“I got drunk and got too close to my co-worker”

I was dating a co-worker for a week. I went to a party, drank way more than I ever do, and somehow ended up at his house. I met up with him after, thinking maybe we can finally kiss… and we did…BUT it went further. I know we didn’t have sex, I know I kept my clothes on, but I’ve got memories of things I would have never soberly said yes to at this point in our dating.

I tried to mentally regain myself, act like it was okay, kiss him, relax, but (I know I shouldn’t have) I drunkenly drove home. I was sick to my stomach and needed out of there. To make matters worse, I have a history of being sexually abused as a child and it seems as though this night has triggered a lot of things I thought I had dealt with.
Avoidance isn’t going to work, any other advice? Please help!

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“He wants a friends with benefits relationship”

I’m 15, I’ve been talking to this guy that goes to my school. We are friends but we flirt a lot and talk about wanting to be more than friends. Neither of us want a relationship and he wants a “friends with benefits” type of thing which I am really on the fence about.

I really like him and I want to have that with him but I am a virgin and he isn’t. I wouldn’t mind losing it to him it’s just I have feelings for him and I don’t really think he has feelings for me. I want this type of relationship with him where we hang out and talk and have sex but not date. But if we have sex and he doesn’t want to continue this or just stops talking to me after a while or something. I would be super upset because I really like him. Basically I want to, but I don’t want to get hurt and there are a lot of ways this could end badly. What do I do?

“Is he sleeping with a prostitute?”

I’m in a fairly new relationship but things have moved fast and we are expecting a baby in a few months. My boyfriend has a lot of friends male and female. I have no reason to not trust him. I found out today that one female friend, who he is particularly close to, works as a prostitute and he use to pay her for sex while single.

He has never told me this, though he has said they have known each other a long time and he initially met her again on Tinder (before me). My past relationship was very bad and he knows this, and that it left me insecure. My ex frequently went to prostitutes and had numerous affairs and online inappropriate behavior.

My question is, am I right to suddenly feel very, very uncomfortable about this friendship? He has never told me about her line of work etc let alone that he paid for her services (I do know he had been to a brothel tho as he did tell me this). I’m partly wondering if he hasn’t told me because he knows the damage my ex left on me and he really does just value the friendship (she is a lovely person). Or is it not all it seems and not so innocent ?? I don’t want to let my baggage cause me to overreact here but I feel I’d be doing an injustice to myself to do nothing …

“I love him but he’s terrible in bed”

I waited until I was married to have sex. I loved him, for better or worse for 10 years. He was terrible in bed. He hurt me. If I tried to give him suggestions in bed, he’d get mad and it would end in a fight. Sex always became a source of tension. I didn’t know any better and thought this is what sex was.

After a decade of fighting, we planned a divorce, I started seeing someone else and had sex with a stranger for the first time. It was earth-shatteringly good. Exactly what I imagined sex would be like and more.

But I reconciled with my husband because I realized I loved him. Problem is, he is still terrible in bed and I don’t know what to do now that I know it’s him, and not sex in general. I love him, he’s a great father to my kids, but sex is important. Do I destroy it all for good sex? Live without sex? Cheat? Help me!

“My parents have loud sex and I can’t sleep”

I’m 13 and I have been having a problem. For the past couple nights my parents have had very loud sex. My room is right next to theirs. One might say this isn’t too bad however as someone who is asexual and extremely prone to anxiety, this has been making it almost impossible for me to get sleep (which is really crappy because I have a friend coming over soon).

I think last night really messed with me because my mom and emotionally unstable dad had been fighting a lot the past week. I had literally worried he had killed her, as when ten minutes earlier she had stormed out of the house with no explanation and then when they came back my dad said “Calm down, [mom name]”. Not only was there the extreme anxiety and fear of my dad but on top of that them having sex mad me extremely anxious as well. Continue reading

“Shall I put up with his small penis and wait for the money?”

I have been dating David for almost 5 years. We got engaged and have been living together, in my home, for the last almost 3 years. David is a great guy. He makes good money, he buys me gifts, couldn’t love me more, but he shows me no physical affection.

He has a small penis and we have never actually been able to have real sex, so about once a year he gets drunk and we fool around. We never even shared a bed until recently. We hardly speak and never touch more than a quick kiss. David is coming into a VERY large amount of money soon. I love him but I’m no longer IN love with him. I don’t know if the promise of wealth is worth the wait. Help!!

 

“Do I confront him and risk losing him?”

I met this guy on a dating app (we’re both guys) and at first I thought we were just in it for the sex, but then he started getting sweet on me: hanging out for more than sex, cooking me meals, Netflix and chill, spending every day after classes (we’re both in university) together. We basically became a couple in all but name.

We had a row and he made it clear that he doesn’t like me ‘that way’, but we still continue as if nothing changed. We also made it clear that we were just friends, despite everything we did together, and so we began seeing other guys on the side. However, this has led to both of us fighting even more.

He’s said over and over that he likes me as a friend, and he’s limited our sexual contact which I’ve respected, but we are still very intimate physically and spend every night together (just no sex). We practically live together. One night, I came home, not completely sober, and he kissed me, despite having banned it previously.

I get the sense that perhaps he isn’t ready to face his feelings for me, but I feel that if I confront him about this I might lose him. What should I do?

“My ex wants to shag his colleague”

Me and my ex broke up over the weekend but we are still living together as tied by a contract.

He works with a guy who he has never spoken to or socialised with online before all their interactions have been at work or with work colleagues on social events.

Within hours this guy messaged my partner on Facebook, which my partner showed me, and was the first communication ever sent between the two. That night my partner proceeded to tell me this guy was flirting, and after three days they are talking non stop.

He says the guy is just cheering him up, and is a friend even though they went from never communicating online to non stop as soon as we broke up.

While we was together my partner told me they had top 5 shag lists and this guy was on his, and he regrets not sleeping with him when he was single.

I’m devastated that it feels like he moved on within hours, and just can’t believe when he says it’s innocent.

“Shall I ask him outright how he feels?”

Hi, I’m a bisexual guy and I’ve been meeting up with this guy for a few weeks now for sex basically, I’ve been to his a few times he’s been to mine etc, and the other day I told him that I actually like him, he seemed to kind of avoid saying anything like he likes me etc…

He’s really talkative in person but seems to be lacking in texting skills and always seems to blank my message when a topic becomes overused in a conversation instead of what people normally do and divert it over to something else… and as he’s blanked the message I don’t want to look like a fool by messaging him to start the conversation again.

I’m really not too sure how to go about it as some of my mates have told me just to ask him outright how he feels/if he feels anything for me and what he wants, but I don’t really want to force him into anything, or drive him away especially only having known each other for around three weeks…

Thanks.

“I’m 25 years old and I’ve never had sex”

I want to but I’m so socially awkward that I push away anyone who’s interested. The only guys I’ve ever kissed were those who surprised me. I’m mad at myself that I didn’t let it get further with the first guy when I was 16. I was drunk, he was experienced and I had a big crush on him.

Now, nine years later, I’m still a virgin. I want to have sex and for the first time in my life and I’m trying to seriously date someone (I met online). He’s nice but there is absolutely no attraction. There are guys I am attracted to (I feel like there are more of them ever since I started dating) but none of them would notice me, and if they did their confidence would probably make me run the other way. I don’t know if I would feel more comfortable around men if I had sex.

Am I shallow for wanting to have sex with someone I actually find attractive instead of a guy I feel comfortable taking to but have no desire to even kiss? I feel like the longer I wait the less likely it is that I will ever have sex with anyone. I wish I could just get drunk and lose my virginity that way but I have never been drunk enough to actually go through with it.