Any advice? I had a child with a man I was not married to, and when he found out she was his (via legal paternity test done together), he asked me not to file for child support. I was uncomfortable saying I would, so I unfortunately agreed. But that was when I was military and had more money coming in. Now, since I retired (she’s nearly 2 years old now) I’ve struggled and run up credit card bills. I can barely afford food and daycare. I’m selling off possessions, close to filing bankruptcy … It’s been such a struggle, and I’ve had to rely on family. He still says he’s so glad I’ve “helped” him by not asking for money. I barely made it through this month, and only did so because I asked him for $100 … he keeps saying he loves her, wants to help “one day, when he can.” I’m so scared to file. Are there mediators or people I can go to who can help me figure out how to do this? Have I lost all rights to do so now that I’ve waited 2 years? I know I need a lawyer, but cannot afford one. Anyone here have any experience/advice?
Category: Advice Needed
Is there a point where you stop caring about trust issues?
I am not trusted in my relationship. My partner insists that I am but behavior just shows time and again that I am not. We’ve been together almost ten years, I’ve never been unfaithful. A year and change ago, an ex friended me on facebook. For a while, the only interactions were just normal liking or commenting on various facebook crap. Never anything more than any other facebook friend. Then my grandfather died. Like a normal person, she offered condolences and we had a conversation because she knew him. This set my partner off and in the weeks after I was told to get rid of her altogether. I did. We are no longer facebook friends and I have had no contact with this person whatsoever. My partner constantly stalks her thru her facebook. She constantly checks my phone and emails and facebook for any signs of cheating, presumably with this person but could be anyone. I don’t hide or delete anything so this isn’t an issue but the lack of trust is. I’m told that if I’m not doing anything wrong then I shouldn’t have anything to hide. What bothers me is that we’re now like 9 months later and she’s still checking my stuff and still stalking my ex. Still hasn’t found anything, but it really hurts and every time I bring it up it’s a huge fight. There’s also a double standard because she’s quite good friends with her ex and other exes and I really don’t stop her from being friends with anybody. But anytime she suspects something of me all of my stuff gets rifled thru and I walk around on eggshells so that I don’t say anything about it.
In short, how do I stop caring about this?
I just wanted to vent out and needed an advice
We are LDR. Yesterday, we argued about me suddenly changing plans.
— long story about changing of plans —
It was monday, I was supposed to play that night with a friend but I changed my mind (since we are LDR and I wanted to spend time with her) and thought that we should at least watch an anime before me playing. but then my a friend of mine asked if we can come over to his house tomorrow (tuesday), so I told her that I won’t be playing that night and we’ll just watch anime the whole night. She told me that she was going out in wednesday so I told my friends that we move the plan in Wednesday (since she wont be at home that day)
—
she got pissed and she hung up on me. I got angry so I didn’t called her back. After an hour or so, I messaged her and tried to talk to her. Sending cute and funny stickers and trying to make her laugh. It worked though, but when I told her that it was an overnight stay, she got angry again (angry because I didn’t told her upfront/that it was so childish not telling her upfront)
and things got worse, she started telling me that I dont care for her. that I didn’t even called her back after she hunged up. now everything’s downhill from there. She started telling me that all she wanted was affection. That I should show that I love her. I tried to tell her that I love her; that I don’t want her to go away but she rebutted everything I said. She’s telling me that I am not making an effort in being affectionate to her and understanding her.
I tried, I repeatedly told her I am sorry if I didn’t told her directly that it was an overnight stay and that I didn’t called her back. I explained why I did those things. I told her I didn’t call her back because I dont want to say stupid things (since I was angry at that time). It was a wall of text. I told her I love her, I pleaded her not to breakup.
But still, that wasn’t the thing that she wanted from me. She repeatedly saying that I don’t know what she wants. But deep in my mind, she wanted affection and I am wrong if I thought that is what I was giving her.
Long story short, I managed to make up with her by wooing her and making her laugh.
Today, we are okay (I think) and as I am writing this, I am thinking of something we can do today since I won’t be going to work.
HELP !!!!
I WAS WORKING FOR THIS COMPANY , I WAS FIRED FOR RESPECTING WHAT A RUDE CUSTOMER HAD SAID TO ME TO ONE OF MY CO WORKERS . MY MANAGER HEARD ME AND I WAS FIRED . 1 YEAR LATER I WENT TO FILL OUT ANOTHER APPLICATION JUST TO SEE IF THEY WOULD REHIRE ME . THEY DID . ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT FOR MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER I PUT A 3 INSTEAD OF A 6 & I THINK THAT WHY THE APPLICATION WENT THROUGH . SHOULD I JUST TAKE THIS AND RUN WITH IT BECAUSE IM UNEMPLOYED OR SHOULD I JUST NOT TAKE IT BECAUSE ITS TOO MUCH OF A RISK ?
Involved with a good friend?
Currently I am involved with a good friend of mine- it’s been going on for about 4 months now. Prior to this we had been flirting on and off for a few years, but had only become a more serious thing about eight months after I had broken up with my boyfriend. It was just meant to be a fun, casual and laid back thing; hooking up here and there but nothing serious (it was agreed that if it became something more to either of us, we would call it off). Now I’m stuck as I don’t see it going further, nor do I wish to pursue a relationship like that; I just don’t see myself with him. It gets tricky here as I really value him as a friend- he brightens my day and I miss him when I don’t see or speak to him. Also, we work together (part time), which makes this situation even harder. We’ve had the conversation to stop doing what we’re doing, but somehow we always end up falling back into it. I don’t want to lose him, but I can’t keep doing this anymore. We’re essentially stopping each other from meeting someone special by staying together because we’re comfortable in our situation; it’s more convenient to stay together and avoid the drama. It’s extremely difficult as we’re all extremely close within our friendship group and I don’t want to make things uncomfortable for others.
I don’t know how to approach this situation, and feel that maybe a point of view from the outside looking in may be helpful.
one night stand.. does he like me or not?
I met this guy in a club over the weekend. He wasn’t local and was here on business trip so didn’t have a local number. All he gave me was a work email address, took my phone and sent himself an email and said he will write me again. But after a few drinks, we headed back to his hotel. The sex was amazing and he was very sweet. He even wanted to cuddle and have pillow talk after sex and also prepared toothbrush etc for me for the morning.
We had sex again in the morning and cuddled for the longest time. He walked me down to get a taxi and I went back. The next day I wrote him an email asking if he was interested to have a drink, he replied me a couple hours later and said he could do drinks with me but would be late at night. I said ok and was waiting for him in my friend’s bar. He was an hour late so i thought he wasn’t coming but was surprised and happy when he showed up.
I could tell he was very tired when he got to the bar, he came directly after his work. So after a drink we went back to his hotel and this time i wasn’t drunk. The sex was even better than the last time and after sex we cuddled again and he asked started asking me how many relationships i’ve had, if i thought he’s cute and how would i rate the sex blah blah.. He said i was definitely in his top 3 of all his relationships and that he loved how much i turn him on (not sure if this is some form of tactic to make me feel special).
As we were falling asleep with me wrapped up in his arms, he suddenly jerked me up and said “come on, lets go to the roof. you’d love it, the view is amazing and we could have a smoke there” (i told him before we went to sleep that i would love to have a cigarette right now and he said he will have one too and started to yawn so i said it’s ok since he’s so tired he should rest). At that point, I thought he was so sweet and thoughtful.
He told me he had a conference call at 6am but he would rather i stay the night and leave before his call (emphasised how sorry he was to have to wake me up early too). We cuddled and he hugged me so tight and said “now you don’t want me to go back, do you?” I shook my head and he hugged me even tighter and said “i’m glad you like me”.
So 6am came and his phone was screaming, i woke up in shock of the alarm and he wrapped his arms around me and said “shh.. dont bother about it, sleep baby”. he took the call and signal that i should just sleep in and not leave.
We had sex again after his call and he said we should just snooze for 10 mins and head down for breakfast. During breakfast, he was being so sweet again and i was at that point starting to fall for him. He told me he had to jump into another call, i said he should take it up his room and he asked if i would go up too but i didn’t wanna overstay my welcome and chose to head home.
Later in the afternoon I wrote him again, asking if he wanted to meet up again but only got a reply like 5 hours later saying he would be too tired to head out but i am very welcome over his place. I replied i would go over in a while and asked if he’s already back in the hotel but got no reply. I know he has a early morning flight and we stayed up so late the night before, he’s probably tired.
I got an reply from him in the middle of the night saying he fell asleep and that he was very sorry but i have yet to reply him. Now I know he will be flying in and out the country for work so he will definitely be back. The thing is he only gave me his work email and not his private one, he does not have Facebook and i can’t add him there. He has a phone but didn’t give me his number (could be a work phone for all i know). So basically i have no means of contacting him except for his work email which in this current era, is kinda stupid to me.
My question is, does he actually like me at all? Should i reply his email and what should i say in my email?
relationship advice should I stay?
Ive been in a relationship for six years and my partner has never had a steady job. He is 33 and I am 26. He’s a film maker and tells me it is the nature of the career he has chosen. One year ago he moved to another country on the pre-tense of getting work, since then he has had a job for only two months of this year. The rest of the time he is doing what he calls freelance work he is making online videos to add to his show reel but he is not getting paid. Im am getting frustrated with this situation as we have been maintaining a long term relationship for 1 yr now and I feel there is no reason to be. It came to a head today when I called him and said i would book and pay for flights for him to come home this weekend (I know he does not have any work this weekend) and he has refused to take me up on the offer. Am i being selfish to want him to live in the same country as me and is there any way to put across my worries about him not working without it sounding like I am nagging
Does he actually want to hang out, or is he just being nice?
So today I texted a guy who I really like. I asked him if he would like to hang out or talk sometime to get to know each other better. He replied saying: “I’d be happy to hang out sometime and chat!” Does that mean he just wants to be friends, or does he want to actually hang out with me? Or is he just trying to be nice?
How stupid i feel after a one night stand
I’ve been single for months and i got bored spending evenings having dinner by myself or with friends or with parent. I went on dates but didn’t sleep with any of them because i didn’t like their personalities neither nor no chemistry. Some were very obvious they wanted sexual encounters.
Then my friend suggested Tinder. It was fun killing time. There are many attractive guys in the area–most of them don’t live here. It was like somewhat an ego boost that i’ve gotten many matches. I put in my profile that i was looking for friends to hang out, dining out and trying new cool spots in town. Not looking for hook ups or casual sex.
Anyway, I matched a cute guy. He’s 28 and I’m 33. He stated in his profile he lives over 1000km away from me but he came in town. Anyway, i complimented his photos. We started chatting and he asked if i had any plans that evening. I was busy with work so i didn’t reply. The next day, in the afternoon, he asked me again to meet that evening and i thought.. fine by me. He gave me his number and Line ID then we met for a nice Japanese dinner. I offered to share the bill because i didn’t want to take advantages of him. After that, we hanged out at a cool bar. He said he often came to the city i live, almost every month. We started drinking and having flowing conversations. We discussed about many topics. Work, life, philosophy and relationship. I started to get tipsy and started to kiss him on lips. Then he looked a little bit surprised with wide opened eyes. I told him he was very cute. He really was cute, funny, witty, incredibly smart, very active and very social. We kissed and talked a bit more. Anyway, i told him i couldn’t go to his place because i parked my car elsewhere and need to take it out before midnight since i didn’t want a one night stand to happen. But he seemed to wait it and ,admittedly, i wanted it with him too.
He accompanied me to pick my car. Before we went to his hotel, i asked him he wasn’t in any kind of relationship. He said he broke up with his ex gf a month ago. That’s why he went to Tokyo to see his friends 2 weeks ago before coming here.
At his room, we joked, we laughed and we talked even more and more. He tried to impress me and acting mature and that made me smile. He never flooded compliments or being cheesy but i liked that. I convinced myself i hadn’t had sex for a long time and this would be a one time thing.
After it’s done, he asked me to scratch his back and we cuddled for a while and fell asleep. Then morning sex.. then scratch his back. He asked if we could meet each other again when he come back next month. I said i would be traveling to a neighbor country and he asked where and he said he would like to go with me too. I was surprised to here that. Then he told me to send an itinerary to his email address—he gave me his full name and his email address to me. However, he told me he had an appointment at a hospital this morning (he mentioned that he had unknown cause of headache that bothers him) so we got dressed. When we were downstairs, i was about to walk to my car, then he asked me to have breakfast with him then asked me to drop him at a hospital.
After we departed, i didn’t expect to hear from him again. I tried not to get emotionally attached. Then when i got home, he texted me saying his MRI result was normal. His blood tests came back normal as well. I told him take it easy.
Then in the afternoon he texted me and asked me to hang out with him before he flew back. At first i hesitated because i felt weird… but it was my day off and i didn’t want to stay at home all day so i agreed to go. He was the one do the talking and asked me opinions about things. I was happy inside but tried to act cool.
When we got to the place, it was a gypsy market in a very hot sunny day. It was crowded and i frowned briefly and looked away but didn’t say a word but he seemed to get it and we did a boat trip instead. Before we went on seperate ways, he kissed me on my lips and still texted me saying we would meet soon, let him know about my upcomng trip soon before he flew back.
He flew back 3-4 days ago and I haven’t heard from him after since. I know this would happen. What could i expect from a one night stand? I did enjoy the sex with him and having him around. I’m just confused why he gave me “we’ll meet soon” crap when he didn’t intend to meet me again. I know i analyze too much. It wouldn’t change the fact it was just a one night stand and it wouldn’t turn into anything more.
I wish i didn’t stay for breakfast.. neither nor going out with him on the second day afternoon. He made me feel special and it made me grow a feeling for him. Stupid me i fall for him. Now i have to move on but i’m missing him…
love advice
I love a girl unconditionally.I’ve changed myself to every possible extent she likes.She does love me.But she fell in love with an asshole (whom she considers to be a nice person).He was in a relationship and lied to her that he wasn’t which was the reason she started getting feelings for him?
Now that she knows hes committed, she doen’t want a relationship with him,just wants to be friends with him. She thinks too much about him,cries for him.He is an opportunist…he wants to talk/text/meet her when his girlfriend isn’t available.Seeing her suffering is giving me immense pain.I can’t think of any other girl but her.Iv been hurt crazily and i have lost interest in life.I don’t wanna leave her cause im the only close person to her she depends(she’ll be shatterd if i left).I can’t leave her too.Iv got so attached to her that i cant spend a min thinking of her.I know she’s a wreck but i still wanna love her,nurture her.
also she knows me from 8 years and gotta that piece of shit hardly an year ago.This literally burns my ass.
hes hurt her infinitely and iv loved her,taken care of her and supported her infinitely.
we’d smooched,made out etc.
but now she refuses to kiss me on my lips cause she gets him on her mind.The fact that she smooched me thinking of him is undigestable to me.
im really hurt and depressed.
She says she can’t take decisions now as shes scared where she might lose me.Hes still on her mind.The more he ignores her,the more she thinks of him and suffers.im suffering seeing this and goin into depression.my life,career,everything is taking a hit.
why am i so unlucky?
Ive always been the nicest person to her.
is it why im getting hurt like this?
why do nice people suffer the most while inhuman assholes live a happy life?
what do i do?
