My fiancé and I have been together for nearly four years. He has quite a promiscuous past, but I saw past that and gave him a chance. When our baby was eight weeks old, he went to France for a trip he won through work.
A woman on the trip started flirting heavily with him while they were both drunk on the plane. He refused her advances. On the first night there, he got insanely drunk, and she came on strong. He cheated on the rooftop of the hotel with her.
For the next four days, he avoided her and felt guilty. He didn’t tell me what happened. On the last night there, she came to the room he shared with another workmate. They were drinking, and she joined them. He got insanely drunk again, and they had sex again in a secluded part of the hotel.
They left for home the next day, and this is when what he had done hit him. He says he had blocked it out. Reality set in the closer he got to home. He has had a drinking problem for over a year now. Since he got home and confessed, he has shown true remorse and gone to counseling. He has given up drinking completely, answered all my questions, cried more than I have ever seen a man cry, and regrets it more than anything he has ever done.
I have seen pictures of her when I stalked her on Facebook. She is unattractive and overweight. So I do believe him when he says it wasn’t attraction. He says he was out of his depth, as it was his first time overseas, and coupled with the drinking problem and her coming on strong, he made a mistake twice. We’ve just had a baby, so I am confused on what to do next. I am really struggling to forgive him — more the second time than anything. Can someone please give me advice?
I’ve never slept around, so I am struggling to understand how he can have sex with someone who means nothing to him, as sex means a lot to me. He is doing all the right things and being totally honest with me about all of it, but I’m still struggling. Please help me. Thanks for reading.
2 thoughts on ““He regrets cheating, but I’m having a hard time forgiving him””
google character disturbance and you will see why he doesn’t regret and why sex means nothing to him. also search psychopath and narcissist. If sex means a lot to you and you are normal, you will never be happy with cluster b assholes. take care of yourself FIRST
Is he seeing someone? He sounds like he is a self-destructer. People sometimes mess things up in their lives a they think they will stuff it up anyway. Get him to see a therapist. Then, think about what YOU need to trust him again. It might be no work trips or him calling and checking in until you trust him again. He has betrayed a trust and needs to go the extra mile to remedy it to see if you can get to a place to forgive him. You may, you may not. I think there are people who like to escape stress and live in a bubble, they sleep with people or get drunk – but it’s all escapism. Find out what you need, what he needs. See where you end up. Good luck