“He acted romantic, but then didn’t want anything serious”

I got matched with this guy on Tinder. We talked for a couple of days and decided to meet up. The first planned meeting didn’t happen because he was too tired from work. Yup, he is flaky! But it eventually happened a few days later, when he had his off day from work. It was plain getting to know each other through a meal and a couple of drinks. He walked me to the bus station, I went home and that was it. Nothing physical. Didn’t realise the purpose of Tinder changed!

We texted almost daily after that. I invited him over to mine for our second meeting. We had sex. And a couple of times more across a few weeks. Then, it turned out weird. We started going on romantic dates. We walked the park. We explored some new places. We watched movies. We met up for dinners. Sometimes with sex after, sometimes without. It got really confusing. We would cuddle all night and have breakfast together. It wasn’t just about sex anymore.

From the beginning, we assured each other that we don’t want anything serious, especially since I am leaving the country in a year time. But, eventually, I got attached and I confronted him. He then said he doesn’t want to take things further and would only like to meet sometimes and sleep together.

I was really confused. Why the proper dates. Why the texts. Why the all-night-long cuddles. I was so distracted from whatever I was doing. I was waiting for his text. I was looking forward to the next meet up. I was thinking of what breakfast to make for the morning afters. Yes, that’s how bad it got. Who wouldn’t get attached by going on romantic dates. We even held hands and made out in public.

I could no longer take it. Too much of a distraction. I texted and ended it. I supposed he was fine with it? He only said he understood and hoped he didn’t hurt me. Obviously I acted like I didn’t care and was determined to end it completely once and for all, but it hurt so bad inside.

I am wondering if I should text him again? I miss the companionship a lot. With the ‘break up” text I’ve sent him, it would be so awkward if I were to contact him again. It was me who suggested a complete cutoff between us, but I am not sure if I should go back to when we enjoy each other’s company without the relationship status, which we don’t want, with all the distractions and emotions involved. I doubt we could even go back to square one since I’ve already made it this way. So, the question is whether or not I text him? For the sake of companionship really. He is never the type of guy I like and there is definitely no ‘future’ for us.

5 thoughts on ““He acted romantic, but then didn’t want anything serious”

  1. Anon says:

    Dont because you may just fall in love again woth him. Its best to move on and find somebody to have a serious relationship with.

  2. R says:

    Honestly, people spend far too much time worrying about the future and worrying about their “status” and where they stand with one another. Why does it even matter what you are to one another? If you enjoy his company here and now why does tomorrow matter?

    Follow your heart. Screw “whats best”.

    If you develop more feelings then so be it. Tackle that hurdle when you come to it. Thats life. You meet people, you fall in love. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesnt but wouldnt you rather have love and lose it than to cut things off prematurely over theoretical future problems it might create?

  3. Sommer says:

    If you want to text him do it , but there consequences to everything you do. You got attached to a guy it’s normal when you spend that amount of time. If you miss companionship do it ,but I wouldn’t continue a sexual relationship with him. Keep it friendly. There is a reason why you feel or said there is no future with him as far a being in a serious relationship so be friends.

  4. diannedeniserandall says:

    I think if you really like this guy then you have to decide what you are willing to accept. Maybe it was too soon for him to want a relationship commitment… but if he made it clear that all he wants is hanging out and occasional sex not much you can do. Either you will accept that and hope one day he will want more or move on. Don’t kid yourself when you want more. Best wishes.

  5. Anonymous says:

    If he was in love with you he would be trying to get back together with you for sure. Sounds like you cared more about him than he you. But since you state that there is definitely no future for the two of you and you are only wanting the companionship, if he was to phone you and try to patch things up (no strings) and you are okay with that, companionship is companionship as long as nobody is getting hurt. But if he doesn’t phone first, I think, it means that he could easily take you or leave you. If you phone first and the two of you patch things up (no strings) I think you are setting yourself up for more hurt.

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