For the past two years I’ve been sort of sexting/sending the odd nude to this guy. Recently though, he’s gotten into a relationship, however we have still continued sexting etc. We’ve never slept together, it’s strictly ‘cyber’.
A few weeks ago, and I don’t know why I did it, after stalking his gf, I sent her screen shots of our messages. He told her about it before she had chance to see the messages, and she deleted my message request. He told me he felt hurt about what I did, because we were ‘friends’, but the only times he would talk to me was when he wanted nudes or to sext.
He even told me he only talked to me because he was bored and lonely. I don’t know what to do, we still sext and talk from time to time, but I feel like a fool. I don’t know how to let him go and move on, I feel compelled to talk to him. When I don’t talk to him, I think about him constantly, I’m 20 and feel like I’ve passed the phase of stupid crushes. I know I don’t want a relationship with him, but I crave his attention. I know I can’t compete with his gf (he describes her as the ‘love of his life’ and his ‘best friend’) but I still crave intimacy from him. Am I a fool? How do I get over this obsession?
2 thoughts on ““I feel compelled to send him nude pics””
Talk to a therapist or start dating. Write a list of things he did wrong and made you mad. Re-read it when you feel like texting him. Join clubs, volunteer, get a job, second job, and study hard. TLDR: Get busy living your own life instead of desperately throwing yourself at a man while he and his girlfriend laugh or pity you for being desperate and cray cray.
You aren’t crazy and I would like to clarify that I don’t think you are, but I bet dollars to donuts that’s what he’s telling her and making fun of you, so he can keep her. Is that a man you really want? One that only has time for you when he wanted to wank off? When he was bored? NO! You can do better. You deserve better. Stop selling yourself short.
Even if you “won” him you wouldn’t be happy. You would get bored quick and resentful that you weren’t good enough before. The relationship would die quickly and most likely you’d be the one to move on.
Good luck. Be strong. You can do this.
“Im 20, Im past the phase of stupid crushes”
HAHA…. Yeah I wish that were true. Im 26 and I still get stupid crushes. My roommate is 43, and has gotten the odd stupid crush once in a blue moon. Feelings are dumb and they dont care how old you are, they make you feel young and dumb over and over again.
Its normal to seek validation and even human nature to seek it from someone who is less than willing to give it but youre only hurting yourself.
Ive been where you are, obsessing like that. I still deal with it from time to time. I agree with the previous commentor. Distract the ever-living hell out of yourself. It wont be easy at first— youll feel like youre not really present in the activity because your mind is on him….. but I promise that fades.