“I found out my boyfriend is on Tinder”

I have been dating my boyfriend for year now. About 5 months ago, my boyfriend left for a week to Canada to play in a hockey tournament. When he came back, I found a screenshot of a girl from Snapchat on his camera roll, which led to me also finding his Tinder account. He was using his Tinder account when he was out in Canada.

His team had won the tournament, and his last night they went out. The screenshot of the girl was some Canadian girl from Tinder, and from the glimpse of the text said “I had a really fun night,” but I didn’t have the gut to read their text messages (the girls he message on Tinder were just flirting — he only gave his number out to this Canadian girl).

I consider the flirty messages emotional cheating, and I do believe he physically cheated on me too his last night there. I obviously forgave him — we are humans, we make mistakes. It wasn’t easy, but I do have insecurities now. Whenever we would talk about this topic, I would get angry or he would shut down. I feel like I’m at a mature place where I can talk about this maturely. I need to know why and the truth of what happened that last night at the bar. I need closure. What do you guys think about this?

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6 thoughts on ““I found out my boyfriend is on Tinder”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I think you don’t trust him for good reason and it’s time to leave. He’s just going to keep doing it. Don’t expect change. Just move on.

  2. tvizii says:

    He is cheating. I am 100% sure. Ask yourself this: Would you have the heart to do the same? If your answer is no, than that means in terms of feelings you guys are not on the same page.

  3. invktion says:

    I’d be tempted to agree with the others, but I’d be inclined to say that you should wait it out a bit. Perhaps it was a once-off. If you find any evidence that it’s happening again, confront him about it. If you personally feel like it’s too much, or if it’s just happening over and over, then dump him. There’s no fun in being cheated on.

  4. Nosy says:

    Someone who cheats once is going to do it again. You can’t make him stop cheating, you can only make him stop cheating on you. We may all be human, but cheating is intentional. He decided to break your truat, because unfortunately you’re just not important enough to him. Do you want to have to worry about him screwing other people whenever you’re not around? You already know he considers being in another country a good enough excuse to be with someone else. Sorry for being blunt, but tl:dr dump the cheater, you deserve better.

  5. Dennis Hong says:

    How will closure help you, exactly? You either trust him, or you don’t. If you trust him, then take him at his word, and be with him.

    If you don’t — or can’t — then maybe it’s time to move on.

  6. Leah Adam says:

    I felt my husband of 11 years was cheating on me. I didn’t know any of the details at all, only that he has been talking to her for a while. I am devastated and I feel sick constantly. I can barely eat and I find myself trying to win him over more than he is trying to win me back. I felt helpless and alone to a point that it’s eating me up so much inside I barely wanted to live anymore. So the IT guy at work introduced me to a hacker who helped me hack into his cellphone and i was able to get the details of how many women he was cheating on me with…I decided to come on here to tell people about this particular hacker who changed my life forever and took me out of the shackles of broken marriage. Contact him on (BIRDEYE dot HACK at GMAIL dot COM). He’s legit and keeps to his words, also his charges are affordable too…

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