I have been in a 3 month relationship now with someone who my parents do not like. I’m 19 and in college, but currently hating it because the classes are too big, im not doing good in school, and I just cannot live with girls anymore. My boyfriend is moving out of state to be with his mom and dad again who are willing to take me in. I have been looking into transferring schools for awhile now because all my friends are out of state getting a great experience and I’m not enjoying mine. My parents have been putting me through college, but if I move out of state I don’t think they will be helping me out. I have always wanted to say that I was able to put myself through college and I think that is a major accomplishment I could have because I don’t think I have had such a big accomplishment like that. My parents don’t like him because they think he is just using me, but I don’t see it. He goes out of his way to take care of me and make sure I’m okay. He is also willing to help me out financially in any way possible to make sure my dreams do come true. He does have depression, but he has been diagnosed and i have been helping him out too. We both make each other happy and I don’t see why my parents can see that. They say they want the best for me and so does he. And they need a decision very soon, but I want other people’s opinions on this situation too. I’ve also put people’s happiness in front of mine and I know either way I’m going to make someone unhappy. Please just help me by saying what you think of the situation. Thank you.

So this guy has liked me for like 6 years. I never thought of him like that since he’s really different from me and quite a bit older (he’s 21, I’m almost 19), but we’ve been friends. The other day he asked me to help buy his mom a present. He treated it like a date and I actually had a lot of fun. I don’t know how I feel about him but he asked to go out again. I don’t know what to do. Should I give him a chance?
I should also mention that I have really bad anxiety especially when it comes to letting people down and figuring out my feelings and things like that.

We had a very simple friendship, which I liked.. but we hooked up and now things are confusing. I know that neither of us want a relationship (at least I don’t think he does). He told me that things wouldn’t be awkward, and things would just go back to normal, but I think I may have screwed that up because the first time I saw him since we hooked up, I curved him so bad and I think he has the idea that I didn’t enjoy what we did.. but really, I was just too embarrassed to face him. What do you guys think? and how should I fix this? Also, we don’t really have that deep talk type of relationship so I think it’d be hard to just straight up talk to him..

I was with this man for four years. From day one he lied, hid things from me, let other people run me down. His son is 21, he lied on me, went and got his mom, she attacked me, had to take her to court. My boyfriend would not go to court with me. Said his back was hurting. His mother told him I was trying to keep his son away from him. I was in the house and heard the conversation. My boyfriends dad is the only one that did not take up for his grandson. He knew he would lie. The only thing my boyfriend did was tell his son that he was wrong for what he did. I helped his son get a car. I helped my boyfriend get out of his mom’s house, move back into his trailer, helped get the lights on, a new hot water heater, new floors, heat and air. New ceiling in living room and kitchen. Helped him get two cars, clothes and bought stuff for the house. Got two lawyers to try and help him get his license back. Bought him a phone and put it on my plan. His sister has this girl she hangs around. She is a loud mouth and loves to drink. She likes to get all over men to. My son is handicapped, she tried him, when he resisted her, she threatened to cut him. I told my boyfriend about it, he would not believe it. Then she came to his house one night, I was there, I was looking right at her, she grabs my boyfriends head and buries it in her chest. I got him outside confronted him. Then when she gets ready to leave he seeks up to her and hugs her, he thought I was in the bathroom. I jumped on him. I thought she was gone she comes back another time and gets started with me, he does nothing. Then this Saturday she comes, she was running her mouth and I walk in. I confront him, he tells me to wash and go to bed. The last straw was Tuesday when I found he had been calling others, but told me he could not use his phone only on break and lunch time. I told him las night I was through, and I was cutting the phone off. He said he has done nothing wrong. He also owes me a lot of money. I told him the only time I will see him is when he has my money. I feel like a fool. I never want to try again.

Well i have a very complicated situation and now have run out of ideas, patients and more or less everything.

I have been with my husband for 4 years we married just over 2.5 years ago. We had a arranged marriage but we did date for 5 months before we decided to get engaged it was not forced it was a mutual decision. With all parties happy.

So what happened … well i grew very close to him quite quick and felt like he understood me and understand my flaws we used to talk a lot before. I had a childhood trauma which i opened up about to him before we made any decisions because i didn’t not want him to get into something he didn’t want. Just like every other relationship we made promises to be there for each other and understand and protect and he said he wanted me to be happy ect.

Then we got married… What then happened was his mother started playing a evil game against me. The very next day she decided that she didn’t want to take part in any of the wedding functions and told me to my face alone and told me to cover for her. So me thinking see testing me ect i did i covered for her and handled everything on my own. Then we went on the honey moon and the husband was not there with me he was there physically but he didn’t care he was lazy and didn’t care about how i felt or what i wanted. I tried to do all the things he would want to keep I’m happy but there was very little he wanted to do. Our intimacy ended within those 2 weeks. I lied to everyone and myself and tried to believe it was okay and it will get better. Then we came back and his family started to ignore me and hide when ever i walked into the house from work. They told my husband that he was financially cut loose from the family. He had worked in the family business for 4 years never got paid and he did another job in theweekedays and they kept all of his money and he never got a dime. He was told he wasn’t good enough for anything and that he couldn’t got to university because it was going to be a waste. He never told me them things before we got married. His father pretended to be my friend and i started to get very ill when i was living with them in the house hold. The mother in law stopped giving me hot water so i had cold water to use in december when it was snowing outside. The doctors told me my blood had thickened and was dangerous i was put on medication but the mother in law said to us that she thought i was lying to them and that there was nothing wrong with me. She also said i was not allowed to go to the hospital as she thought we went out partying midday. Well then she went behind my back stole money from my bags that my family had given to me. She also went through my clothes and everything me and her son had on a daily basis. The father in law stared sending me abusive text messages and whilst we lived in the same house we were singled out. She created a misunderstanding between me and the husband and then when we both realised and were trying to resolve the matter we got into a heated conversation in the house alone and my husband got really confused and thought i was leaving him in the house alone so he stared shouting and told me to leave. So as i was leaving the mother in law grabbed my arm and tried to pull me around i got very upset requested for her to leave my arm but she wouldn’t so i shouted and said please leave my arm alone. I went back o my parents house and stayed there. My mother in law thought i was going to tell my dad so she called him up and behind our backs told him that it was my fault ect ect and put my dad against me. By then i had already told my mother with what was going on bt before she could tell him the mother in law told him her version. Then my mum and dad for the 1st time in my life infant of me started fighting and picking sides and threatening divorce to each other because they were on the opposite sides trying to fix my marriage. With all f that going on my husband tried to make things up and made more promises and with everything going on i went back with him. From that day onwards his family stopped talking to him. They within 3 weeks told us that we were no longer wanted there and told us to leave the house. We tried to save up but it was hard with all the money and gold that i had been stolen and kept by the mother in law. She said to my husband no matter what happens you 2 will get divorced and you will come back running to me no matter what.
So we left the house because they had stopped the hot water again and moved in with my parents. Saved money, then the families had a talk and they gave half of his earnings back to him and with the money i had we bought a house. By this time i did not have time to think about our relationship or change or fix anything because i did not know if there were the problems or if they were what the mother in law had created or just due to the circumstances. But the day we moved into the house i was hurt broken and lost. Everything i was told was a lie and all the promises he made were broken. I felt betrayed by him and his family, and i explained this too him. By now all the talking in the relationships, giving up everything loosing my self respect and image was all done by me. He never once had said anything to his family or me or anything he just sat there quietly like things will sort out themselves. But then i tried to think loosing a family might be hurting him went and apologised for things i never did and said its okay to have a relationship with them even if they don’t want me to be a part of it i will step back no problem. He didn’t want to fix anything with them or me at this stage. Then kept bugging him he made a effort with his family but the mother and the family kept closing the door back on him. He then told me not to tell him to try so i stopped.
But then all we did for the next 1.5 years is live with each other like were house mates. We didn’t talk much had nothing to say was not very intimate with each other or anything. So like usual i tried to spice things up and make things interesting but it all felt like it was a one way street. I eventually got tiered and gave up as it made no difference to him. I then one day realised that he was watching porn every other day and who i spoke to him about this in a casual way he said that it was nothing big and ignored everything else and went to sleep. I felt so hurt and betrayed because of the way he reacted i have no problem with it but then it crossed my ind that I’m not good enough, or if i was doing something wrong ect ect. I then tried hard to get close to him but realised he preferred to plesure himself. This then ended up being intimate 1/2 times in 2 months and one time when i asked him if he had been watching porn the day before or something he lied straight to my face and said he didn’t when he did. Since then nothing is the same. I don’t feel attached to him, when he is inmate its like his having to be and he doesn’t seem like like to have normal sex but prefers oral only. When I’ve tried he falls asleep when i was trying to get him aroused.
The situation now is that i broke couple weeks ago and told him everything openly. He says he wants to change and he has been trying i can eel it but for me it feels like his going to go back to being the way he was. Like in the past i have said to him this is the problem ect he never did anything about it ever and when he said he would things change for a week or 2 and then go back the old ways again. This time I’ve said i will give a chance but I’m finding it hard to i can’t stop thinking every second and moment that he’s going to go back the old ways, He might be intimate now but that because he thinks he has to be and then he won’t. It is so hard i don’t know what to do….

I have told him we need to operate because this isn’t working at all… but he said that I’m the only thing he has left in this world and that he loves me a lot.

I think he does and i do to but he never behaved like a husband and now i just love him as a friend and can’t love him as a husband. Its so hard i want that love and intimacy and closeness and i never got it one time from him in 2 years. We have no good moments in the last 2 years to think and hold on to. I take the financial stress and running the house hold and feel very lonely and sad. I have had 2 panic attack / nervous breakdowns in the last 4 months because i feel like this is what my life will be and it makes me very sad to think that this is it for me. I feel like i have hit a brick wall and thats it. Im expected to live without the love and intimacy and deal with all the problems alone. If anyone who likes me or thinks that I’m worth something talks to me i get so overwhelmed with the feelings and attention that makes me pitty myself and my situation. I was so confident and strong and now I’m the exact opposite. Its like all of this has dragged me down and I’m left with nothing.

pleaseeee if you have any ideas or think of anything that might help please comment.

Thanks.

A bit of context: I’ve always been the nice guy. I mean that in the sense that I like seeing the people around me happy. I connect better with women, so most of my close friends are comprised of women.

I’m in my senior year in college, and many of my friends that are women find me as sort of the “safe” guy. The guy they hug, snuggle up next to, and are just overall overly affectionate. I don’t mind it, but it has given me a muddled perspective of flirting and romantic encounters.

I met this really nice girl recently. A lot of similar interests between us in a lot of weird places. She’s funny, I think she’s beautiful, all that jazz. But recently I’ve been kind of… confused. She’s super affectionate with me when we’re together. She leans on me, curls up next to me when we hang out, we link arms when either of us are too drunk, etc.

But for me, that isn’t much different from what other girls who have NOT been interested in me have done. There are women– friends– that I’ve made out with and done a lot more romantic things with. And this girl (we’ll call her Darsey) hasn’t really done anything out of the ordinary that I can tell that would make me assume she had a thing for me.

She’s always busy, so I don’t get a lot of time with her. When I do, we can’t really get time alone because she lives with one of my friends. I’ve always been deathly afraid of rejection, so this is probably part of my paranoia. I know this probably seems like a pretty childish concern, but I haven’t had much experience with relationships and my confidence is just about at rock bottom. So I guess I just kinda was looking for that extra push in the right direction.

Thanks for your time and words!

I’ve been dating a guy for almost two years. Everything was great up until about 4 months ago. He’s been mean to me and very aggressive. He’s not abusive by any means but he’s just not the same person he used to be. He still does nice things for me and we get along some of the time.. About two or three weeks ago he broke up with me because he was tired of all the fighting. The next night we got back together and for two days we were happy and great. But after that it went back to the same old stuff.. While all of this is going on there is this guy that I see everyday and He is my BestFriend. We talk about everything. he recently told me he loves me and wants to be with me. I know I have feelings for him too. But I also still love my boyfriend. I’m just not sure what to do at this point..

My boyfriend of several years got incredibly angry when my longtime friend kissed me on the mouth when she was very drunk (by ‘ON the mouth’ I mean just that- we’re not talking deep tongue kissing here). In the past I have also kissed her on the mouth. I’m actually surprised it only happened in front of him recently. She has been with her man for >10 years and he’s seen one of us kiss the other- both on the mouth and on the cheek- loads of times. It didn’t occur to me as wrong because it’s never been done with any kind of romantic intention.
My reaction to him being upset was to say I was honestly surprised he found it shocking since he is both Italian and Spanish and don’t they kiss their friends sometimes? Yeah- wrong response/I’m stereotyping/they ONLY kiss on the cheek (so he tells me- idk- pop culture says otherwise)/I’m not Italian or Spanish so it still isn’t the same anyway- and I get that. My point was that in my own possibly culturally ignorant mind, this was not something I expected him to take as anything other than an expression of close friendship. It’s not like it even occurred to me to hide it.
Well, obviously he was concerned and alarmed- and I did say I was sorry he was hurt by what I perceived to be an entirely innocuous action. I even agreed to not do that/let that happen again now that I know how it affects him. But he intends to never go to a gathering at their place ever again unless I’m NOT going… because I always get ‘drunk and crazy’ when I’m over there and he doesn’t like to see me like that.
Look- I have been very drunk and a little freewheeling in the past- at my friend’s place and elsewhere (hey, I was single). I also lived with her at times so even without any sexual, romantic, or …borderline (I guess that’s what it is?) conduct, you just KNOW there were a few nights when I was not shining my brightest. I don’t see any of that as being the case since he and I have been together (maybe he disagrees?), definitely not the case here, and it’s not even like this friend is someone I’ve ever dated or had a fling with. If that were the case, I’d at least understand the concern.
He says that every single person he has spoken to agrees that it is both disrespectful and borderline cheating, and at the very least not normal behavior. I’ve never pretended to be entirely normal but now I’m wondering… just how insensitive to the relationship or crazy am I actually being here?Does anyone else see where he’s coming from and/or see where I’m coming from? I feel like never seeing these people simultaneously as a couple is a harsh over-reaction, but maybe I’m the one missing something?