My boyfriend and I have a child which is why I’m thinking so hard about it. I don’t wanna leave him because we have a baby together…but he has hit me. He yells at me. He insults me. He’s choked me and punched me. That’s only when we argue…he says it’s my fault. But when we’re okay, he’s sweet…he does favors for me, he makes sure me and my son are okay…I don’t know what to do…
In May of 2015, my boyfriend of three years broke up with me. He was my best friend, and he stopped talking to me altogether. The stress and emotional turmoil on top of my depression and anxiety caused me to have to go to the hospital for mental instability. This was the year I graduated high school.
That summer I got better (mainly by being so high on the medicines from the hospital) that I went off to college that fall. The work load was so much on top of being drugged out of my mind that I physically could not do it, and to get a medical withdrawal, I had to go back to the hospital. Ever since, then my parents have bitched about me going back, but I don’t know what to do with my life, and I don’t want to waste my time or money to not do anything with a bullshit degree.
Ever since I dropped out I have had a job. In May of 2016, I tried to move out because of my parents being the abusive asshats they are, and my mom sent me to the hospital because “I obviously had to be crazy to not live with her.”
Once I got out, I still lived with the guy I was with, but two months later things didn’t work out, so I moved back in. I started dating one of my coworkers (let’s call him Jim) and we both got fired. I really loved Jim and he seemed to love me too. He lived with his mom, stepdad, and four siblings. We both found other jobs and he didn’t live far from me. Continue reading
About three months ago, a guy from school/work asked me out to dinner, as a date, presumably. I gladly accepted, as this was a man I was growing fond of. It all started out wonderfully, mindless chatter, stories from work, and at once, I noticed a very protective aura coming from him. Even as we walked out, he was latched to me in an endearing way.
Things changed quickly. Right off the bat, he made it 100% clear he was a sexual person. Every time I wanted to come over just to CASUALLY hang out, he would grab me as I approached, kiss me, and begin to feel me up/grope in his driveway. Any location of the body, you name it. Nothing affectionate, nothing tender, and often times, bruises were left on my chest from his grip and painful bite marks on my shoulders, that stung a day later. I brushed it off, figuring that was natural in the moment. Continue reading
About three months ago, a guy from school/work asked me out to dinner as a date, presumably. I gladly accepted, as this was a man I was growing fond of. It all started out wonderfully, mindless chatter, stories from work, and at once, I noticed a very protective aura coming from him. Even as we walked out, he was latched to me in an endearing way.
Things changed quickly. Right off the bat, he made it 100% clear he was a sexual person. Every time I wanted to come over just to CASUALLY hang out, he would grab me as I approached, kiss me, and begin to feel me up/grope in his driveway. Any location of the body, you name it. Nothing affectionate, nothing tender, and often times, bruises were left on my chest from his grip and painful bite marks on my shoulders that stung a day later. I brushed it off, figuring that was natural in the moment. Continue reading
So, recently my first love contacted me. He pretty much ended our relationship on a terrible note, and left me crushed in the wake. The relationship itself was rocky but we were young, fresh out of school, and had different interests. He was a gamer, I was a partier. Though I did like gaming, I much preferred just being social and surrounded by people. We had our normal conflicts. I trusted him until the end of the relationship after I found out he had almost hooked up with a girl at a mutual friend’s party during one of our breaks (so that was never an issue in the relationship until the end). I had been very open with him during our times of separation and just expected the same amount of respect back. So once I found that out, I got paranoid and I knew it was going downhill. We broke up two months later.
He grew up in an emotionally and mentally abusive home with an alcoholic and had childhood traumas I couldn’t even touch, but I tried so hard to support him and be patient through all of his struggles. I wanted to be there for him as much as possible because I loved him, I still love him to this day. I’m by no means insinuating I was perfect, my family isn’t “good.” On more than one occasion, under the influence of alcohol, he had outbursts at me, never hitting me, but he would choke me. He never knocked me out or really hurt me, it was more of a restraint hold… And I would leave and eventually forgive him because I knew he didn’t know how to properly manage his emotions (in a matter of five years, this happened four times – no excuses just letting you know) and to me, when you love someone, you fight through the bad because they are worth it and obviously I knew of his past, so I was willing to try. Continue reading
For the past two years, I have been with a guy who is 26 years older than me. He owns the business in which I am employed. He is very well known within a 300 mile radius. In the beginning, it was a lot of fun, and traveling, and going out, and a lot of other things. A few months into the relationship, I wanted out, and became suicidal. He just loved me so much and no matter how toxic our fights were I didn’t leave. I ended up moving in with him. He had his house listed for sale before I met him and so we moved to a new house. I tried to find a house that wouldn’t be too much if I finally left.
We settled in and continued to have toxic fights and I have been so unhappy, and yet he just loves me so much and makes sure he reminds me of everything he given me, and how I am who I am because of him. But he doesn’t say it in that way, he’s really good with mind games. When we fight he says the most hurtful things and gets me so upset and worked up that I just beg and plead for him to just walk away and leave me alone for five minutes. But then he just wants to hug me and tell me he loves me and say that I’m his, and we’re fine.
I finally moved out, but because I didn’t want to lose my well paying job that I really enjoyed for the first time in my life. I ended up moving back in with him because I had nowhere to leave my dog when I was at work. Continue reading
I feel trapped in my life. I’m stuck in a relationship with the father of my son, and it’s miserable. I can’t stand him and he can be an emotional bully, but we live together, and I feel like financially, I have no other options. I’m already living paycheck-to-paycheck.
I want to move down south, but can’t because I feel too guilty taking my son away from his family. I still have strong feelings for a guy I was briefly dating, who remains a friend, that I chat with every now and then, but, I know I don’t have a shot with him romantically. My job stresses me out to no end. I feel like I’m always unhappy and drowning.
I know what would make me happy but it’s all out of reach. I feel like I have nowhere to turn or anyone to talk to so I just keep it all bottled up.