Category: Advice Needed

“He sleeps until 2 pm every day”

3 Comments

Please help settle this tiff between this couple:

Chloe says:

We moved in together three years ago. We sleep at the same time every night, but the next day I wake up at 9:00 or so, and he sleeps in until 2:00 pm. I’ve already cleaned, fed our pets, attempted to fix him breakfast, and waited for him to wake. I’ve tried waking him up earlier, but he just rolls over and sleeps more. We’ve fought many times over this, but he just refuses to wake up at a decent hour, and I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t like being alone for so long and doing it all by myself.

Jon says:

Yeah I sleep in, but only because I’m tired. I try waking up sometimes, but I’m not perfect, ya know? I don’t get why its such a big deal.

 

“He let his friend drive my car and lied to me about it”

1 Comment

I am dating a guy. We recently went out of the country together. When we were away, he let one of his guy friends (whom I have never met) drive my car, and he lied to me about it. I found out because I found a receipt in the car, and when I asked him about it, he lied initially. I asked him again, and he came clean. I was annoyed, but tried not to get too upset about it. I have a tendency to overreact. He didn’t understand my being upset. Was I wrong for being annoyed by this?

“My girlfriend keeps in contact with her old flings”

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My girlfriend of two months has her ex-flings (not ex-boyfriends) in her phone contacts and in her social media (Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat), including one she was flirting and talking with during OUR talking stage. She claims to not have entertained anyone else after we became “official.” Either way, this irks me, and I don’t know whether or not I’m being insecure or if I should say something because she should cut them all off. I should mention that I was hurt in my past by a cheating ex, and I have major trust issues that I am working on. What should I do?

“He keeps wanting to wait on getting married”

2 Comments

My boyfriend and I have been together going on three years. We started living together after knowing each other for eight months and after officially dating for only one month. We have a one-year-old daughter and recently (two weeks ago) found out that we are expecting our second child. I love him and from the time I met him have been pretty deeply in love. We live well together, but we do obviously have our share of arguments.

We had previously talked about being married and he led me to believe that we were on the same page. To the point that we had engagement rings for one another. We later had some issues come up involving him talking to other people and we stopped wearing our rings. Now that we are supposed to be going to counseling and working on things, he sees marriage for him in another 5-6 years.

I personally don’t think it takes that long to decide if you want someone. Especially considering our circumstances — we live together, sleep together, share all of our finances, and have children. I take care of our home, child, and I cater to him all that I can. He didn’t decide to wait on anything else, so why does he want to wait on marriage? Continue reading →

“Her male best friend told her to break up with me”

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A few months ago, my girlfriend broke up with me after we had an argument. (It was an online relationship and I know it sounds crazy, but we just clicked.) We were talking and she told me she had to think, so I let her go for a while. About 30 minutes later she finally called and we talked. I tried to come to a happy medium so we could both be content, but she told me no. And that she’s so sorry through her crying, she just ended it. Her reasoning was that she didn’t have time for me with school and money problems arising. I had always felt like there was more to it.

Flash forward to now (months later), she tells me her “best friend” at the time told her to break up with me. But he then went on to tell her that he had liked her a month after she broke up with me. She denied him, but it just upsets me. I feel like she shouldn’t have brought him into it at all on that level. Am I right to feel this way?

“What was he thinking as he looked into my eyes?”

4 Comments

I am 21, and I have a crush on a guy who is 6 years older than me. I have known him since I was 12 or 13, and I have liked him since I was 15. We first meet at a family reunion retreat sort of thing and he came because he is a friend of my older cousin. This family reunion is held every year around September and every year my cousin invites him. That is the main time that I usually saw him for several years. My cousin would always bring all of her college friends with her to the retreat every year.

I developed the crush on him when I was 15 and I was thoroughly embarrassed that I liked an older guy. I got to know him a bit better over the years, but I knew he would never see me in that way. When I was 16 my older brother decided that he wanted to go the same college that my crush had recently graduated from. My brother got to know him better and later on even ended up living in the same apartment that my crush used to live in.

When I graduated from high school I decided to go to the same college as well (for completely unrelated reasons). I was only there for a year a suffered academically (I wasn’t sleeping at night because there were mice in my dorm room) and ended going back home to go to the local community college. Back home I learned that my crush had bought a house near where I live and used my dad as the real estate agent. Continue reading →

“I don’t want to be a battered woman”

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I have been with my boyfriend/father of my child for 4 years. He takes care of our child while I work. While at home he does apply to jobs. It’s just for the past 2 years since he lost his job that he’s never been able to get back on his feet.

In arguments he blames me for the situation we are in, never taking accountability for his lack of actions and lazy attitude. He lost his job pretty much the same time I found out I was pregnant, so I did know it was going to be hard, but I stood by him, did what I could to try to keep him motivated, and let him know I’m here for him and I know it’s hard. I never tried to kick him when he’s down.

When he lost job, his dad paid his car note, so I definitively don’t think it’s fair that he blames me, saying I’m the reason his life is where it is, that I have done nothing but bring him down, when he’s the one not really putting in the effort. I pay all the bills, food, basic necessities needed for life. When the tax income came in, he expected money. But he doesn’t financially provide anything, except watching his child, because he doesn’t work.

I would have given him money, but he got mad at me one day because he thought I had taken his phone, which I didn’t and never would. He destroyed my house — holes in the wall, tore down my closet, destroyed my shoes, broke my tablet. When I came home and saw this, he confronted me and was yelling in my face and put his around my neck. Yes he squeezed. It was uncomfortable. This was the first time he had ever been physical and screaming in my face like that with our child in my hands. Continue reading →

“I like him, but he’s so attached to his mother”

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I’m a single mom with 3 girls ages 2, 3, and 5. I’ve been single for about 2 years now and just recently met a great guy. He’s also a single parent with a little girl, age 9. He’s a pilot so he frequently travels.

His mother lives with him because while he’s gone, she takes care of his little girl. Which I think is sweet! He’s a good guy and seems very willing to be a part of my kids’ lives and he’s very understanding of my busy schedule. We’ve only been on 3 dates within the past month.

I’m basically new to dating after being in a very long (abusive) relationship and I need to take it slow and casual at first. But the only thing is, this guy is soooo attached to his mother. Which I think is nice BUT he asked me if it was okay to bring her along our last date. It was at the park to let our kiddos play so I said sure. But thought it was a little strange and I honestly wasn’t ready for all that. She ended up not coming and it sounds bad, but I was relieved. Continue reading →

“He didn’t know what he wanted two years ago, but now wants to see me”

4 Comments

I dated a man (whom I met through a personal friend) back in ’14. Whilst things were going great at first, I decided after a pull back and keep things friendly. After a while I just realized that he honestly didn’t know what he wanted, didn’t know where he was going in life and simply put wasn’t ready for a relationship. Despite the fact that there was an age difference. I’m now 31 he’s 41.

We kept in contact and met up occasionally but again, I kept things casual and as friends despite the fact that he continued to give me mixed messages. He would continue to flirt with me, be touchy, want to spend time together, etc. Our mutual friend didn’t understand really what was happening there either. But I eventually moved on and started seeing my ex (wasn’t planned at all) but life goes on.

Early last year, he told me that he started seeing someone. I was happy for him and told him I was in a good place as well and that I had reconnected with my ex and that we were expecting (wasn’t planned either but was completely awesome nonetheless). He got completely saddened by it (strange for someone who didn’t know what he wanted when we were dating and was now in a relationship with someone else) and drilled me about my ex. Continue reading →

“He acted romantic, but then didn’t want anything serious”

5 Comments

I got matched with this guy on Tinder. We talked for a couple of days and decided to meet up. The first planned meeting didn’t happen because he was too tired from work. Yup, he is flaky! But it eventually happened a few days later, when he had his off day from work. It was plain getting to know each other through a meal and a couple of drinks. He walked me to the bus station, I went home and that was it. Nothing physical. Didn’t realise the purpose of Tinder changed!

We texted almost daily after that. I invited him over to mine for our second meeting. We had sex. And a couple of times more across a few weeks. Then, it turned out weird. We started going on romantic dates. We walked the park. We explored some new places. We watched movies. We met up for dinners. Sometimes with sex after, sometimes without. It got really confusing. We would cuddle all night and have breakfast together. It wasn’t just about sex anymore.

From the beginning, we assured each other that we don’t want anything serious, especially since I am leaving the country in a year time. But, eventually, I got attached and I confronted him. He then said he doesn’t want to take things further and would only like to meet sometimes and sleep together. Continue reading →