“He’s an alcoholic and I feel like his mother”

My boyfriend is a depressed, functioning, alcoholic.

We’ve been dating for a year and a half, at about 6 months into our relationship I found out about his drinking & progressively after that more and more was revealed. He drinks alone when his depression gets heavy (1-2 times per month). He’s never violent or angry, just emotional and the drinking upsets him more. He does tend to call me in the middle of the night as he is wandering drunk around NYC at 3am and begs me to let him stay over (I oblige because I worry).

He lost his job (not because of alcohol) but it’s factored into his depression. He doesn’t seem interested in working again but he is going to therapy (on my insurance).

I don’t want to leave him but I feel like I’ve had to put my life on hold to take care of him (emotionally and financially). I’m starting to feel more like a mother than a girlfriend. I’m in my early 30s, never married, and want a future with him, but it seems like he’ll never get to a place to think about the future. Everything is just dealing with him right now.

I don’t know what to do.

“I’m worried about my boyfriend’s binge drinking”

I don’t know how to confront my boyfriend about his alcoholism. He binge drinks on the regular, and whenever the negative effects of drinking come back to bite him, he always has some excuse. He’ll say he threw up at a restaurant because he “just ate too much,” when really it was because he’d been throwing back doubles all through dinner; or that he fell on his face on the sidewalk because he was “exhausted from working out the previous day,” when really he’s intoxicated.

He means the world to me, and I’m worried about his health. I’d be devastated if he got himself hurt under the influence while I wasn’t available to look after him. (I work full time.) But I’m not sure how to start the discussion when he remains in denial about the fact that all these mishaps he’s having are because of binge drinking. Help?

“I don’t know if I should talk to him about his alcoholism”

I’ve been talking to this guy for a couple of months now. We’re pretty close and both of us have made it clear that we have feelings for each other. It just so happened that in the beginning of us getting to know each other, he had a sort-of/kind-of girlfriend (basically she really liked him and he felt obligated to stay with her and it was super weird.)

They recently ended things and we’ve gotten much closer. While we’re still friends we talk about dating a lot. Well, while at a Basketball tournament, he was caught with a group of our mutual friends drinking in their hotel room and he apparently was the one who somehow got a hold of the beer. He was asked to leave the tournament early and his mom had to drive four hours there and back to get him. (I only know because one of my best friends’ mom told me, not knowing that me and this guy are really close.) Continue reading

“I hate my dad and I never loved him”

I live with my mom and dad . These days I’m feeling a little distanced with my family especially with my dad. My dad drinks daily, he comes home after work, locks himself in his room and starts drinking for no reason. My mom never took a stand and stopped him. She has always cared about what other people will think about our family.

I hate my dad and I never loved him. I’m so frustrated living with them. I feel helpless and somewhere I’m afraid to stop such behavior of my dad because he starts abusing my mother and me when anyone says anything against him. I really don’t know what to do.

“I don’t know what a normal home is”

My mom and I survived 23 years with my dad who was an abusive alcoholic narcissist. He left us about six months ago but that wasn’t the end of our problems. My mother is clinically depressed, has been diagnosed with PTSD and is prone to emotional outbursts. Sometimes she takes out her anger on me.

I am in college, but quite late, because I lost three years due to that arrogant asshole who calls himself my dad. Now we’re doing okay financially and all, but my mom has been through a string of relationships — two with married men — and each has left her more broken and depressed than before. The relationships were not physical but usually through chatting only. I can vouch for that. Continue reading

“My boyfriend got drunk and pissed in our son’s crib”

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years now. We have a one-and-a-half year old and a two week old.

Over the years, after he gets drunk, he sometimes will get up in the middle of the night, walk somewhere, and just piss. Once, he pulled his drawer out and pissed in it. Another time, he just sat at the side of the bed and pissed. It’s as if he’s sleep walking though as I’ve tried waking him up, and he just yells at me that he’s pissing, and I’m rude for trying to stop him. It doesn’t happen too often but it seems to be happening more often now. It uses to be only when he drank hard liquor but now it’s beer as well, it just depends on how much he drinks I guess.

He never remembers doing it in the morning, and always says he will clean it up but I’m always the one to clean up after him and I’m sick of it. Tonight is really it for me. I’m done with it, but I just don’t know what to do about it. Continue reading

“He regrets cheating, but I’m having a hard time forgiving him”

My fiancé and I have been together for nearly four years. He has quite a promiscuous past, but I saw past that and gave him a chance. When our baby was eight weeks old, he went to France for a trip he won through work.

A woman on the trip started flirting heavily with him while they were both drunk on the plane. He refused her advances. On the first night there, he got insanely drunk, and she came on strong. He cheated on the rooftop of the hotel with her.

Continue reading