“He didn’t know what he wanted two years ago, but now wants to see me”

I dated a man (whom I met through a personal friend) back in ’14. Whilst things were going great at first, I decided after a pull back and keep things friendly. After a while I just realized that he honestly didn’t know what he wanted, didn’t know where he was going in life and simply put wasn’t ready for a relationship. Despite the fact that there was an age difference. I’m now 31 he’s 41.

We kept in contact and met up occasionally but again, I kept things casual and as friends despite the fact that he continued to give me mixed messages. He would continue to flirt with me, be touchy, want to spend time together, etc. Our mutual friend didn’t understand really what was happening there either. But I eventually moved on and started seeing my ex (wasn’t planned at all) but life goes on.

Early last year, he told me that he started seeing someone. I was happy for him and told him I was in a good place as well and that I had reconnected with my ex and that we were expecting (wasn’t planned either but was completely awesome nonetheless). He got completely saddened by it (strange for someone who didn’t know what he wanted when we were dating and was now in a relationship with someone else) and drilled me about my ex.

Long story short, he then decides to go on this soul-searching trip in Asia, and pursue an on-off relationship with the woman he had met. We are still connected via FB but rarely talk outside of likes and through photos/statuses that we post.

He just came back from another trip in Asia, and recently met up our mutual friend. He sent me a message earlier saying that meeting with our friend caused him “to think about me” and he wants to see me and catch up. Said that his experiences in Asia were very enriching, that he has direction in his life and that he even wants to meet my son. What gives and why is he all of a sudden eager to catch up when we haven’t spoken let alone met in a relatively long time?

4 thoughts on ““He didn’t know what he wanted two years ago, but now wants to see me”

  1. JS says:

    Maybe he wants to rekindle something with you. He may really like you and maybe you give off the marrying type vibe and he wasn’t ready for that the last time. What do you think and how you feel about him because if that’s not a road you want to visit again let him know.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I would move on from this guy. Seems like he romanticized the idea of you in his head while you were not around. In a longterm permanent relationship the person will not hem and haw and make you ask/wonder wtf is going on. Find someone who can actually communicate their needs to you in a timely manner instead of needed to go threw soul searching missions two or more years prior to figure out what they need out of life before deciding on you.

    You deserve better. You deserve a man in the here and now who won’t jerk you along.

  3. BeRosey says:

    Definitely get away from him. He will hold you back. He sounds so confused and you dont want to get mixed up in that. Do you have a good thing going with your ex? I would leave it at that.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Perhaps he was hoping to find his unrealistic, dream woman (no offense intended). When he couldn’t he eventually came back to you. Why did it take a mutual friend to get him to think of you? Doesn’t sound like a keeper.

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