Ex uses our photo for online dating profile

I dated this amazing man who I felt very much in love with for about three years. Unfortunately it didn’t work out, and he even moved to another state for work six moths after we broke up. The move broke my heart and I realized it was time to really move forward. Before he left he said all his I love you and I’ll be back BS. At this point I’m really convinced he’s gone for good, so no weird hopes, communication or romanticizing going on here. Now, six months forward he tells me he’s on OKC looking for ‘the one’. I, of course did the unthinkable and searched the site until I found him, and there he is, using a picture of us as his profile. I really want to like this and be flattered, but instead I’m livid. I mean, seriously! wtf?! He left, he broke my heart and is now using our photos as bait? This may be just steaming, but I’m so tempted to tell him to
take them down. It feels inappropriate, he’s no longer part of my life and what we had it’s in the past. Advice? What to do? Men can
be insensible, but this is on the jerk side.

6 thoughts on “Ex uses our photo for online dating profile

  1. Matt Sanchelli says:

    [Sorry to hear about the circumstance, the break up, and your frustrations.

    I am curious though; why did he even feel it necessary to tell you that he’s on OkCupid and looking for “the one”? Do the two of you keep in touch often; whether it be via e-mail, phone calls, texting, etc.? Are the pictures actually of the two of you; or did he crop you out?

    To be honest, based on what you’ve said here, it doesn’t so much sound like he’s on the site to find “the one”, but he’s on there to bait YOU and see where your feelings are.

    Why tell you (an Ex) that he’s online dating? Why phrase it as looking for “the one”; thus seemingly putting that little ‘ump’ pointing out that you weren’t the one for him. Why use pictures of the two of you together?

    None of that makes sense to me at all.

    Personally, it sounds like he’s playing some sort of game. That or he’s just trying to get a gauge to see if you’re still pining for him still; essentially if you’re still heart-broken and if he can still pull your strings. This may not be the case, but that’s the way it seems to look from this perspective.

    I would say don’t let this brief instance of communication change what you said, “he’s no longer part of my life and what we had it’s in the past.”

    Leave him in the past. Go on with the life you’ve been living without him in it.

  2. resullins says:

    [I’m with Matt. You tout that it’s over, and you’re moving, and he’s moving on, and it’s all in the past. But everything you’re writing here is in direct contradiction to that.

    You’re obviously not over it, and neither is he. He may not love you anymore, but he’s still a significant part of your life, and you’re letting him control you emotionally.

    If it’s really in the past… put it past you and stop caring what he does with the remnants of your relationship.

  3. onthesunnyroad says:

    [wow, just wow.

    this is garbage.

    Can you even read? this judgmental, middle school non-constructive jabbing has very little to do with the *actual question, which was about online etiquette. Let me repeat it for good measure: “My ex uses our photo as his profile in an online site”.

    As a rule of thumb, your personal opinions on people’s feelings are for you to keep, not to try to decode from your clairvoyant powers reading 3 lines. I can’t believe that as a grown, independent and successful woman I could possibly end up in an opinionated zest pool like this. Oh yeah, it was late at night and was redirected by an article about an online dating forum…. hum… and here I was fantasizing…. what if it is like a personalized oktrends? that would be cool, right?


    No one needs to get schooled and judged on their lives as if buying real state. This is about people’s emotions, has this online platform desensitize you so much already? What are you? 18 and in a frat house?

    That women are turned off by couple’s photos…really? wow, phenomenal insight.

    If anything, thank you Matt for the remains of any kind of sensibility. Don’t listen to the fools. I’m a corporate brand strategist who specializes on online communications and content, you’re doing it right boy.

    Let me say my last and finish while ya’ll still high fiving each other feeling so confident to be giving advice online: you need to start with some basic courtesies when addressing people. It’s bloody offensive when you talk about someone in third person, in a forum is not different than while seating on a table. It’s overly rude to say the very least.

    Here’s a video mates, you know, to make it easier to understand.


  4. Dennis Hong says:

    [What Matt and resullins said. But mostly what resullins said, because I feel like you could use a bit of ass-kicking here.

    For what it’s worth, every woman I’ve talked to who has any experience with online dating has said that photos of guys with girls are always a turn-off. So, you can rest assured that he’s probably shooting himself in the foot here.

  5. Kitte Lishuss says:

    [I had an ex that continued to use a photo of us together for his profile pic on FaceBook months and months after he left me. I told him to please take all traces of me off of his page, especially the profile picture. I think it’s rude and deceptive and also nobody should be allowed to use your likeness without your implicit consent.

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