“My casual relationship is getting too serious for me”

I have been casually dating a guy for six months. About two months into our relationship, I slept with another guy, then shortly afterwards broke off our relationship to return to an ex. I very quickly realised that this was a mistake, and returned to the first guy. We had a proper conversation which appeared to resolve the issue. I then moved country, and we continued to Skype almost daily. Our conversation and interaction remained intimate. Although I was aware that from time-to-time he would go to a club and kiss another girl, this appeared to drop off, as it did for me, and I was fairly clear and upfront about the fact that I was not seeing anyone else. He told me this was the case also.

I visited him again, and then he visited me, and, having discussed it a few times, we decided to commit to each other, with one of us moving country to be with the other. However, he also told me that during the time I had been away, he had slept with someone else once, while drunk, and although he felt guilty, he had not seen it as a big deal because there had been no clearly delineated boundaries or ‘end goal’ for our relationship.

Ever since I have found this out, the sparkle and excitement has entirely died from my perspective on the relationship, as I felt we had already moved on and reached a certain emotional stage by that point. When I have raised the fact that I am finding this difficult to process, ahead of my imminent move, he tells me that I am one of only two girls he has ever been in love with and that he wants me to move in with him. Last time I attempted to broach the subject, he ended up crying and begging me, saying how angry he would be if something so minor broke us up.

I am trying to rationalise my instinctive emotional response to this, as I do believe he cares about me, and my rational self would like to give this relationship a go, but I am finding the pressure alongside my own concerns pretty claustrophobic.

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