I have been dating my boyfriend for year now. About 5 months ago, my boyfriend left for a week to Canada to play in a hockey tournament. When he came back, I found a screenshot of a girl from Snapchat on his camera roll, which led to me also finding his Tinder account. He was using his Tinder account when he was out in Canada.
His team had won the tournament, and his last night they went out. The screenshot of the girl was some Canadian girl from Tinder, and from the glimpse of the text said “I had a really fun night,” but I didn’t have the gut to read their text messages (the girls he message on Tinder were just flirting — he only gave his number out to this Canadian girl).
I consider the flirty messages emotional cheating, and I do believe he physically cheated on me too his last night there. I obviously forgave him — we are humans, we make mistakes. It wasn’t easy, but I do have insecurities now. Whenever we would talk about this topic, I would get angry or he would shut down. I feel like I’m at a mature place where I can talk about this maturely. I need to know why and the truth of what happened that last night at the bar. I need closure. What do you guys think about this?
6 thoughts on ““I found out my boyfriend is on Tinder””
I think you don’t trust him for good reason and it’s time to leave. He’s just going to keep doing it. Don’t expect change. Just move on.
He is cheating. I am 100% sure. Ask yourself this: Would you have the heart to do the same? If your answer is no, than that means in terms of feelings you guys are not on the same page.
I’d be tempted to agree with the others, but I’d be inclined to say that you should wait it out a bit. Perhaps it was a once-off. If you find any evidence that it’s happening again, confront him about it. If you personally feel like it’s too much, or if it’s just happening over and over, then dump him. There’s no fun in being cheated on.
Someone who cheats once is going to do it again. You can’t make him stop cheating, you can only make him stop cheating on you. We may all be human, but cheating is intentional. He decided to break your truat, because unfortunately you’re just not important enough to him. Do you want to have to worry about him screwing other people whenever you’re not around? You already know he considers being in another country a good enough excuse to be with someone else. Sorry for being blunt, but tl:dr dump the cheater, you deserve better.
How will closure help you, exactly? You either trust him, or you don’t. If you trust him, then take him at his word, and be with him.
If you don’t — or can’t — then maybe it’s time to move on.
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