Should I give him a chance?

So this guy has liked me for like 6 years. I never thought of him like that since heís really different from me and quite a bit older (heís 21, Iím almost 19), but weíve been friends. The other day he asked me to help buy his mom a present. He treated it like a date and I actually had a lot of fun. I donít know how I feel about him but he asked to go out again. I donít know what to do. Should I give him a chance?
I should also mention that I have really bad anxiety especially when it comes to letting people down and figuring out my feelings and things like that.

2 thoughts on “Should I give him a chance?

  1. Dennis Hong says:

    [I feel like you have two separate things to consider her:

    1) If you had fun with him… sure, why not give him a chance. Feelings can change. You don’t have to know how you feel about him. You just have to see that there might be potential there. And it seems like you do.

    Then again….

    2) Given your anxiety, this will be easier said than done, but also keep in mind that you have to look out for yourself first and foremost. Take time to consider your feelings. That’s great. But it’s not your concern if your feelings (or lack thereof) end up letting him down.

    In other words, don’t give him a chance just because you feel bad for him. You’re only going to set him up for disappointment and probably make it harder to end things in the long run if you do that.

    In a nutshell: Make sure you separate your feelings from your desire not to let him down. If you think you like him, do it! If you think you just feel sorry for him, don’t do it!

  2. Missy says:

    [the aside you left at the end of your post is huge. anxiety can rule us (for those of us who experience it), so don’t underestimate the effect that can have on your decisions.

    i think they are two separate things for different reasons than maybe dennis does (though dennis point is wholly valid as well). it DOES sound like you had fun and maybe have interest in this guy. that’s awesome! the caveat is that anxiety can sometimes trump feelings. i get that, too. it’s probably more to do with how you feel letting someone down, than your fear of how that person actually feels in that same moment.

    at the end of the day, people are pretty resilient. he’ll be ok if you go out again and decide he’s not for you. just don’t be afraid to tell him. i know it’s hard, but it is freeing, too.

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