“I’ve been dreaming about my coworker who reminds me of my boyfriend”

I’ve been in a relationship for almost 3 years with a good guy. He’s honestly a good person. We’ve been together since I was 20 and he had just turned 30. The first four months of our relationship were amazing. Total honeymoon phase. But after we started living together, he started to show his true emotional weaknesses. He would play video games for hours, sometime bordering on days. He would come home from work and ignore me until bedtime, where he would toss and turn until morning, only to do it all over again.

We never did anything fun or went anywhere together. I was starting to feel incredibly trapped and unappreciated. We fought all the time, with me always conceding my side to calm him down or make him happy. He finally got some help with his depression and things got better.

We still fight, and nothing I do seems to be good enough for him. I’m too lazy, I’m not clean enough, I forget to do things, I’ve gained a bit of weight. All these things make me feel like I’m not good enough for anyone. I always feel like the one who is more caring and affectionate. We didn’t have sex for months at a time. And we when we did, it was lacklustre and sad. When I lay it all out like this it seems horrible.

Recently I met this guy at work, and he resembles my boyfriend in many ways physically. He’s so sweet and nice and has a really good sense of humour. I find myself thinking about him most of the time I’m at work. He knows I’m involved and never tries anything other than light work place flirting. I’ve started having dreams about him and have to stop myself from messaging him when I’m not working. I’m so comfortable in the relationship I’m in now because I’ve been in it for so long. I see so many other people who are moving on with their lives and are happy. And I’m stuck dreaming about a guy I work with while living with someone I’m growing to resent. I know what I need to do. It’s just hard.

One thought on ““I’ve been dreaming about my coworker who reminds me of my boyfriend”

  1. Anonymous says:

    End the first relationship then take some time off dating for rejuvenation. Then if the other guy is available you can ask him out. You need some you time badly, because you deserve better than what you were given. He’s being a jerk because he wants you to be the one to end it.

    Make sure to have a exit plan on where to live. I would cut communications from him for a while too. You can be friends again later once you are healed and you are definitely NOT READY to deal with any more from him now. Remember, YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHER PERSON’S MENTAL ILLNESS.

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