I am not trusted in my relationship. My partner insists that I am but behavior just shows time and again that I am not. We’ve been together almost ten years, I’ve never been unfaithful. A year and change ago, an ex friended me on facebook. For a while, the only interactions were just normal liking or commenting on various facebook crap. Never anything more than any other facebook friend. Then my grandfather died. Like a normal person, she offered condolences and we had a conversation because she knew him. This set my partner off and in the weeks after I was told to get rid of her altogether. I did. We are no longer facebook friends and I have had no contact with this person whatsoever. My partner constantly stalks her thru her facebook. She constantly checks my phone and emails and facebook for any signs of cheating, presumably with this person but could be anyone. I don’t hide or delete anything so this isn’t an issue but the lack of trust is. I’m told that if I’m not doing anything wrong then I shouldn’t have anything to hide. What bothers me is that we’re now like 9 months later and she’s still checking my stuff and still stalking my ex. Still hasn’t found anything, but it really hurts and every time I bring it up it’s a huge fight. There’s also a double standard because she’s quite good friends with her ex and other exes and I really don’t stop her from being friends with anybody. But anytime she suspects something of me all of my stuff gets rifled thru and I walk around on eggshells so that I don’t say anything about it.
In short, how do I stop caring about this?