“My love life is a complete mess”

I’ve made my love life a complete mess. I was dating this wonderful guy, off and on for 3 years. I cheated on him twice (yes I know, I’m awful) but we got back together after both.

He bought me all kinds of thoughtful gifts, made me close with his family, planned a future and was just great. In February I broke up with him to date my friend from work, who I thought I was madly in love with. It felt incredible, like my last relationship just sucked, and this felt great. That only lasted for a few months and now I feel sad all of the time and find myself constantly thinking about my ex.

I currently live with my boyfriend which makes this all so much worse. Do you think I actually regret ending the relationship? How can I love someone and want to be with them if it was so easy to leave?

 

“Worried that this long distance relationship won’t work out”

I am quite young and am in a long distance relationship. I live in the UK and he lives in California. Long story short, I never really expected us to continue even talking after I left America, we were barely together for a week while I was there. We ended up in a relationship and a few months in (only two months ago) I broke up with him after freaking out about the fact that I’m almost certain it wouldn’t work out long term. Continue reading

“Do I break up with her sooner?”

I’ve been dating this girl for a year and a half, but I’m finding that I’m just not happy anymore. When we first started dating I was very happy, but over time things have gotten bland. We get into occasional arguments but they are all super petty and we end up having very unhappy evenings because of it.

We usually make up, but I can tell that some things we have said still sting. She gets stressed often and I try to comfort her and encourage her, but when I get stressed, I feel she would rather let me deal with it on my own, and sometimes gets mad at me if I’m in a bad mood. We know we aren’t going to the same college and so we figure we’ll probably break up after we go off to college, but I’m starting to think it should be sooner.

I need my space, but I can’t tell her that without hurting her feelings. She admits she can be judgmental and petty, but after a while it still gets old. She’s been going through a lot, she’s constantly stressed with schoolwork and even her family pressures her negatively sometimes, and I feel that if I broke up with her, she’d be devastated. I want her to be happy, but at the same time, I feel I need to be happy too, and I don’t get that sensation I used to. What should I do? Should I break up? Or hope that going off to college will break us up for me, with less hurt feelings?

 

“My ex is toxic but I want to stay friends”

I have an ex girlfriend who is a very toxic person sometimes. None of my friends like her anymore, even though they did at the start, and not because of anything I’ve said to them (which was little) but because of how they have seen her behave. None of them tried to break us up and they didn’t even tell me until after I had made the choice to do so. Breaking up and moving to a new city two hours away (where my friends are) has not been the issue for me.

It’s needed and allows me to continue to progress and just focus on myself for a while. I just recently discovered the depth of her deception and lies and it of course hurt, now I’ve come to terms with it and can’t help but wonder if I’m still able keep a friendship now that I know she can’t be trusted? I feel like I can better protect myself emotionally, we had some really good moments too and I guess that’s what makes it confusing.

My struggle is with the idea of completely cutting off contact. I don’t know if I’m a fool to hold on to the hope she will one day mature and change her ways over the next few years (she’s still young) or if I should just walk away now and never look back. I hate removing people that I care about from my life and I never fully stopped talking to my last ex and eventually she did mature to a level I can be friends with her so I’m hoping for the same here. Should I still keep a bit of contact and give her the chance to grow on her own and if she does we can build a friendship? Or am I just asking for continued drama in my life?

“I want to break up with him, but am worried about my son”

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost three years. I’ve come to the realization recently that I’m not in love anymore and am very unhappy in the relationship. I want to end things with him and am ready to move on and be on my own.

My only hang up is that I have a seven year old son who has grown to see my boyfriend as a father figure. His real father lives two states away and only comes home once or twice a month. I’m worried about the effect this will have on my son. Both in the fact that my boyfriend will no longer be around, and because our lifestyle will have to change pretty dramatically to be able to afford to stay in the same apartment and school district once we no longer have his income.

I know that moving on will make me happier so how do I do it in a way that lets a seven year old know it isn’t his fault and that everything is going to be okay?

“Should we stay together or shall I let her go?”

My girlfriend and I are fourth year students just finishing our degrees. Our relationship is both of our first serious relationship and we’ve been together for almost a year. We’ve had a lot of difficulty lately, especially with school stress and having to work closely together on many projects and reports.

She broke up with me a month ago, and a week after that we discussed things and decided we didn’t want it to end and we wanted to work on things. Things continued to be difficult, and now I know we’re back on the rocks.

I know she needs to see that I’m ready to grow up and take control of my life, but I don’t think I’m going to get the chance because I think she’s ready to give up again. I still think we have a relationship worth fighting for, but I’m torn because fighting for it will only make it harder on her to walk away if she has to.

I don’t want to lose her, and if all relationships require work then I think ours is worth working for.  What should I do? If we should stay together, how can I tell her? Can I tell her somehow that I want to fight for us? Should I leave her to think about things even if it means losing her?

I know I’m capable of making her happy and I want to stay together so we can both be happier.

I don’t know what help I expect to find, but please help.

“I dumped my boyfriend over a job he took”

My ex boyfriend and I work in the same industry. Essentially he accepted a job working for someone who screwed me over. I asked him not to take it, he agreed, but the next day called me at work to tell me he took the position, and I was so furious I broke up with him. Part of me understands, the money is good. The other part of me is enraged and hurt, and betrayed. Did I overreact? It would be our 3rd time breaking up, and probably the last. I am so incredibly sad.

“I want her back but she isn’t the girl I knew”

This is painful for me to talk about, but I’m alone and I need advice FAST. Today, I noticed that my girlfriend of 9+ months had changed her Instagram bio.. it had another guy’s name and yesterday’s date.

When I asked her about it, she claimed that he was her best friend and that was “the day they met”. Which doesn’t make any sense. After I called her out on this, she got mad and accused me of “stalking” her. She then told me that she was breaking up with me. It was so sudden and I had never been so distraught in my life.She later said that she would get back with me if I “stopped stalking her profile” and “let her go on dates”… What the heck? I don’t like having my emotions toyed with.. I want her back but this isn’t the girl who I know.

“I’m mad about a guy that loves me but doesn’t wanna be with me”

Three years ago I met a guy. He was bi-curious, meaning he wasn’t sure about his sexuality at the time. We talked a while and we ended up getting close. I knew he loved me and I felt the same way.

One day he second-guessed himself, since he was scared and still new to the whole ‘liking a guy’ thing. He ended up apologizing for leading me on and he told me that he doesn’t like guys and that he was straight. Less than a week later, he had a girlfriend and they seemed serious. I was hurt, but I never stopped loving him deep down. I ended up getting with this girl (I’m bisexual) and she and I were super happy for about a year and a half but in the end we just turned into best friends because neither of us were really feeling it. Continue reading

“My intuition has been pulling me in a direction but I’ve been fighting it”

I have been with my kid’s father for almost 5 years, but broke up after 2 years and then got back together to work things out. We broke up because he said what he was looking for wasn’t me, but then we tried to make it work again and this time around things were going so well.

Then slowly but surely, things have gone back to what it was before. He makes me feel like I’m not doing enough in the relationship and at home. I’m a stay at home mom of 3 kids and I’ve only stopped working for a year to care for our 4 year old and 11 month old twin girls. Continue reading