“I love him but am worried about his mounting debts”

I’m a 59 y/o female with same guy for 4 years and he is almost 65 y/o. We love each other but completely disconnect on financial matters. He talks about living together all the time and I’d love to, except he has no assets, owes thousands on credit cards (which he pays a little but needs a lot more to pay off) while I work hard, earn a good living and have assets.

I worry all the time about his finances because it will affect me if we live together. I’ve told him we can’t have a future without him getting his cards paid down but he wants to move in and give me his paycheck and let me decide how to allocate the money, which I don’ t want. I don’t need a rich guy but I really need a financially settled guy who doesn’t spend more than he earns! I am almost ready to break up with him but know that there aren’t many “good” guys out there. Any advice?

2 thoughts on ““I love him but am worried about his mounting debts”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I applaud you for thinking with your head and not your heart and getting saddled with all his debts this late in life. If you married, imagine the hole you would be in if he suddenly died. I think you may want to see a counselor about why you co-dependantly need a man so deep in dept because he’s a “good” guy and think that you may want to keep searching, because they are out there. You know what to do. Good luck and best wishes dear lady.

  2. FIRETWIRL says:

    I totally feel your pain. I’m 49, and my last 2 boyfriends became more financially dependent on me as the relationships progressed. I feel strongly that any adult ready for a romantic partnership should be able to stand on his/her own 2 feet financially. If you love him, enjoy your time together! Just whatever you do, don’t marry him or get yourself into a situation where he can become dependent on you financially. I don’t see an issue living together if you set up appropriate financial boundaries. Take care not to position yourself so you’re carrying him. Or consider referring him to a financial adviser and be honest about your reservations. Dangle the carrot of moving in once he has his finances in order. Good luck! ❤

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