“I have a new job, and a new office crush”

I just started a new job at the beginning of the summer, and globally everything has been going pretty well: I’ve developed friendships with a lot of my colleagues, and I also enjoy the casual work environment and the work itself a lot. However, there is this one colleague that always made me a little nervous and self-conscious; it doesn’t help that he was the one who mostly trained me when I arrived (we work on the same project). I always thought he had a dreamy smile and I kind-of feel attracted to his personality and his intelligence. However, lately this little attraction has grown into a full blown crush that is making my life in the office difficult, plus I feel super guilty because I already have a wonderful partner of three years whom I am deeply in love with and feel lucky to have. Obviously, I don’t want this crush-thing to go anywhere romantically-speaking. I’ve read a bit online and I know that crushes can happen even when you are already committed; it doesn’t change the fact that it doesn’t feel good. I tried rechanneling this excitement and extra energy into my relationship, and everything is going pretty well on that front. It is more the work-related consequences of this attraction that worry me. Continue reading


“My husband is talking to other women”

So, my husband and I have been together for 11 years. Lately, he seems really uninterested in me sexually or emotionally. We don’t talk unless it’s about bills or something serious. I’ve noticed lately he has been chatting with some old friends of his who happen to be female. One of the females was very disrespectful to me, and he did not defend me, but, he claims it’s just a friend, and that she is not attractive to him.

Yet, he has long private conversations with them – one of which was a sexual conversation that was supposedly a joke.

He says he loves me and is afraid to lose me, but am I really just being naive and being played or am I just being crazy?

“One minute he’s flirtatious, the next minute he’s distant”

I am VERY confused. About a month ago, I started college and on my first day I met this boy in one of my courses. Immediately I was attracted to him and after a couple weeks passed and conversations started to flow, I started to gradually develop feelings for him. However, I was scared to ever admit this to him for many reasons. Despite the fact we had only known each other for a short amount of time, he was also always mentioning that since he has started college he has had to “friend-zone” a bunch of girls, as the attention from them was becoming annoying and he was only looking for a friendship. I didn’t want to be added to this list.

After texting him for a while, we decided to meet up for the first time outside of college. He came round mine and we hung out for a few hours. Everything was going fine and we were both more comfortable around each other compared to how we were at college.

However, things soon got very confusing, as at the end of the night we kissed. Usually I don’t kiss someone who I am only friends with, but something felt right and honestly I couldn’t have been happier. Continue reading

“I can’t tell if my coworker likes me”

So I’ve written a blurb before, but things have changed quite a bit since then, and now I’m just as lost as I was before.

I have an immense crush on my coworker. I have for quite a while now. Everyone at work kind of knows Im fond of him. I’m not a particularly friendly person, and I’m usually pretty quiet/shy, so it’s been pretty obvious that I like him. We were fast friends, too. We like all the same things, have the same sense of humor etc.

But since it’s so OBVIOUS that we get along really well, my coworkers tease us constantly and sometimes they can be pretty crude/inappropriate about it.

It’s led to us kind of looking over our shoulder before we talk to each other and sort of pretending to ignore each other sometimes because our coworkers watch us like hawks. We’re their entertainment. My boss has gotten increasingly more rude to me as a result of all this too.

We’re just friends. Flirty friends. We always have been … despite the rumors. We’ve talked about a “friends with benefits” kind of thing just once (in private, after another coworker stirred the thought into existence) – about a week or so ago. We mutually decided that we’d like to — but it’s a really bad idea. This was decided after we both severely overreacted to each other’s hesitation and got into an argument. So the verdict was that it would ruin our friendship, and we dropped it and went back to just being flirty friends. Continue reading

“Should I treat this as a date or just a friendly outing?”

A few months ago, this girl I like invited me to her party. I go, talk with her, talk with her friends, have a pretty nice time, but didn’t really make a move on her there. Afterwards, I send her a simple “thanks for the invite” text and ask her to do something. She gives me no response. Bums me out a great deal, so I go about everything else. A few months later, on my birthday, I post a before and after picture of myself since New Year’s (I dropped 20 pounds). She likes the pic, gives me a happy birthday post, and actually suggests doing what I was asking her to do.

I won’t be able to see her for about another month, but just wondering, should I treat this as a date or just a friendly outing? Advice appreciated.

“Is he interested?”

I have been talking to this guy for quite a while now, and I just can’t tell whether he’s interested, or if he just wants to be friends. He initiates a lot of our conversations and seems to flirt quite a bit but then next thing you know he’s talking about some girl he met online and asking for advice? I’m so confused. Is he asking me this to see if I get jealous or to see if I’m interested in him, or does he just see me as a friend and is honestly looking to me for advice?

Help, please, I’m so confused!

“The guy I’m into has stopped responding to my messages”

So, I’m 18 and I know that’s young to be looking for a committed relationship, but I’ve just wanted a guy to notice me. The ones who notice me are only interested in what they can get and I keep seeing my peers having boyfriends stay with them for years. This has been happening for so long that I don’t believe any guy could be interested in me ever.

I recently matched with guy on tinder (yes I know this is mainly a hook-up app) but he seemed really nice and totally interested in me (he just asked such mundane questions it felt so nice and normal). We talked for a week straight on tinder then we started snapchatting each other. He was a perfect gentleman (we also have mutual connections so I think this gave us a wider range of topics to talk about), but all of a sudden he just seemed to lose interest.

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“Is my wife flirting with a bodybuilder?”

My spouse has been working out tremendously over the last 6 months. She looks great, feels great. Great! So today she is on Facebook and notices that one of the bodybuilders she has been following, and had done routines that he designed, is in our city at another gym. She posts to his Facebook to “come to Anytime Fitness tomorrow at 7:00 am to work out” with heart emojis at the end. WTF. Then she gets mad at me for getting upset!

“How do I show interest without looking desperate?”

I’m in high school, and school just ended. There was this boy in one of my classes who I had always thought was cute. Unfortunately I don’t think very highly of myself (I’m not skinny or very pretty), and so I thought he would never like me. Then we had to do an activity where we write a letter asking for advice, then we had to switch with someone and respond to one another’s questions. He and I ended up switching journals, and when I read his, it was about me! It said that he liked me and wanted to take me on a date.

I didn’t want to overreact in case he didn’t really mean it, and I didn’t want to sound desperate, so I just gave him some basic advice back. Then a few days later, there was an origami heart on my desk in homeroom, with no note. I suspect it was from him, but he never mentioned it in class. Then in class, I was talking to another person and saying how someone called me but didn’t leave a message. Sort of under his breath he said “it was me asking you on that date,” and I was so caught off guard that I didn’t really say anything.

Continue reading