Category: Advice Needed

“I have no good reason to leave my boyfriend, but …”

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I’m in a stable three year relationship, but I’ve started having feelings for another man.
I feel really conflicted and confused, as my current relationship is stable, there aren’t any problems, we have lots in common, and I never thought that my feelings would change so dramatically.

I met this other guy at several events I do through work, and we have really hit it off and I feel this really strong chemistry with him, which is something I rarely encounter when I meet someone.

We’ve been emailing each other a bit about a project and have just been chatting. I feel so confused though. I have no good reason really to not want to be with my current bf, and yet I’ve met someone who I feel I have really connected with.

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“How can I reach out to him without being creepy?”

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Hey everyone, so I had this app called “Friend Life.” Well, I met this guy on it who was amazing. He made every day better for me, and the first week we met, we ended up becoming best friends, and ended up dating. I loved him.

Any way, the problem is my account got hacked and I decided to work on myself. Five years have passed and I still love him. We haven’t gotten each other’s Skype or Facebook. But we dated each other for a long time. I found him on Facebook…. should I reach out to him, and what would I say that’s not creepy?

“How do I get her attention?”

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I met a girl on Tinder about four weeks ago. The first week, we talked on the phone because she has a job and she was out of town the whole week. When she returned to town, I asked her out to go see a play and get dinner on a Friday. After the play and dinner, I took her to my photography studio and showed her around. She’s into photography as well, so she seemed to be happy to see it.

When I dropped her back off at her car we hugged and we kissed on the lips. The third week, I asked her out fishing (she actually suggested fishing). We were set to go Saturday, but that Friday, she said she was going to have to do something with her mom in the morning, so we cancelled the fishing outing.

Now it is the fourth week of us talking. I’m trying to figure out a good way to get her attention. I really like her and she said she wants to go out again when she isn’t so busy. This weekend her friends are in town, so we probably won’t be doing anything. How can I impress her? I feel like we have a ton in common and really don’t want to screw this one up. Thanks.

“I can’t figure out where we stand”

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I’ve been getting to know a coworker for the past few months, but since the start of summer, I’ve started to like her more.

We often have lunch together one on one, and recently have been going out for lunches that I’ve referred to as dates. She returns physical contact, and often, but not always, messages me first thing in the morning.

The problem is she lives out of state and goes to grad school after hours and has such little free time that we haven’t done anything outside of work. We see each other during the week, text a decent amount, and talk on the phone on occasion, so I can’t figure out quite where we stand or how to proceed. Any advice?

He says it’s her fault that his ex stole his money

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Nic says:

Been in a relationship for over 3 years. Thought everything was good. He had to go to jail for a couple months for a driving offense a year into the relationship. I supported him through this time, as he had always been supportive of me.

During the incarceration, he came clean about not always being faithful in the beginning, as he had a ex he had sex with a handful of times in the beginning of our relationship. While in jail, this ex had access to $10,000 of his in a joint account. Somehow she found out about me, got pissed, and stole his money. He blames me, although I was clueless. We didn’t live together before jail (he had his own place and is financially capable of doing so again), but now we do, jointly caring for one of my kids and one of his.

We talked about marriage and everything. He never accepts responsibility for his BS. Tonight he told me that I “fucked up his money.” And if I hadn’t posted something about him on Facebook while in jail (which he told me to post), that he would have his money and wouldn’t be “stuck living with me.”

Needless to say, that hurt. I’m not heartless enough to kick him and his son out, but I feel like I’m holding on to a one-sided relationship now. Like, why are you here if you feel that way, or why say things just to hurt me.

Ric says:

I didn’t lie about the other chick. I shouldn’t have to explain my finances when we weren’t serious at first.

“I need to break up my friend’s relationship”

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My guy friend has been in love with his boyfriend since they were in secondary school, but since they got together, he’s been on a downward spiral. He used to be a smart little introvert and now he’s out taking class A drugs on the regs. The final straw was finding out he broke my friend’s arm during a drunk fight this week, my friend loves him too much to leave and I’ve always played friendly because I’d rather my friend be safe at my house than out fuck-knows-where but it’s too much now.

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“My casual relationship is getting too serious for me”

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I have been casually dating a guy for six months. About two months into our relationship, I slept with another guy, then shortly afterwards broke off our relationship to return to an ex. I very quickly realised that this was a mistake, and returned to the first guy. We had a proper conversation which appeared to resolve the issue. I then moved country, and we continued to Skype almost daily. Our conversation and interaction remained intimate. Although I was aware that from time-to-time he would go to a club and kiss another girl, this appeared to drop off, as it did for me, and I was fairly clear and upfront about the fact that I was not seeing anyone else. He told me this was the case also.

I visited him again, and then he visited me, and, having discussed it a few times, we decided to commit to each other, with one of us moving country to be with the other. However, he also told me that during the time I had been away, he had slept with someone else once, while drunk, and although he felt guilty, he had not seen it as a big deal because there had been no clearly delineated boundaries or ‘end goal’ for our relationship.

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“My parents care about my brother more than me”

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I am really confused and I need some family advice!

I feel like my parents care about my brother more than me! Every time he asks them for something, they are always more than happy to give him what he wants. For instance, he asked to be taken to a summer camp about an hour-and-a-half away from where we live, but when I asked to go to a church youth group two minutes away from where we live, my mother told me that no one wanted to take me. And at that time, my parents had friends over, which i understand….but still. Its only two minutes down the road.

And also, they let my brother invite friends over and even go out to other friends homes, but when I ask, I am always told no. I feel like they hate me and love my brother. Please help! What should I do?

“Is he interested?”

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I have been talking to this guy for quite a while now, and I just can’t tell whether he’s interested, or if he just wants to be friends. He initiates a lot of our conversations and seems to flirt quite a bit but then next thing you know he’s talking about some girl he met online and asking for advice? I’m so confused. Is he asking me this to see if I get jealous or to see if I’m interested in him, or does he just see me as a friend and is honestly looking to me for advice?

Help, please, I’m so confused!

“I think I’m ready to leave my husband”

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I met two great guys at the same time. It was a blind date with one. He brought me over to his place and I met his roommate/best friend the same day. I was instantly attracted to his best friend and I could sense that the feeling was mutual. At the time his best friend was in a relationship (at least that’s what I was told at the time), so I backed off. I eventually married my date and have been mostly happy for over 13 years. Throughout those years I’ve grown closer to his best friend.

One night we were talking and I learned that when we first met, he was NOT in a relationship. He did end up in a long-term relationship with a friend not long after our first meeting, but my husband obviously lied to keep me around and away from him. We both have admitted that we love each other, but we have never and WILL never do anything behind my husband’s back. We are both the type that would never betray a friend, no matter what so each time we’re around each other it feels a bit tense.

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