Category: Advice Needed

“How much should I give up for marriage and a shot at an exciting new life?”

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How much should I give up for marriage and a shot at an exciting new plan in life?

OK, here’s the dilemma. I became disabled a few years ago and my husband at the time was not willing to deal with me not bringing home the bacon anymore, so he’s gone. We had only been together for three years, and while I’ve always been independent and mostly single, I thought we had a great relationship. Turned out he really only wanted my great income.

Alone, I’ve been struggling to survive this life out in the country, and many days with my health problems, I just can’t do it. I sit here and shiver when I can’t get up to carry in anymore firewood and I no longer make use of this beautiful land by riding my horse or going hunting. Just daily stuff, like house work, is a lot. I managed a garden, but the workload did land me in the hospital one day. Continue reading →

“Boys tell me they don’t like me because I’m black”

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Hello. 🙂 I need some advice please. There’s this boy in my first period class I think is very cute. The only thing is, he’s Hungarian and doesn’t speak English very well, so he doesn’t talk much. When we make eye contact, I try to smile and he smiles back, and I often try to get his attention in other ways, too, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

I thought maybe it was because I wasn’t his type, so I’ll describe myself to you. I’m a girl, 16 years old, black (Nigerian American) and 5’3″. My hair is currently in long black braids. I would say I’m pretty facially, but I do wear makeup to fill in my brows and cover up dark spots and acne scars (i have a lot of discoloration). I definitely don’t think I’m ugly though. I’m not really slim but I’m also not fat — just your average girl with some concealable belly fat. My skin shade is not very dark but also not light either. I would say I’m about the same shade as Kelly Rowland or slightly lighter. Continue reading →

“My husband is acting inappropriately with his coworker”

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I caught my husband direct messaging a girl coworker several times, but he deleted it all before I could read it. He insisted it was innocent and that he was helping her out, because she was new. I chose to believe him, but now I found out he bought her a big bottle of vodka and put it in her car at work for her birthday.

Now he says the same thing, that he was just trying to make her feel good, because she is going through a hard time. No matter what I say or do, he just keep insisting it was completely innocent. He also keeps getting mad that I don’t believe him and says I have insecurity issues. My mind feels so messed up and confused at this point.

“No matter what I do, I’ll always be the victim that guy reduced me to”

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I want to die. I have been planning my death for two years now. I don’t know what to do. I guess I should explain why first. I was in second-year college that time, enjoying studying and the hardships of exams. Anyway, you get the point.

I was on my way to a math exam. On the way, I have to pass through the mall to buy school stuff when I saw someone I didn’t want to see.

When I was nine or ten, my parents were working on our farm, so I was in charge of watching the house and my little sister. During that time, my parents were having our house renovated. The carpenters were with us in the house most of the time. I don’t want to remember most of the stuff, but I remember one day one of the carpenters decided to play with me and my sister (she was 4/5 years old btw). It was okay at first. He would sit down with us while we play housed and drew.

One day, he decided that we should play in the bedroom for a change and not the living room. I think you can guess what happened by this point. I remember my parents sitting me down and asking me what happened, and I just cried and never really told them. they decided to let the guy go, and I never saw him since … until that day before my stupid exams. Continue reading →

“My employer wants me to hide my tattoos and piercings”

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I’m starting a job soon, and I’m having major regrets for even agreeing to take it. I’m admittedly an artistic person, and it shows. I have a few (dainty) tattoos and multiple ear piercings. Nothing too extreme, right? I’m going into a career with fashion so beauty and style are incredibly important to me. But the job I’m taking (at Cracker Barrel) feels very oppressive to me. The dress code is strict, which is sort-of okay. I don’t really mind wearing a uniform too much. But what really irks me is the fact that I can’t show any piercings or tattoos, wear any more than one piece of jewelry at a time, my makeup is be as minimal as possible, and my hair color has to be natural looking. Makeup, jewelry, and body art are a part of me and being forced to hide them for the sake of making minimum wage feels wrong to me. Continue reading →

“My boyfriend’s family doesn’t accept me”

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I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 and a half years now. As with every couple we have had our ups and downs and major issues but we have managed to work through them every time. The one and only thing that I am uncomfortable with is his family. They are perfectly nice and have never been blatantly rude, but I know that they have never accepted me.

My boyfriend and I come from completely different backgrounds, so I slightly expected this, but I figured it would not still be a problem nearly 4 years in. I am a part of a very large family and they hold a major role in my life. I hoped that one day his family would accept me as my family has done for him, but I just don’t see it happening. I know that I am in a relationship with him and not his family, but I am still worried. I have brought this up to him multiple times and he thinks that I am overreacting. Continue reading →

“I’m in love with my best friend, but he gives me mixed signals”

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I have known this guy M since 2010, and we have been friends since. However, we did move away for a few years and both recently moved back to the same city, so our contact has been off and on for a long time.

Earlier this year in April, we started meeting up with one another, and I have always thought he was a good-looking man, but after seeing him this time, I was very attracted to him in a way I had not been before when we first met back in 2010. Anyways, since April we have started seeing each other regularly — hanging out and going out once or twice a week — and have gotten very close. We completely trust each other, we discovered we have a lot in common and expect the same thing out of relationships.

One day we were hanging out watching a movie, and he started holding my hand, so I was really excited, because I was thinking “holy crap he must have feelings for me.” Since then, we have been cuddling, and he’s started showing me a lot of affection. Sometimes I stay overnight and we cuddle and sleep. We however have never been sexual. He has kissed me on the face and playfully bit me on the neck once. When we cuddle, he touches my hips, so to me, that is more than just friendly, right? Continue reading →

“I started sleeping with men”

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I was a married man for ten years, then divorced. After a lot of doubting myself, I started sleeping with men. I’ve slept with 18 men now in the past two years, and I never thought I’d share this with anyone. I have a lot of concerns and need some insight. Is this normal?

“My boyfriend’s mom called me a slut”

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I really just cannot stand my boyfriend’s mom, Carol, anymore. My boyfriend (Bobby) and his parents live together, so I see her a lot when I come over and if I stay there while he is at work. His mom doesn’t work, so I would spend time with her a lot if it was just us two at home. So, I thought we were close or getting close.

On Halloween, she said the most inappropriate joke. So, she had just gotten off the phone with her youngest daughter, Jan. Jan just told her that Marcia (the oldest daughter) said that Carol did not want to go trick or treating anymore, but Carol had said it was Marcia’s idea. So, after the phone call, Bobby went into the living room where she was and asked her why she even puts up with Marcia. He doesn’t like his sister. Carol says, it’s because she wants to see her grand kids and that she would be like that with us too, but “Piper isn’t having kids out of wedlock. Piper doesn’t do stuff before marriage, except have sex.” She was speaking about me. Continue reading →

“This has been my longest relationship. Should I try to salvage it?”

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Basically, this may just be a case of “grow-some-balls”, but here goes…

I’ve been seeing someone now for ten months, (my longest relationship yet & the first since I was 21, I’m now 28) we don’t live together, we see each other three-to-four times a week, and I spend the majority of my weekends as if I were single; playing football, then going out with my mates, then seeing her Sunday night, then a couple of nights a week at my place, just watching tv etc etc…. Continue reading →