“Is it considered sexual assault?”

This might get a bit long but I had a fwb relationship with someone I got along with fairly well this past summer. We had a fight over something insignificant but he stopped talking to me without any explanation. I tried to make up with him but he just never talked to me. I hadn’t seen him in 5 months and I felt like he threw me away. He was sometimes really selfish and he would never reciprocate in the bedroom or bother to think about how I was feeling and often complained that I took up space in his single bed. He also made mean comments towards the end of the relationship.

Two days ago he suddenly messaged me telling me he was feeling awful. He got rejected by a girl. We ended up having a deep talk about how he relied too much on women to ease his loneliness for a while and he acknowledged that he caused me a lot of pain. However he said the reason he stopped talking to me wasn’t the fight, it was because he saw my flaws and thought I was really annoying. However, right after saying that he asked me to comfort him and to come to his house the next day. I was worried about him so I did.

Our mutual friend was with us and the three of us had fun drinking together. The friend went home and I stayed at his house. I wasn’t expecting sex, he had just said he relied too much on women, but in the end that was what happened. Now the real problem comes in: technically I am a virgin. I cannot insert anything without a ton of pain so I work around it with mostly only doing foreplay. He tried to get inside me, which at first I didn’t mind because I was hoping maybe it would be ok this time. It hurt so much I was ready to cry and I told him to stop, but for a while he wouldn’t. He eventually did but everything he did was way too rough with me and he would ignore the pain I was in and eventually he would try again. It felt like it was only about his pleasure and none of mine. He wouldn’t even look at me or kiss me. He asked me to turn off the lights. I really don’t know what to make of it or what to do…do I talk to him about it? I know what he did was wrong but is it considered sexual assault? I’m feeling very lost here.

 

2 thoughts on ““Is it considered sexual assault?”

  1. Anonymous says:

    You told him to stop and he did not. It was sexual assault. You need professional counseling for both emotional and legal reasons and I urge you to talk to one as soon as you can.

  2. HikingWoman says:

    It is. Just like the other person says above…. I would get help and know that anytime someone doesn’t stop, it is okay to speak up, say it louder, and walk out if you have to. It can be scary but you don’t deserve that. Please block this person’s number and never speak with them again.

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