Tag: insecurity

“I can’t tell if my coworker likes me”

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So I’ve written a blurb before, but things have changed quite a bit since then, and now I’m just as lost as I was before.

I have an immense crush on my coworker. I have for quite a while now. Everyone at work kind of knows Im fond of him. I’m not a particularly friendly person, and I’m usually pretty quiet/shy, so it’s been pretty obvious that I like him. We were fast friends, too. We like all the same things, have the same sense of humor etc.

But since it’s so OBVIOUS that we get along really well, my coworkers tease us constantly and sometimes they can be pretty crude/inappropriate about it.

It’s led to us kind of looking over our shoulder before we talk to each other and sort of pretending to ignore each other sometimes because our coworkers watch us like hawks. We’re their entertainment. My boss has gotten increasingly more rude to me as a result of all this too.

We’re just friends. Flirty friends. We always have been … despite the rumors. We’ve talked about a “friends with benefits” kind of thing just once (in private, after another coworker stirred the thought into existence) – about a week or so ago. We mutually decided that we’d like to — but it’s a really bad idea. This was decided after we both severely overreacted to each other’s hesitation and got into an argument. So the verdict was that it would ruin our friendship, and we dropped it and went back to just being flirty friends. Continue reading →

“I freeze up whenever I try to talk to a girl”

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I’m a 23 year old male, and there’s this girl that I like. Problem is, I feel like I have no personality or an identity. The girl I like goes out a lot to drink and have fun and stuff, whereas I don’t do any of those things. There are many times where I want to break out of this shell and just go out, but, I just keep pulling myself back because I don’t really do that, and I’m afraid that I’ll be too boring.

I don’t go to parties because I’m the person that just sits down and never dances. I feel like I’m lost or something. I’m working minimum wage and some of my co-workers initiate conversations with me, but at the end of all of those conversations, I still feel empty. I can’t hold a conversation either, so I don’t know why they talk to me, but, I’m not going to say that to them. There are a lot of conflicting things happening to me, mentally. I see photos of my co-workers and their friends going out and having fun, and I just feel terrible. I feel like an old man inside a young body, and it sucks.

Anyway back to the girl. She’s the very opposite of me. Continue reading →

“I feel so insignificant compared to her”

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I like someone. Okay, yeah, we all like someone, but I like him a lot and don’t really know how to deal with it. And it’s not even like we’re friends, so it’s not a problem or anything.

My problem isn’t him, actually. My problem is kind of me. See, he has a girlfriend who’s really pretty and tall and thin and has long blonde hair and is incredibly skilled at drawing and her eyeliner is always perfect and I feel so insignificant compared to her. I mean, I will be able to get over this guy eventually, but I still feel really terrible about myself right now?

Can someone please give me advice on feeling more confident or at least how not to, like, compare myself so much? Because I found myself obsessively refreshing her Instagram the other day, and I think I need to stop.

Signed sincerely,

A Hella Jealous Insecurity Machine

“I’m scared my boyfriend is going to break up with me after our trip together”

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My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now. I love him very much, but lately I’ve been feeling a bit of a disconnection between us. It has been going on for three weeks now, and I’m getting really scared that he is done with me. I asked him if he still loves me and he said yes, but that is the only time he has said it lately, and he used to spontaneously tell me all the time. It is my first relationship, so I thought that maybe that’s just how things goes in relationships. You always hear that when the infatuation part is over, the passion sort of dies.

Then I started to notice certain changes. He doesn’t write hearts in his texts anymore. Just three weeks ago he always did that. That was our way of sending love in a plain everyday text. Then he sort-of stopped responding to my texts and only replying if it was something practical like time and dates. And he stopped writing goodnight. I would write both on texts and Snapchat, where I could see that he saw it.

Continue reading →

“My boyfriend told me I’m ‘definitely not’ the prettiest girl he’s dated”

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for eight months, officially for six. Initially, I didn’t want to enter a relationship and wanted to keep casual, but he did things that made me feel like maybe he’s great. Unfortunately, I’ve had my fair share of bad/unhappy relationships, and though I found him attractive and liked him, I wanted to work on myself and develop a stronger friendship with him first.

At first, we had fun going out. He would be all over me, wanting to see me as often as possible, etc. So one day, I stupidly asked if I was the prettiest or one of the prettiest girls he had seen. He said, “no, definitely not.”

Continue reading →

“Insecurity…”

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Hi, I need your help and advice, please.

I have been seeing this girl for about 5 months now, and I think I’m in love with her. The problem, however, is her ex-boyfriend keeps calling and chatting her.

I have discussed how uncomfortable I am with that, but she claims there is nothing going on between them. Recently, she has been saving this guy’s profile pictures on her phone, and even had him as her bbm display once.

Continue reading →

Am I too overweight to date a great and attractive guy? :(

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Hey!

So, a little back story: I was in a very bad relationship for 7 years and have 3 children. My ex started a new job and within 3 weeks, he found a new coworker/girlfriend. Thus, leaving me and our three children. I was constantly put down and told I couldn’t do things, it was a pretty rough situation. Despite the circumstances, I’m happy it’s over and I’m free.

I have my children all the time (except when I’m working) and I’m happy about this… but a year has passed and I signed up for a dating site, not really looking, just seeing what was out there. And I met a GREAT guy.

I mean, perfect. Has kids and is a great dad, great job, incredibly funny and keeps me laughing, EXTREMELY handsome. And there lies the problem.

I’m not sure if my self esteem is just way down or if my feelings are legit. I feel hideous. He calls me beautiful all of the time and other things, so he’s obviously attracted to me, right?

We’ve been talking for two months and he really wants to just hang out. It shouldn’t be that hard. But I feel like my pictures are unintentionally misleading. My face is good, my body is a mess. I’ve taken pictures but they’re at great angles or something because they don’t seem to capture how heavy I really think I look.

I weigh about 200 pounds from terrible diet, back to back pregnancies, and lack of exercise. I’ve recently been going to the gym and lost 38 lbs. But I still feel like a huge monster.

I know he likes me and I like him, but I don’t want him to meet me and he be disappointed and me miss out on a great guy because he’s not physically attracted to me. Physical attraction isn’t everything but it’s still somewhat important.

My issue is, I could look great in 6 months to a year. I could lose weight and be good enough, but if I meet him now, I could ruin it.

Do I just get this over with and meet him? I know he wont wait forever. How can I get over this feeling? How do I handle it if he’s disappointed in what he’s meeting…

Any advice…?