Three years ago I met a guy. He was bi-curious, meaning he wasn’t sure about his sexuality at the time. We talked a while and we ended up getting close. I knew he loved me and I felt the same way.
One day he second-guessed himself, since he was scared and still new to the whole ‘liking a guy’ thing. He ended up apologizing for leading me on and he told me that he doesn’t like guys and that he was straight. Less than a week later, he had a girlfriend and they seemed serious. I was hurt, but I never stopped loving him deep down. I ended up getting with this girl (I’m bisexual) and she and I were super happy for about a year and a half but in the end we just turned into best friends because neither of us were really feeling it. I ended up going solo for a while before I met another guy. We talked for a few months and he loved me, but I just couldn’t be with him because he was closeted because of his celebrity status. I ended up ending things with him in October.
In November I was ready to move back to NYC and even started the process. I had half of my stuff moved, but then the guy who I used to love messaged me again. He told me that he recently came out and he wanted me back because he loved me back then and still loves me. I was a little apprehensive at first but by December I accepted him back. The holidays came around and I told him I’d be gone close to a month visiting my family. They live on the opposite side of the world, so I let him know that communication may be a little difficult, since there was a 12 hour time difference.
I did my best to talk to him as much as I could and I even sacrificed my sleep for it at times. We Facetimed and texted all the time. The last week of my trip, I ended up breaking my phone. I didn’t have his number memorized and I couldn’t really contact him any other way so I went 3 days without talking to him. Finally I replaced my phone and got in contact with him. I explained my predicament and he said everything was ok.
I could tell there was something wrong and I asked what it was: he ended up telling me that he wanted to break up because he didn’t want a relationship. Because of family problems and friendship problems. I told him I would be there in under 3 days and it still wasn’t enough. We are still talking, but not in a relationship way. A week has passed since he broke up with me and he tells me every day how much he loves me, and it’s hurting me even more because I don’t know how he can say he loves me, but doesn’t want a relationship with me. It’s not a friendly love, it’s a romantic love. I have literally sacrificed a lot to be with him. How do I handle this? I’m just so confused and I can’t ask my friends out of embarrassment. I just have no clue what to do about this. I’m mad about a guy that loves me but doesn’t wanna be with me. Please help me.
One thought on ““I’m mad about a guy that loves me but doesn’t wanna be with me””
The guy you’re talking about definitely has commitment issues. In honesty, I’d be really hesitant about trying to date a guy with commitment issues, because it won’t go anywhere, and it’ll be too late before you come to truly realize it. My advice? Probably confront him about it. It sounds like unfinished business. Try to get a straight answer from him – does he love you, doesn’t he love you. If he’s still skittish with his answer, then it might be best to just leave it.