should just take it out.

    And yes, your self-description is way too long. Just keep it simple. And I don’t like the quotes here. You shouldn’t have to rely on others to sell yourself. The quotes make you seem kind of needy, as though you require validation from others. And that’s definitely not an attractive quality.

  3. Savannah says:

    [I’m a single woman your age who is currently online dating so here’s my perspective:
    (1) The “hah’s” have got to go. They are terribly awkward and made it sound like you were a robot.
    (2) The entry is way too long. Women are reading through a lot of profiles –give them something shirt and sweet. If its too long it begins to look desperate–like you’re trying really hard to sell yourself. My advice would be cut out 75% of what you have and in the remaining portion just tell it like it is confidently. State things as if you’re proud of them. No need to mention that you were full time down to part-time, just state you work part time and are seeking to take classes in the remaining time. It’s simply too wordy with too much detail.
    (3) It’s clear you are a sweet guy with a good heart.
    (4) The singing in the rain line sounds feminine. If that’s your thing though, go for it.
    (5) The quotes from friends– delete it. I understand what you’re trying to do but it comes off self-indulgent like, “look how great other people think I am!” Allow your understated but confident profile stand on its own.
    (6) why would you tell someone you’re shy at first if they won’t notice it when you meet them? It’s better to say, “I’m a confident guy but can be surprisingly shy on the inside initially”.

    Good luck! 🙂

  4. Solstice says:

    [I mainly agree with everyone else. Get rid of the quotes, they don’t add anything. Also, I don’t know what fish balls are, but I would remove them from the things you like to eat. It sounds kind of disgusting. And your summary is quite long, so take out some of it. Good luck!

  5. Matt Sanchelli says:

    [Though I am typically a supporter of ‘the more the merrier’, even when it comes to online profiles, your does tend to be a bit long; so cutting it down a bit would be best.

    Get rid of everything that could possibly apply to virtually every other person in the world. For example: “I enjoy going out and talking with friends.” Or the comment on being shy at first until comfortable. Sure, some people are more extroverted when mixing with people they’ve never met but that’s also typically in larger group settings. Hopefully you won’t be THAT shy when meeting a single woman on a one-on-one date.

    Being a person who used to be guilty of this, avoid over-explaining items in your profile. Some examples I found: “I plan everything I do and rarely do spontaneous. Granted, you can plan the spontaneous behavior and make it appear spontaneous, it is still planned,” the bit on competition and control, your work/educational plans.

    I would say drop the entire ‘Quotes’ section. It’s a good spin from the typical profile but the information in there doesn’t really do much that would really showcase what’s “special” about you. If you wanted to keep this section it would maybe be best to have funny/quirky quotes to try and make the reader laugh.

    In the final section, definitely consider dropping: “Also if the conversation is going great, I see no reason why we can’t meet up within a few days. I’m so used to the offline scene were the dating part is fast, and the courting in the relationship is to be slow, sweet, and special.”

    Hope this helps. If you do end up doing a revision I’m sure we all would like to see what you came up with.

    Good luck!

  6. Ash says:

    [OK, very interesting entry you got there guy but as a girl nearing 29, here’s my take on things-
    1) You’re still looking to meet women through an online profile. Now there’s nothing wrong with that but if that really is a terrible way to put you good guy-ness out there. If you’re nice and kind and good for a girl, it would be better seen than told if you know what I mean.
    2) You’re really shy and the confidence seems to be dwindling. Again, nothing wrong with that but you need to know is that your profile kinda screams “trying too hard”. If I was revising your profile (and I kinda write for a living), I’d probably go for something like “I’m a nice, fun guy.. teach Sunday school… looking for a long term kinda gal” and end it there… Women like mystery dude, we like to feel like we’re the only ones that know a guy and what he’s like deep inside. Getting to know you should give us a sense of accomplishment. So trim that profile the first chance you get.
    3) Women are just as vain as men. Why do you think so many of us stay with good looking ones that beat us up? No matter how good looking you are, you need to work hard to present yourself better. And here’s the best thing that you have working for you- you’re already slim. Work that to your advantage. You’ll get a sculpted midriff sooner than others. Get that six pack asap and then show it off. You’ll have women throwing themselves at you. I really cannot make it any simpler than you.

  7. New User 902228 says:

    [Hi All!, the original person that started writing this post. I have read all your comments and found some more amusing than others, especially Ash’s #3 response—hah[whoops can’t use hah]. I will get back to you with an edit soon.


    that guy

  8. New User 902228 says:

    [My self-summary
    ????? ???!
    Just a fun guy that is currently sporting a mustache and a beard. I laugh at internet memes, have a competitive nature, and if I could sing— I would sing in the rain—hah.

    What I am doing with my life
    Currently, I am working part-time and working at my friend’s start-up. Taking night-time class to help further my writing skills and to attain a better grip over business.

    I am here on this site, because I just want to meet someone special (yeojachingu) on this site. I understand this might take some time, but I up for the journey. And if I make a few friends on the way, why not…

    I also like to tease my friends about how bad their sport teams are doing. And if they do not like sports I pick on their favorite celebrities.

    Mid-Summer dance events at the Lincoln Center have started and I need a dance partner…

    I enjoy a game of tennis, basketball, ping pong, and swimming.

    Though I am outside person, I am not against kicking your butt in Nintendo Wii—hah. I have showed some co-workers my skills at employee tournaments.

    I’m really good at
    [[design]]
    breaking down concepts
    [[legal research]]
    teaching kids the concepts of the [[bible]]
    freestyle
    backstroke
    reading body language
    and more to come
    ?????. ??? ? ???.

    First THings people notice about me

    I am going to list some quotes from what other people have told me:

    “you do not say much…but when you say something it is very impactful…” — best friend from elementary school
    “you are pretty fun guy” — a random guy
    “I do not think I have to worry about you…you always have everything put together” — a older male friend
    “OMG…I thought I was older than you” — a law student in her mid 20s
    “you do not look like you are 30” — woman in her early 20s
    “you’re skin is so supple” – a woman in her 20s
    “…you are soo tall” – a 3yr old

    Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

    still working on it… too many to choose from…

    Books & Magazines:
    Bible
    National Geographic, Wired, L Magazine, GQ, Guardian,

    Media:
    I like the show Man v. Wild, Numb3rs, How I met your mother, 30 Rock…
    Apparently I do not watch much tv…

    Food & Beverage:
    oolong tea, lung ching tea ???, ginger beer, hibiscus tea, [[soursop]]

    milk shakes, [bubble tea], mooncake, [[steak with mushrooms]]
    lychee, longyan, cheeries, black berries, fish balls, red snapper, fish balls, glass noodles, sugar cane

    bok choi, egg noodles, squid, kimichi, burrito, mexican cheeseburger, and ackee & saltfish…

    I spent a lot of time thinking about
    work, design, papers, business, human rights, love, God, family, meeting someone special (obvious…), and other stuff ( just ask, lazy…geez)

    You should message me if
    If you like someone why should you wait, you are only guaranteed today.

    You want to help me with my Hangul, and I can help you with your Yeong-eo!

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