I’m a single mom with 3 girls ages 2, 3, and 5. I’ve been single for about 2 years now and just recently met a great guy. He’s also a single parent with a little girl, age 9. He’s a pilot so he frequently travels.
His mother lives with him because while he’s gone, she takes care of his little girl. Which I think is sweet! He’s a good guy and seems very willing to be a part of my kids’ lives and he’s very understanding of my busy schedule. We’ve only been on 3 dates within the past month.
I’m basically new to dating after being in a very long (abusive) relationship and I need to take it slow and casual at first. But the only thing is, this guy is soooo attached to his mother. Which I think is nice BUT he asked me if it was okay to bring her along our last date. It was at the park to let our kiddos play so I said sure. But thought it was a little strange and I honestly wasn’t ready for all that. She ended up not coming and it sounds bad, but I was relieved.
He’s now saying “My mom wants to meet you, my mom wants to meet you!” He invited us over for Thanksgiving, and he’s now asking me to come over to his house today with my kids to meet his mom. He’s becoming pushy about it and it’s just too much too soon for me. I literally just met this guy like a month ago and we’ve only been on 3 dates. I feel so pressured to meet his mom and I feel like he’s not even asking me if I’m okay with it, he’s just pushing it on me and I’m feeling stressed out about it.
I really just wanted to casually date for a while and let it blossom into something great. But he is taking things WAYYYY too fast. How do I tell him he’s moving too fast for me, without hurting his feelings or his pride?? Remember, this is his mother and I have to tread carefully about the subject. I want to get to know him better and I didn’t plan on seeing anyone else.. but I just wish he’d slow down because he’s about to freak me out and run me off. Please give me your HONEST advice!!!!
One thought on ““I like him, but he’s so attached to his mother””
It sounds to me like he has had to rely on his mother a lot to care for his daughter while he is out of town. This has probably made him much closer with her and thus he wants you to get to know her. She has become such a big part of his life that it must feel natural to him that you and she should get to know each other this soon. You however feel differently because you want to get to know him better at this stage. You should tell him that you want to keep things casual and slow because of your past relationship. Tell him that you want to take things slowly for the sake of your kids and his. You want to be certain for there sakes that this will be a healthy lasting relationship. Tell him that what you two have could be a great thing, but it also needs room to grow. I hope everything goes well for you and I wish your girls a Merry Christmas!