“He holds money over me”

So my boyfriend and I have been together almost two years. Moved in together 8 months ago. I make significantly less money than him, and he makes significantly more than average. He pays the rent, I pay the rest of the bills (electric, water, trash, cable, etc). He always holds it over me that he pays for everything, while I do all the cleaning, cooking, laundry, and such to make up for what I can’t pay.

Sometimes I feel like he needs to up his end, cook or clean, anything really. Also, my car needs tires, and he offered to buy (as my Xmas gift) USED tires for me…. I said no and that he’s being cheap but how do I go about getting him to be less stingy, and/or stop holding money over me??

 

“Is it a discredit to my father-in-law and husband?”

My mother in law was married for 5 years before she married my husband’s father. She had a son (H) from her first marriage and subsequently her first husband died.

Her first husband had a small life insurance policy. After his death she worked as a preschool teacher until she married my father in law (RR) who was a successful attorney. She quit working then and had another son (RR JR now my husband). Continue reading

“He worries about money and never initiates sex”

I have recently moved in with my boyfriend of over a year. I love being with him, but two things have bothered me since we moved. First and foremost, he is extremely concerned about money – this would be normal, but he has approximately 1000 dollars more than me currently, and I paid for all of our furniture/home essentials/most of our food.

Given that I don’t drive, he gets very upset about spending gas money (we hardly drive anywhere and he drove all the way home without me this past weekend, 3 hours away). It got to the point where we really needed another trash can, and he wasn’t going to buy one because a large one in Walmart was $10… so I caved in and bought it. It took him 2 weeks to pay back his $80 share of our internet/router. I really don’t have much money left but he expects me to pay half/more than half our groceries.

The other thing is, he just doesn’t seem attracted to me anymore. If we have sex I am the one to initiate, and he barely touches me and normally just wants me to get on top of him. We spoke about this and have had good sex twice since (I initiated though).

The money thing is very, very, very uncomfortable for me though, and I don’t even know how to bring it up. He gets very angry and acts like I’m crazy/doesn’t believe that I’ve paid for as much as I have. My stress levels have been through the roof and I’ve been crying and panicking a lot. He seems confused about that, too, and gets frustrated with me very quickly when I show any emotion or am not super happy or active. I think he may be stressed and acting like this due to that in part. But I need outside perspective. My friends are a little biased.

“I don’t trust him sexually or financially”

(Disclaimer! This is a male/male same-sex relationship)

I’m engaged to someone I don’t trust sexually or financially. We will have been together two years at the end of October this year, and he proposed a few weeks ago. Another bit of information is he has a neurological disorder that can cause tremors every so often, and he can become highly sensitive to certain sensations like water, soap, a sudden cold breeze. This doesn’t appear to be all that often, I’d say once or twice a day he will experience these things. He also has a daughter that is 7 years old, the result of a boozy encounter with one of his friends. Continue reading

“I love him, but he’s lazy with no ambition”

Hello, first time here. My boyfriend and I are both 21, dating for a little over 2 years now. I am in school and have future goals, while working part time and freelancing for myself. On the other hand, my boyfriend has been jobless for over a year now, not in school and lacks motivation and ambition.

I love him very, very much, but this is really starting to bug me as I think it would for anyone. I just do not know what to do anymore, we have talked about it many times and have gotten into arguments about it as well because he gets annoyed or defensive. Continue reading

“I love him but am worried about his mounting debts”

I’m a 59 y/o female with same guy for 4 years and he is almost 65 y/o. We love each other but completely disconnect on financial matters. He talks about living together all the time and I’d love to, except he has no assets, owes thousands on credit cards (which he pays a little but needs a lot more to pay off) while I work hard, earn a good living and have assets.

I worry all the time about his finances because it will affect me if we live together. I’ve told him we can’t have a future without him getting his cards paid down but he wants to move in and give me his paycheck and let me decide how to allocate the money, which I don’ t want. I don’t need a rich guy but I really need a financially settled guy who doesn’t spend more than he earns! I am almost ready to break up with him but know that there aren’t many “good” guys out there. Any advice?