In need of some advice. This is gonna be a bit long and it’s two points that somewhat connect.
First, I’m married (2 years) and I love my wife, right now we’re dealing with distance due to my work but things are great as we’ve dealt with it periodically throughout our relationship.
1. So when we first got into a relationship I had to move away for a while and 6 months into the relationship I had an emotional affair for maybe a month with an old ex. Things got pretty rough but we obviously got through it. She had threatened to have “revenge sex” but eventually explained she could never do it and didn’t want to. She did however in a fit of anger text me old sex videos she had of her and some exes to get back at me. Well one of the videos has been on my mind a lot lately and I kind of want to watch it to use as jerk off material. So long as I can’t see the guys face and she doesn’t say a name, I can imagine it’s me just like I do with porn. I have videos of me and her and they’re great but I just want something new. HOW DO I ASK TO HAVE HER SEND THIS?? Would it be too weird or wrong??
2. I am again away from her, will be 5 months. I have reason to believe and have before that she is sending nudes over Snapchat to other people. She’s always been super protective of her phone and she even told me that back when we first started dating. I lied and said I’m okay with that and I understand. It’s definitely something that has bothered me. Anyways, I got suspicious a while back and started creeping her Snapchat profile by keeping track of her score. I noticed when she sent me some nudes it went up more than just the amount of nudes she would send me. Also at times, although rarely it goes up a hundred or more in a span of an hour or two. I know she’s not snapping her best friend cause I have her on Snapchat as well and thought about that.
When I’m around her she definitely swipes away notifications very quickly and gets bothered if I look over her shoulder and “linger.” Is there a way to ask her about this. I was honestly thinking about lying and saying a guy used a fake account and messaged me saying she’s been sending nudes out because less than a month into our relationship when it first started that did happen but the only “proof” he had were pictures from back when I had very first started talking to her (long before we were even dating) and he never sent any screenshots even though I asked for him to send real proof. Again, how do I handle this? Would using that lie to get answers or see her response be too much? Am I just over analyzing or being crazy?