My mom and I survived 23 years with my dad who was an abusive alcoholic narcissist. He left us about six months ago but that wasn’t the end of our problems. My mother is clinically depressed, has been diagnosed with PTSD and is prone to emotional outbursts. Sometimes she takes out her anger on me.
I am in college, but quite late, because I lost three years due to that arrogant asshole who calls himself my dad. Now we’re doing okay financially and all, but my mom has been through a string of relationships — two with married men — and each has left her more broken and depressed than before. The relationships were not physical but usually through chatting only. I can vouch for that.
She recently had a nervous breakdown after the second one “betrayed” her — she won’t tell me what that means. She refuses to go for counselling. She refuses to acknowledge my depression or anger issues. She is now kind of chatting with a gym instructor in town. I’m worried because this is progressing from men she knows to men she doesn’t. She doesn’t — and won’t — listen to me. I’m tired. I’m in constant pain due to shoulder and back pain. I’m feeling exhausted. I don’t want to deal with drama and unhappiness. I’ve forgotten what it was like to have a normal home. I don’t know what a normal home is.