“He holds money over me”

So my boyfriend and I have been together almost two years. Moved in together 8 months ago. I make significantly less money than him, and he makes significantly more than average. He pays the rent, I pay the rest of the bills (electric, water, trash, cable, etc). He always holds it over me that he pays for everything, while I do all the cleaning, cooking, laundry, and such to make up for what I can’t pay.

Sometimes I feel like he needs to up his end, cook or clean, anything really. Also, my car needs tires, and he offered to buy (as my Xmas gift) USED tires for me…. I said no and that he’s being cheap but how do I go about getting him to be less stingy, and/or stop holding money over me??


One thought on ““He holds money over me”

  1. Anonymous says:

    You decide that you won’t put up with it anymore and have a sit down with him with a chart. If that doesn’t work, do you want to stay with a man who will forever pretend he is above doing his own chores in his own home? Do you want to take care of any children, fur or human, that you bring into the world with a man who doesn’t see your worth? This is a big red flag. It can be worked past, however, if he doesn’t work on it on his end after you’ve explained, showed him proof and given him a chance, move on. There are men willing to love and support you out there if you want them. Nothing changes until you decide to change it. A ball doesn’t roll until a force puts it in motion. Next time you decide to cohabilitate:

    Articulate at least one reason besides convenience and finances to move in together.
    Save enough money for three months’ rent (security in event of a breakup).
    Reach an agreement on how rent/mortgage and household expenses will be split.
    Discuss your financial situations in detail.
    Be in agreement about potential future steps in your relationship, like marriage and kids, and when you’d like for those to happen.
    Discuss how household chores will be divvied up.
    Clean out your closets and get rid of all the crap you no longer want or need.
    Celebrate a one-year anniversary together.
    Go on a trip together.
    Poop in each other’s homes.
    Spend a whole week together.
    Introduce your pets.
    Decide whose furniture you’re keeping.
    Pick out some new sheets and bedding that complements both your tastes.
    Have an exit strategy (Who keeps the apartment in the event of a breakup? Will the person moving out find a new roommate for the person staying? What about the deposit on the apartment? Etc., etc.).

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