Hi 🙂 I’ve been pretty sad lately. All throughout middle school and high school, guys had limited interest in me. As a senior in high school, I got a job at a pizza shop. This was the first time a guy really gave me attention. I don’t think I really knew how to handle myself. We started texting in April and our first date was in May. We had a few dates and then he started getting busy during the day with questionable friends (he hadn’t gotten drunk until he started hanging out with them).
We kept texting everyday until probably late July. Sometime during that time I invited him to sneak over to my parents house at night so we could hang out again. He did and we made out and watched a movie. Then he went on a trip and the texting got sparser. I went on a trip later in early August so we could hang out. Then he snuck over once more before I went away for college about 3 hours away. We texted for a bit after that and then took about a two week break. And after that we texted off and on. He started asking for pictures too, and I gave them to him, at first I regretted it, and then I thought it was kinda fun. He asked me not to do anything with anyone while I was there and that he wouldn’t either, but we never made anything official. He also doesn’t call me ever.
I went home for a week in October for mid semester break and I lost my virginity to him. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great. Maybe I did something or said something wrong, but I was really feeling awkward the entire time. He didn’t text me the next day. I sent a long text about all that I was feeling, about him, about the sex, everything. I also tried to end it several times at this point just because he confuses me with his silence, and I was going to school and hoped to meet new people.
We’ve kind of texted since break but not really. It makes me so mad and sad and everything. So what do I do now? It’s easy to say just end it, but that doesn’t take into account how sweet he used to be. I could wait until I go back for winter break? And another part of me just wonders if that’s it? If I will ever meet someone who wants me? Someone who will love me, and who I can love as completely as I want to love someone. Any opinions would help.