Sorry this might be a bit long… I am almost 20 years old, my husband is 22. We have a wonderful little boy together who just turned 1. We married after a little less than 2 years together, 10 months of which we lived together, and we were each other’s first “real” boyfriend/girlfriend.total of 3 years together. I know, we should have waited, getting married that young was stupid. But I loved him so much, and I still do. I thought that surely we could make it work, we were in love and that’s all I thought we needed. He used to make me feel so happy and loved and secure, and on good days he still does, but the bad days far outweigh the good at this point. He is addicted to a computer game called League of Legends. I don’t use that term lightly, he will play for more than 12 hours at a time. He tells me every day that all he wants is for me to be quiet and keep the baby quiet so he can play. He regularly spends over $100 a week on points to buy new characters, skins and abilities for the game, which would be fine if we could afford it, but usually it comes out of money that needs to go towards the power bill for our apartment, or diapers. I feel like we barely know each other anymore. He’s pushed away all my friends and family, I have nobody else to talk to or spend time with. He won’t talk to me about anything meaningful for more than a minute, and I desperately miss the intimacy that we used to have before he found that game. I don’t mean sex, we still have great sex about 3 times a week, but he thinks that that’s all the interaction we need, and he immediately starts another game afterwards, no pillow talk or or anything. He works, but when he’s at home he refuses to do anything, and he makes me feel bad if the dishes aren’t done or he has no clean shirts. He expects me to do all of the cooking and cleaning, and take care of the baby, plus I work 50 hours a week on third shift. I get about 3-4 hours of sleep per day because he is unwilling to watch the baby, he’s okay for an hour but as soon as he needs feeding or changing, he yells for me to “get the baby” because he is crying in hunger and interrupting his game. He never thanks me for anything, he never returns favors, and everything is my fault. I irritated him, I bothered him, he’s grumpy because I didn’t make dinner in time, I did this and didn’t do that. He forgot our anniversary, ignored my birthday, and we havent had a date in a very long time. Even if I get a sitter and get ready and everything, he’s not interested. If I threaten to leave he gets teary and apologizes, says his parents are divorced so he has no examples of a healthy relationship, he’ll try harder, etc. Next day, same deal. I have done nothing but bring this man up. When we got together, he had nothing but a minimum wage job. I got our apartment in my name because he has bad credit, I helped him save for a car, I filled out applications for him to get a better job, I do everything for him right down to telling him to shower. I cook all the meals, bring him breakfast on my way home, all because I still love him. I feel used, lonely, sad, and unappreciated. The other day He told me that he’s unhappy because the butterflies are gone, and that he loves me, but is no longer in love with me. I told him the butterflies can’t last forever, eventually we’d get past the honeymoon stage and we have, but he thinks that the butterflies are supposed to last forever. All that seems like the clear answer is to leave, right? But I just feel like I have invested so much time, energy and love into him, I can’t make myself leave. money will not be the deciding factor, but im not sure if I can pay the bills on my own, especially since I would have to hire an overnight sitter while I work, that would take half my check. He wouldnt have anywhere to go, and he’d be kinda helpless, he’s used to me doing everything, and I wouldn’t be able to stand it if I knew he didn’t have a place to sleep because of me. He’s driven all his friends away as well. A few times a day I’ll get a kiss and we’ll have a few good hours, or we’ll watch movies snuggled on the couch and it gives me hope that maybe we’ll be okay, it’s only been this bad for a few months and it can only get better, I tell myself that maybe this is just a stage and he’ll mature out of it, like he’s making up for the childhood he didn’t get. I don’t want our son growing up wondering which parents house he spends Christmas at. I know it’s a lot harder for kids when their parents are separated, but at the same time it can’t be good if he sees Daddy making Mommy sad every day. I know he loves him, when he does manage to spend an hour with us he’s a great dad, the baby adores him worships the ground he walks on, daddy is his only word. He makes sure he had what he needs, but it doesn’t make up for the rest of the time, and how he treats me. I ask him all the time how we can be better, what’s bothering him, and all I get is that he just wants to game. I feel like he’s contantly looking at other women and texting a “friend from high school or work” while I’ve never even looked at another guy, let alone gotten a number. So what do you think? Should I up and leave him or kick him out, even though that would emotionally devastate me? Stick with it and hope he gets better and grows out of it? Deliver an ultimatum? Destroy his computer?
thanks for reading, sorry again this was so long

Im usually a very private person and while I do have a very specific topic that I need advice on I also dont want to run the risk of anything I say ever becoming circulated the way internet things often are.

So this is just a test post from me.

I have been debating about this for awhile. I don’t want to share it with anyone but I’ve come to a halt, I’m confused, and I dont have anyone I can share this with that knows how to handle it calmly because I dislike when people can’t keep it cool, it makes me Anxious. I don’t want to sound needy or anything, But I need advice to make my decision.. I’ve been dating him for awhile, almost 2 years now. I am his 1st girlfriend and now he is moving away. I know long distance isn’t very good especially for him. And I’m wondering if maybe I am keeping him from possibilities to come. He says he loves me.. but noting I am his first.. I’m not utterly sure if he knows what he means, or if he thinks its love because I’m the only one willing to listen and help. Now we have no way of seeing each other, we barely have a way to talk. I don’t want to hurt him, but i know sometimes.. its better to rip off the bandaid instead of slowly peeling it off. So.. I want another opinion.

So, my father was abusive growing up. I have been able to forgive him for this. We have a better relationship than we once did. He cheats on my mother. I caught him a few years back with one woman. I told my sister’s about what I had found out. They were initially appalled. Then they talked to him. I was told it was “not as bad as I thought” that mom knew abd it would never happen again. I was told not to bring it up with mom. I got the message loud and clear. My mother is not dumb. She has caught him in lies in front of me. At first she is angry and asks questions. Then she comes up with the excuses FOR HIM. My mother has always put hinge above all, including us. She didn’t protect us from him, we would be yelled at, for “making him angry enough”. I have forgiven then both, I love my mother with all my heart. She is the only person in the world I love as much as my children, not even my husband. He still cheats, with another woman. They was another in between. He is basically doing it right in front of everyone. I honestly think it is wreaking more havoc on my life, and my emotions than those involved. Even my own relationship with my husband. For this I can’t forgive him. He has her total love and devotion, and he doesn’t deserve it. But even if I were to tell my mother. I am sincerely concerned, no, scared to death, that she would call me a liar just to protect him and her ignorant bliss. I couldn’t stomach the thought of losing her. So what do I do? This consumes my thoughts on a regular basis. Like I think about it at least once a day. How do I move on and find my own happiness?

we learn together it started like a rush first then one day while talking he asked me out on a coffee date we went out after that things went well slept together after two week dating we meet up almost every day talked to see where it goes but in the middle i realized i can not have a future with him so told him to be friends he agreed but the next time we meet up in person we ended up sleeping together again …but after that while we talking told him after now on the meeting is only possible if we could stay friend only he agreed and said we be friends not to worry is it possible for us to stay friends?

So there’s this girl who I hooked up with once in middle school, and ever since I’ve found her pretty attractive. Throughout high school we’re nice and friendly to each other, but nothing has happened. I don’t want to start anything serious with her, but before I go to college in the fall, I’m interested in hooking up with her again.

Now, the day of my graduation, we were talking, and she was being very open about her sex life. Like, very happy to talk about it. I’m not so experienced myself, and she made it very clear to me, in a casual way, that she gets plenty from this boy toy of hers. They aren’t together, just fuckbuddies. She then had an epiphany and remembered about when we hooked up in middle school. I had never brought it up since it first happened, and I feel like she was faking not remembering it. I had remembered since it happened. So I feel like, if she’s bringing it up, there could be a reason. Long story short, before I left to walk to the grad ceremony, I felt like she was interested and/or leading me on.

Since then, I’ve messaged her asking if she wants to hang out before we leave for school. The first two times were when I had some drinks in Europe, when she didn’t respond. When I got home, I sent another message saying “Hey, how’ve you been lately? It’s been a while. Oh and I’m sober and in America now, so this isn’t some drunk late night message from Europe”. She responded with “Haha thank you for clarifying :)”. We’ve sent a few more messages back and forth, being friendly and all that. Then I said that, if she would be down, I’d like to hang out with her before we leave for school. She said “Yeah! When do you leave to go to school?” and I asked when she leaves to move in.

Now there hasn’t been a response, but I’ve been thinking, if she doesn’t say anything back, do I take the risk and just explain why I’ve been messaging her. Not in a crude and man-slutty way, but just saying something along the lines of “I’m just going to be completely honest. I’ve found you attractive throughout high school and I want to give what we did in middle school another shot”. Again, with more finesse, but you get the idea. I’m just thinking that, since we will be hundreds of miles away from each other, and it’s my last shot, what could go wrong. She either says yes, no, or doesn’t respond, and none of those events would really upset me. I just want to lay it on the line, and be frank, because I feel like I’m beating around the bush and it’s not getting me anywhere. I don’t think she would use it to embarrass me, because she hasn’t told anyone about us getting with each other before (I would probably hear about it through my four years in high school).

Anyway, what do you all think I should do? Risk it? Stop altogether? Help me out here, because while I’ve gotten with a few girls before, and had a few girlfriends, I want to give this a shot but I don’t have any experience with handling this sort of thing through messaging. If it were in person, I’d probably have hooked up with her already or gotten a hard no and not be worrying about it anymore. Please give me any advice you think is important, thanks!

So ive been talking and hanging out with this girl for a few months now and i cant seem to figure out whether or not shes into me. During some of the times we’ve talked and hung out she seems totally into me while the other time it seems she couldnt give a shit about me. Im putting this up now cause its gotten a lot worse to the point where she wont respond to any of my messages. I have friends who have told me that she posts things on tumblr like she “acts like she doesnt care but thinks about him every day”. Am i just overreacting or whats up? i honestly care about this girl so much and have shown nothing but love for her since we’ve started talking. I havent done anything behind her back or anything that would cause this, should i ask her about it or just continue trying to reach her the way i am now? i think giving up isnt so much of an option. Any advice is appreciated.

I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for the past (almost) 2 years. I’m 28 and she’s 25 this year. Like all relationships, we have had our fair share of ups and downs, but we’ve always managed to talk about things. We’re both adventurous people, and every time we travelled, we’ve aimed to do something adventurous together.

Throughout the relationship, I’ve not been controlling and have never made a fuss when she hangs out with her guy friends. On the other hand, she used to be quite affected whenever I hung out with my female friends, and especially affected when it’s my ex-girlfriend. Nonetheless, regardless of whether we quarrel over it or not, we managed to resolve it.

The one thing that I haven’t been able to join her in is diving as I have not picked up that skill yet. I was supposed to learn it earlier this year in March, but due to a change in jobs, I was not able to. However, I will definitely learn it next year and it’s something we’ve talked about. She has been saying that she’d go ahead for diving and doesn’t want to wait for me, to which I’ve always said she should.

Recently, she went for a dive trip with another female friend, and made a lot of new friends during the trip. Ever since the trip, she’s been hanging out with these new friends a lot and have done some activities with them that’s not diving-related.

I’m not sure if it’s just me being insecure and crazy, or if something has changed in her. The past couple of weeks has been difficult for us, she’s been saying I’m suddenly become more controlling, while I’ve been saying that something has changed in her. We had a long talk the other day to resolve issues, but at the end of the day, sometimes something still triggers me and I don’t feel like I can trust her as much as I once used to.

I don’t know why but I keep feeling that her feelings for me has changed, although she insists otherwise. There’s just a lot of little subtleties that hit me really hard. Recently I feel like I’m always the backup. She tires herself out with activities on the weekdays, and spends the weekends with me sleeping at my place. It’s like I’m a safe home for her to return to, but not the fun go-to person.

At the moment, here’s the situation:
– She’s still somewhat honest, she does tell where she’s going and who she’s going with. I said “somewhat” because she always seems to not tell the full story.
– She seems very close to this new group of friends, and for the first time I am uncomfortable.
– I am having issues trusting her, although I can’t exactly pinpoint why.
– I don’t know if I should walk away and give her the “freedom” she so desires. I really love her, see a future with her, and don’t want to wrong her. I really want to believe that love should be free, but it’s hard when there’s a lack of trust.
– I don’t understand why she can’t see that after our recent issues, it takes a bit of time to rebuild things. She’s acting like nothing ever happened. On the other hand, I may be too sensitive.
– I have been sacrificing all my travel time for her, and it’s sad because she’s not doing the same. I know I’m being selfish but I feel left out.
– It’s getting increasingly hard to talk about issues with her because it’s beginning to feel like that’s all we’re talking about recently.

Thank you for reading this :).

Im 17 years old, me and my girlfriend recently went on a break for a month, within that month i traded nude pics and videos with a 13 year old (it was very wrong i know) But i am now back with my girlfriend and if she knew she’d be disgusted in me. But should i tell her? I fell like im keeping something from her but i dont want her to look at me weird or cause an arguement. During the break me and my girlfriend wasnt talking at all and i didnt think we would talk ever again. What should i do? confess or keep the past in the past?

Ok so I have a huge dilemma

Until last year I had been in an abusive marriage for 20 years. I planned an escape and one of my very very long-time friends (a guy, let’s call him Mac) helped me through the ordeal. Once I was settled in a women’s shelter, I had no contact with him – he was also in a relationship (although short-term) at the time.

Now a year has gone by and after separation, legal proceedings and lots of other hassles, I find myself finally settling down in life – I still have some way to go, but I’m ready to pick myself up and start living life again. Mac (now single) was in contact with me recently and we met up for dinner with a few other friends, we had a lot of catching up to do, and I still had not thanked him for all he had helped me through. We’ve got a few more outings with friends planned for the next few weeks, so I should be seeing him again quite soon.

My dilemma is this – I had never thought of Mac in ANY romantic way whatsoever, but now I find myself thinking about him quite often, in quite a romantic way! Only problem is that he is 10 years younger than me. I have thought long and hard about certain implications, such as me potentially not being able to give him what he might want in life (such as a family of his own, since I’m soon approaching menopause). I don’t want to waste his time if he wants to find someone younger to start a family with etc etc etc. Also, I have a child of my own, and although they get along like a house on fire, he might not want to be burdened with such a responsibility. In a nutshell, I don’t want to impose myself in his life if he has other life goals.

I’ve been told by my sister that it is presumptuous of me to decide for him, and he might want to be with me after all, but I still don’t even know if he has any interest! I obviously don’t want to ask him myself, because if there is no interest, I don’t want to make our great friendship awkward. I want to let things run their natural course, but at the same time I want to hint to him that I’d be open to the idea of starting something slowly.

I feel like a teenager again lol! I truly don’t know what to do!