BF upset over a platonic kiss from a friend- am I the crazy one?

My boyfriend of several years got incredibly angry when my longtime friend kissed me on the mouth when she was very drunk (by ‘ON the mouth’ I mean just that- we’re not talking deep tongue kissing here). In the past I have also kissed her on the mouth. I’m actually surprised it only happened in front of him recently. She has been with her man for >10 years and he’s seen one of us kiss the other- both on the mouth and on the cheek- loads of times. It didn’t occur to me as wrong because it’s never been done with any kind of romantic intention.
My reaction to him being upset was to say I was honestly surprised he found it shocking since he is both Italian and Spanish and don’t they kiss their friends sometimes? Yeah- wrong response/I’m stereotyping/they ONLY kiss on the cheek (so he tells me- idk- pop culture says otherwise)/I’m not Italian or Spanish so it still isn’t the same anyway- and I get that. My point was that in my own possibly culturally ignorant mind, this was not something I expected him to take as anything other than an expression of close friendship. It’s not like it even occurred to me to hide it.
Well, obviously he was concerned and alarmed- and I did say I was sorry he was hurt by what I perceived to be an entirely innocuous action. I even agreed to not do that/let that happen again now that I know how it affects him. But he intends to never go to a gathering at their place ever again unless I’m NOT going… because I always get ‘drunk and crazy’ when I’m over there and he doesn’t like to see me like that.
Look- I have been very drunk and a little freewheeling in the past- at my friend’s place and elsewhere (hey, I was single). I also lived with her at times so even without any sexual, romantic, or …borderline (I guess that’s what it is?) conduct, you just KNOW there were a few nights when I was not shining my brightest. I don’t see any of that as being the case since he and I have been together (maybe he disagrees?), definitely not the case here, and it’s not even like this friend is someone I’ve ever dated or had a fling with. If that were the case, I’d at least understand the concern.
He says that every single person he has spoken to agrees that it is both disrespectful and borderline cheating, and at the very least not normal behavior. I’ve never pretended to be entirely normal but now I’m wondering… just how insensitive to the relationship or crazy am I actually being here?Does anyone else see where he’s coming from and/or see where I’m coming from? I feel like never seeing these people simultaneously as a couple is a harsh over-reaction, but maybe I’m the one missing something?

2 thoughts on “BF upset over a platonic kiss from a friend- am I the crazy one?

  1. resullins says:

    [Hmmm…. this is a tough one. You say that he was shocked because this one happened in front of him, but then go on to say that “he’s seen one of us kiss the other- both on the mouth and on the cheek- loads of times.” Which makes me think that the offending kiss had more to it than you’re letting on. Because if he’s seen it before, “loads of times,” but is just now getting pissed, there’s a variable you’re omitting here, and I kind of feel like that might be the important part here.

    I feel like you’re presenting this in a way that requires us to side with you, while selectively leaving out some key facts.

    • PetiteSauvage says:

      [Sorry that was confusing. When I said ‘he’s seen one of us kiss the other…loads of times,” I meant my FRIEND’S partner had seen that- not MY bf. I guess because her guy never had a problem with it, it didn’t really occur to me that mine would. I was really not trying to present it in any particular way- but I can see how that part would seem a little confusing. Hope that cleared that part up. If there’s any other variable you feel like I might be leaving out- just ask. I was trying to be thorough, but obviously sometimes things get mixed up when you’re writing a whole long personal spiel.

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