Category: Advice Needed

“My stepson and his pregnant girlfriend are counting on my husband to spoil them”

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Hello, I am seeking advice on a daughter-in-law problem. Ann is not really our daughter-in-law. She is a pregnant girlfriend who lives in a small rented house with my never-been-married, 35-year-old, no-ambition, lazy, but sweet stepson. She has a five-year-old darling daughter from a previous marriage.

My husband and I have a daughter together, 30, but she is in no hurry to have children. This child would be our — but technically his — first grandchild. He is almost 60 and is overjoyed about the pregnancy. We only learned about this and met her four months ago. She is presently 6 months along.

She seems nice on the surface, but I have only been around her three times, and only a couple of hours each time. My problem is this: during these four months, she has texted my husband about five times and sent photos of her daughter. The daughter is not his granddaughter and she has not texted or sent photos to me (not that I want her to). Continue reading →

“My boyfriend and I fight constantly”

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My boyfriend and I fight a lot! We have been together for about 10 months now. We are both in our mid 20s. We broke up once around 5 months because of constant fighting. I was upset with him a lot because I didn’t think he was a good boyfriend to me at first. Perhaps due to his lack of relationship experience and years of sleeping around. But then I knew I wasn’t a good girlfriend either. I was very demanding and would be pissed for lots of small things and had the habit of ordering him around and occasionally making fun of him in front of his friends etc.

Little did I know, at that time, when we first started dating, he slept with his ex twice. It’s the only ex he had three years ago. He dumped her, and she has been in love with him/waiting for him for 3 years. He confessed to me last week. I was shocked. He said he wasn’t very serious with me at first cuz of the way I treated him, and he really wanted unprotected sex which I couldn’t give him. That he regretted deeply after we got back together the second time, and told her ex that we were getting serious so they should stop. And it never happened again. He cried so hard and begged me to give him a second chance. I eventually agreed but on the demand of checking his phone whenever I want, which he agreed. Continue reading →

“He treats me like a best mate”

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I’m in love, but not feeling loved. I’m seriously and deeply in love with my high school sweetheart’ of 5 years, both of us having no other relationships beforehand. Before we were in a relationship, we were good friends for 6 years. We went to college together, went to festivals, lived together in a shitty flat for 2 years, and we often talk about our futures together.

He’s smart, handsome, kind, lovable, makes me laugh so much, and honestly a really good guy. There’s just one thing missing from an otherwise beautiful relationship … He’s a bit of a crappy boyfriend. Continue reading →

“I’ve never felt like this towards another guy”

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Okay, so I’ve recently befriended this 20-year-old Christian male. I’m male, too, and also a Christian. I’ve always had feelings for females, never males. But now that we’ve started talking, every day we always have a really good time.

We’ve talked about the subject of homosexuality and if we were accepting or not of it, and we both are. The thing is, we are fairly new friends, but I’ve never felt like this in my life. And it’s not just sexually-thinking, it’s genuine-thinking. I want to go see movies with him, and cuddle. I don’t want to sound like I’m stereotyping, but he did sorta come across gay when I met him. But we’ve talked about his past relationships and how he’s still in love with his ex-girlfriend, who’s very much moved on. I want to let our friendship grow, but all I want to do is flirt and talk to him about how freaking perfect he is to me.

“Her coworker threatened to kill me if I try to go anywhere near her”

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I was in a relationship with someone for close to 3 years. We had decided early on that we wanted to get married. Recently, though, she broke it off, shifting all the blame on me.

I took the blame, being the nice guy, and she originally gave me a chance to win her back. But soon after (the next day), she retracted any chance to be in her life. She said she had been unhappy for a while, but never told me anything. I didn’t see a big change, since she was always negative.

I haven’t faltered once in the relationship with love. I always wanted to be there for her, but she ended the relationship without any chance for me to try to make things better. I am worried for her, so I told her family about the situation, and even they don’t know what’s wrong. She won’t answer to anyone in her family, and she’s lying when she says she’s talking with her family. Continue reading →

“Did I make a mistake ending things because of politics?”

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I was talking to this great guy for about three months. He left for school in another state right after we started talking, so we relied on texting, Snapchat, and Skyping.

Things were going great, besides the fact that I thought he was way to good for me, until the election results came up, and I brought up politics. That’s when we realized we don’t have the same political views, and I would get really mad when we talked about it.

So I ended things. Did I make a mistake ending things because of politics?

“I found pics in his phone of his stepsister in a bikini”

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year. I recently found a section of his notepad on his phone where he was keeping nude pictures of porn stars. I also happened to find pics of his stepsister in a bikini. What do I do? Before this, we never had any trust issues, but now I’m just disgusted. I love him and don’t want to just give up, but should I?

“He sends a lot of mixed signals”

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There’s a really cute guy from a school in the next town over that I have the biggest crush on. I met him through mutual friends, and I’ve been hooked on him ever since. We Snapchat a lot, and he always tells me I look cute or compliments me. He even asked me to hang out!

But when the weekend came, I didn’t hear from him at all, so I texted him, and he said he was working, and the next night he was with his friends. He sends a lot of mixed signals by asking me to hang out, and then not responding to me. I really want to date this guy, but I can’t tell if he’s interested, and I don’t want to seem too clingy/ annoying. What should I do??

“I can’t stop feeling guilty for breaking up with him”

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I was with my ex-boyfriend for 5 years (from 18 to 23). I met him while studying abroad, far from home. It was a good, happy relationship for the first 3 years. We lived together, we planned our life together, I was convinced we were going to marry and all that good stuff.

Things became difficult because he was a heavy weed smoker. Because of that, so was I eventually, but I didn’t blame him for that. Life was really not rosy … we had no money, he had no stable job, he kept changing them and quitting and stuff (I had 3 and that kept us going). We were both pursuing careers in creative fields, but neither of us had much luck with that. I really disliked the country we were living at (his home country) and was always from the very beginning very vocal about it. His answer always was — yes, I agree, we should move, I want to leave, too.

This went on for two years, but nothing changed. Eventually, in desperation I stopped waiting for him, found a university I wanted to apply to in Germany, started learning the language, and informed him of what I was doing. He didn’t try to stop me, but wasn’t too encouraging either, just a “yeah do what you want” kinda attitude.

But I still loved him with all my heart even then, and also felt loved by him — never was neglected or abused. There was just this crushing apathy about him that hurt me the most. In a year’s time, I found out I was accepted and realised I was going to have to move. I was delighted. I burst into tears, realising I could actually escape the life that was leading nowhere, working shitty miserable jobs just to survive.

His reaction, however, was unexpected: He was terrified and panicked. How can he move to a different country, he doesn’t know the language! What will he do there? I will study, but what will he do? And to top it all off, he told me I couldn’t just drop this on him so suddenly! I’d been telling him I wanted to move for 3 years, and that I applied to universities a year in advance. THAT hurt. And stuff did go sour then. We both became very hurt and scared for what was gonna happen to our relationship. However, we both loved each other, had a connection, and wanted to make it work.

So we tried. I moved on my own, with no help from him. I found an apartment, bought furniture, sorted out all the bills and legal matters. It wasn’t easy to be on my own after 5 years of having back up. And to top it all off, he called me to say he was diagnosed with severe clinical depression, and me leaving made it even worse. Continue reading →

“I’m dealing with family grief and cheating”

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A couple months ago, my grandmother and aunt died in a car accident. My mother was devastated, seeing as losing your mom and sister is really rough. Although I have mostly accepted it and moved on, my mom hasn’t really. She is definitely an emotional person and I don’t expect her grief to last forever, but it worries me how much she cries when she thinks no one is looking or is in a depressed mood.

My dad has not been much of a source for support to her either. He was kind to her at first but now he mostly keeps to himself. They have been married for 20 years but recently, my mom found out that he was cyber cheating on her for sixteen months. I have no idea what to do in this situation, the tension in our home is so high and I hate to see the situation breaking my mother like this. Please help.