So, recently my first love contacted me. He pretty much ended our relationship on a terrible note, and left me crushed in the wake. The relationship itself was rocky but we were young, fresh out of school, and had different interests. He was a gamer, I was a partier. Though I did like gaming, I much preferred just being social and surrounded by people. We had our normal conflicts. I trusted him until the end of the relationship after I found out he had almost hooked up with a girl at a mutual friend’s party during one of our breaks (so that was never an issue in the relationship until the end). I had been very open with him during our times of separation and just expected the same amount of respect back. So once I found that out, I got paranoid and I knew it was going downhill. We broke up two months later.

He grew up in an emotionally and mentally abusive home with an alcoholic and had childhood traumas I couldn’t even touch, but I tried so hard to support him and be patient through all of his struggles. I wanted to be there for him as much as possible because I loved him, I still love him to this day. I’m by no means insinuating I was perfect, my family isn’t “good.” On more than one occasion, under the influence of alcohol, he had outbursts at me, never hitting me, but he would choke me. He never knocked me out or really hurt me, it was more of a restraint hold… And I would leave and eventually forgive him because I knew he didn’t know how to properly manage his emotions (in a matter of five years, this happened four times – no excuses just letting you know) and to me, when you love someone, you fight through the bad because they are worth it and obviously I knew of his past, so I was willing to try. Continue reading →