I feel lonely. I have plenty of friends from high school who I keep in touch with using discord, and I’ve got a few acquaintances in college. When I say that I feel lonely, I mean romantically and sexually. I’ve tried plenty of ways to maybe ease myself into a relationship. I’ve tried self reflection to appease the requirement of loving myself in order to be capable of loving others. I’ve tried putting myself into a mindset of being indifferent so that I don’t come off as creepy while it becomes easier for me to tease and be playful.
I’m also fairly handsome (I can pull off a clean look and a rugged/scruffy look), not to brag or anything it’s just that I get that a lot, but I don’t get many advances (not that I’m really expecting so much as hoping). I want to find myself in a relationship, but I don’t have much time to even devote to one so I’m also fearful of seeking it out. I don’t want to get into a relationship and then not have the time to give to keep it going.
But I really want someone special in my life; I’m tired of sleeping alone, I’m tired of not having someone to look to for emotional support or offer it to, and I’m tired of not having someone to be with when I’ve got time off and none of my friends are in town. I have a cuddling fixation and I’m very touch-oriented, so that’s part of the reason why I’m tired of sleeping alone. I don’t know what to do. I know what I want, but I also know what I don’t want. I don’t want to go through life not knowing the literal and figurative warmth of another human. I’m a heterosexual male if that’s important.