How to file for child support?

Any advice? I had a child with a man I was not married to, and when he found out she was his (via legal paternity test done together), he asked me not to file for child support. I was uncomfortable saying I would, so I unfortunately agreed. But that was when I was military and had more money coming in. Now, since I retired (she’s nearly 2 years old now) I’ve struggled and run up credit card bills. I can barely afford food and daycare. I’m selling off possessions, close to filing bankruptcy … It’s been such a struggle, and I’ve had to rely on family. He still says he’s so glad I’ve “helped” him by not asking for money. I barely made it through this month, and only did so because I asked him for $100 … he keeps saying he loves her, wants to help “one day, when he can.” I’m so scared to file. Are there mediators or people I can go to who can help me figure out how to do this? Have I lost all rights to do so now that I’ve waited 2 years? I know I need a lawyer, but cannot afford one. Anyone here have any experience/advice?

5 thoughts on “How to file for child support?

  1. Ecrivaine32 says:

    [The sentence I wrote in my post should have been rewritten as: “I was uncomfortable saying I wouldn’t file, but unfortunatelyI agreed not to do so.”

  2. Ecrivaine32 says:

    [Dang it, no way to edit comments, so here goes again … The sentence I wrote in my post should have been rewritten as: “I was uncomfortable saying I wouldn’t file, but unfortunately I agreed not to do so.”

  3. Workerbee says:

    [Your state can help with it for free. Just look it up, I think it’s usually through the dept of revenue. It can take lots longer than hiring a lawyer, but free is free. You also haven’t lost your ability to file, it’s the child’s right to have the support of both parents, not the parent’s. He may have to make back payments though since he knew she was his years ago.

  4. KathrynFK says:

    [I don’t know the details of your situation and can’t provide legal advice here, only information, but I can tell you that an a delay in filing won’t lessen your child’s right to support, and an oral agreement not to file is unenforceable. Go to a free legal clinic like this one: . They have lawyers and law students who will help you file for free. They should also be able to help you find a mediator if that’s the route you choose to go.

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