I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for the past (almost) 2 years. I’m 28 and she’s 25 this year. Like all relationships, we have had our fair share of ups and downs, but we’ve always managed to talk about things. We’re both adventurous people, and every time we travelled, we’ve aimed to do something adventurous together.
Throughout the relationship, I’ve not been controlling and have never made a fuss when she hangs out with her guy friends. On the other hand, she used to be quite affected whenever I hung out with my female friends, and especially affected when it’s my ex-girlfriend. Nonetheless, regardless of whether we quarrel over it or not, we managed to resolve it.
The one thing that I haven’t been able to join her in is diving as I have not picked up that skill yet. I was supposed to learn it earlier this year in March, but due to a change in jobs, I was not able to. However, I will definitely learn it next year and it’s something we’ve talked about. She has been saying that she’d go ahead for diving and doesn’t want to wait for me, to which I’ve always said she should.
Recently, she went for a dive trip with another female friend, and made a lot of new friends during the trip. Ever since the trip, she’s been hanging out with these new friends a lot and have done some activities with them that’s not diving-related.
I’m not sure if it’s just me being insecure and crazy, or if something has changed in her. The past couple of weeks has been difficult for us, she’s been saying I’m suddenly become more controlling, while I’ve been saying that something has changed in her. We had a long talk the other day to resolve issues, but at the end of the day, sometimes something still triggers me and I don’t feel like I can trust her as much as I once used to.
I don’t know why but I keep feeling that her feelings for me has changed, although she insists otherwise. There’s just a lot of little subtleties that hit me really hard. Recently I feel like I’m always the backup. She tires herself out with activities on the weekdays, and spends the weekends with me sleeping at my place. It’s like I’m a safe home for her to return to, but not the fun go-to person.
At the moment, here’s the situation:
– She’s still somewhat honest, she does tell where she’s going and who she’s going with. I said “somewhat” because she always seems to not tell the full story.
– She seems very close to this new group of friends, and for the first time I am uncomfortable.
– I am having issues trusting her, although I can’t exactly pinpoint why.
– I don’t know if I should walk away and give her the “freedom” she so desires. I really love her, see a future with her, and don’t want to wrong her. I really want to believe that love should be free, but it’s hard when there’s a lack of trust.
– I don’t understand why she can’t see that after our recent issues, it takes a bit of time to rebuild things. She’s acting like nothing ever happened. On the other hand, I may be too sensitive.
– I have been sacrificing all my travel time for her, and it’s sad because she’s not doing the same. I know I’m being selfish but I feel left out.
– It’s getting increasingly hard to talk about issues with her because it’s beginning to feel like that’s all we’re talking about recently.
Thank you for reading this :).