“My fiancé thinks I have too many issues”

I am a 29 year old medical student. Doing well academically, but this year has been hard. You see, after my sister passed away in 2013, I withdrew from medical school for some time, to take care of my parents. I eventually gave up. But I later realized I still want to do it, I made a promise to my sister I’d get back in it.

In the mean time I met this girl, things were decent, we had our differences, but it worked. She wasn’t career oriented, I was, and I eventually got back into medical school. I was doing very well, till the doctors told me I needed open heart surgery. Fast forward this year, I was told I needed to take medical leave, fly out to get my surgery done, and my ex fiancee told me “she can’t call me, not even for 5 min, she needs a break, that you have too many issues, first medical school and now health issues”. I mean this is the same person who wanted to return the engagement ring I got her, only 2 weeks after getting it, because she wanted something a “bit more”.

Insecurity ran deep in her, in that she wanted to have something of her own, because she didn’t have a career. I know I am not perfect, my career meant the world to me. I made a promise to my sister, but after having surgery this year, although it went well, I am having a hard time getting over her. I have relapses, thinking, wow I have straight A’s in medical school now, I wish she was around to see this. I got elected class president and yet I feel a bit empty.

 

2 thoughts on ““My fiancé thinks I have too many issues”

  1. Anonymous says:

    internet hugs That sucks. It’s going to take time to get over this woman, but that’s the healthiest thing you can do. She is the toxic one, not you. Take things one day at a time. If you need to cry it’s ok to do so. In fact it might help you get over her faster.

    One thing I did to get over a toxic relationship is make a list of all the things he did that pissed me off or hurt me in someway. I put it in a location I could see it so I wouldn’t contact him. Anger is one of the stages of getting over something. Exercise also helped a lot. That way I didn’t do anything unhealthy with the anger. Also, start talking to people on online forums like reddit or whatever you like. It’s helpful to socialize with new people and not rebound. Gets hard to make new friends as a adult. I played a online game where I talked to a lot of people over the internet. I have friends in every state now.

    Spoiler alert: He still tries to talk to me and I ignore/block him. I am now happily married with a most wonderful two year old. The best way to get back at a ex is to live your life the way you want and be happy.

    PS make sure you don’t pick up another gold digger like this one. Best of luck and new health my internet friend.

  2. Dennis Hong says:

    My sister is a physician, and I remember the stories she told me about how intense med school was. So first off, mad props to you for dealing with your personal and family issues AND still managing to get straight A’s. That’s fucking awesome, man.

    Having said that …

    When you’re focused so intently on a singular pursuit such as med school, you definitely put your relationships to the test. It’s not easy to be with someone who’s going through med school or something equally intensive. But it is possible.

    But guess what? Your ex-fiancee failed that test miserably.

    There are many variations on the saying that you don’t deserve someone at their best if you can’t love them at their worst. Well, she clearly couldn’t love you at your worst, even knowing full well that your “worst” wasn’t anything that was your fault, and in fact was something that will help you make a life for yourself. In that respect, your “worst” wasn’t even a bad thing. And yet, she couldn’t handle it.

    So consider this: Do you really want to be with this woman? Or are you just lonely and nostalgic?

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