“Is it considered sexual assault?”

This might get a bit long but I had a fwb relationship with someone I got along with fairly well this past summer. We had a fight over something insignificant but he stopped talking to me without any explanation. I tried to make up with him but he just never talked to me. I hadn’t seen him in 5 months and I felt like he threw me away. He was sometimes really selfish and he would never reciprocate in the bedroom or bother to think about how I was feeling and often complained that I took up space in his single bed. He also made mean comments towards the end of the relationship.

Two days ago he suddenly messaged me telling me he was feeling awful. He got rejected by a girl. We ended up having a deep talk about how he relied too much on women to ease his loneliness for a while and he acknowledged that he caused me a lot of pain. However he said the reason he stopped talking to me wasn’t the fight, it was because he saw my flaws and thought I was really annoying. However, right after saying that he asked me to comfort him and to come to his house the next day. I was worried about him so I did.

Our mutual friend was with us and the three of us had fun drinking together. The friend went home and I stayed at his house. I wasn’t expecting sex, he had just said he relied too much on women, but in the end that was what happened. Now the real problem comes in: technically I am a virgin. I cannot insert anything without a ton of pain so I work around it with mostly only doing foreplay. He tried to get inside me, which at first I didn’t mind because I was hoping maybe it would be ok this time. It hurt so much I was ready to cry and I told him to stop, but for a while he wouldn’t. He eventually did but everything he did was way too rough with me and he would ignore the pain I was in and eventually he would try again. It felt like it was only about his pleasure and none of mine. He wouldn’t even look at me or kiss me. He asked me to turn off the lights. I really don’t know what to make of it or what to do…do I talk to him about it? I know what he did was wrong but is it considered sexual assault? I’m feeling very lost here.


“I’m a virgin and want to have sex and date”

Hello, I’m 19 and here’s my issue. I’m a junior college student who never had a girlfriend in his life, and is a virgin. I’ve been working hard, but now I feel somehow, it’s like I need to have sex, but İ feel that if I do so, I will regret it, in that I won’t focus anymore in classes, and won’t perform very well anymore.

I’m shy, but I do have many female friends. I’m a Christian, so it’s not good for me, if I can say so, to watch porn. But to ease my desire to have sex, İ watch porn and masturbate, but I feel like it aggravates the situation and I can’t stop doing those things… Sorry if you’re getting uncomfortable… I just want to say the whole truth.

What do I need to do? Have sex with a girl ASAP or hold myself back with all those desires until I graduate, and still wonder how I can satisfy myself with not many girls around as in school. What’s the best thing to do? I’m rather timid, and I don’t know what to do anymore. Being a hard worker is good in the workforce, but not with a girl, and İ have no idea how to deal with girls, especially when it comes to dating and having sex. What should I do? Again, sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable. Thank you in advance.


“It’s her first time and I want to make it special for her”

I’m 16 right now and I need advice. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 8 and a half months. We haven’t made love yet, but I can tell she wants to . As a matter of fact she even told me she did, but we haven’t yet.

I know it’s her first time, so how do I make it special for her? I love her with all my heart and I would love it if I could have this be the most memorable moment… any ideas beside the usual candles and rose petals??

“He wants a friends with benefits relationship”

I’m 15, I’ve been talking to this guy that goes to my school. We are friends but we flirt a lot and talk about wanting to be more than friends. Neither of us want a relationship and he wants a “friends with benefits” type of thing which I am really on the fence about.

I really like him and I want to have that with him but I am a virgin and he isn’t. I wouldn’t mind losing it to him it’s just I have feelings for him and I don’t really think he has feelings for me. I want this type of relationship with him where we hang out and talk and have sex but not date. But if we have sex and he doesn’t want to continue this or just stops talking to me after a while or something. I would be super upset because I really like him. Basically I want to, but I don’t want to get hurt and there are a lot of ways this could end badly. What do I do?

“I’m 25 years old and I’ve never had sex”

I want to but I’m so socially awkward that I push away anyone who’s interested. The only guys I’ve ever kissed were those who surprised me. I’m mad at myself that I didn’t let it get further with the first guy when I was 16. I was drunk, he was experienced and I had a big crush on him.

Now, nine years later, I’m still a virgin. I want to have sex and for the first time in my life and I’m trying to seriously date someone (I met online). He’s nice but there is absolutely no attraction. There are guys I am attracted to (I feel like there are more of them ever since I started dating) but none of them would notice me, and if they did their confidence would probably make me run the other way. I don’t know if I would feel more comfortable around men if I had sex.

Am I shallow for wanting to have sex with someone I actually find attractive instead of a guy I feel comfortable taking to but have no desire to even kiss? I feel like the longer I wait the less likely it is that I will ever have sex with anyone. I wish I could just get drunk and lose my virginity that way but I have never been drunk enough to actually go through with it.

“He sounds so clingy and insecure”

I am 23 years old and have started talking to this guy who is 20. We met off a dating website (I know, I know, that’s why I’m second-guessing). We’re both virgins (well, I am for sure — he has told me via text that he is also a virgin — he said that before I told him about me being a virgin). He also said he hasn’t done anything with a girl before. I am also a very independent female who has done a little with a guy, but not the full event.

Anyway, from when we started talking, we have talked every day. He constantly tells me everything — when he’s going to shower, when he’s going to the gym, at the gym, leaving the gym, having a shake or a tea, and when he is having a nap.

Yeah, all the flirting and teasing is all fun, although I’m still second-guessing, as now he tells me he  misses me already” when we don’t talk for a day or something. And he said he had his cousin there, but just wanted him gone, as he felt bad for “putting me on hold,” and asked if he could call me “babe.” Continue reading

“He offered me money to do sexy things with him”

I’ve arranged to meet with someone online and do sexy things with him. But I’m still a virgin and kinda want my first time to be special. This man is 49, whereas I’m nearly 18. He has offered me £150 to do just low-level sexy things with him for 2-3 hours. Now I could really do with that money with Christmas coming up and all that jazz, and 150 is a good amount to spend on friends and family. I’m just not sure if i really want to do this, but the money aspect is very alluring. Any advice?

“My boyfriend is only using me for sex”

My boyfriend and I have been together for one-and-a-half years. He was my first time and ever since that first time, we usually have sex a lot. It seems like that’s all he ever wants. We’ve tried everything — anal, bj, missionary, different sex positions. We’ve run out of options and now I just feel like a porn star.

His favorite is anal, and it’s not comfortable for me, but if I don’t ever want it, he just gets upset about it. He’ll get upset if I don’t know anything new to try, but how can I? I was a virgin before him, he thinks we don’t have enough sex, but usually we’ll have it 4-5 times a week. I used to be so into it, but now he just wants to get in and get out. I have to use lube just to get started. Now because he won’t have foreplay with me anymore, he thinks its a chore to turn me on. He just wants to do it. Continue reading