“Boys tell me they don’t like me because I’m black”

Hello. ๐Ÿ™‚ I need some advice please. There’s this boy in my first period class I think is very cute. The only thing is, he’s Hungarian and doesn’t speak English very well, so he doesn’t talk much. When we make eye contact, I try to smile and he smiles back, and I often try to get his attention in other ways, too, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

I thought maybe it was because I wasn’t his type, so I’ll describe myself to you. I’m a girl, 16 years old, black (Nigerian American) and 5’3″. My hair is currently in long black braids. I would say I’m pretty facially, but I do wear makeup to fill in my brows and cover up dark spots and acne scars (i have a lot of discoloration). I definitely don’t think I’m ugly though. I’m not really slim but I’m also not fat — just your average girl with some concealable belly fat. My skin shade is not very dark but also not light either. I would say I’m about the same shade as Kelly Rowland or slightly lighter.

Are my looks the problem? Do Hungarian boys like black girls at all, or do they only care for lighter skin? I’ve been told by boys I liked in the past that they don’t like black girls (often because they think we’re all ghetto), but I’m not like that at all. It’s really messed up my self-esteem and I never try to go for guys I like because I fear they will tell me the same thing. All I want is for him to notice me. What’s your advice? Should I try or should I give up? Also, please tell me the things Hungarian teen boys do like. I can take it no matter how harsh it is. I just don’t want to waste my feelings on another boy who doesn’t appreciate me.

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4 thoughts on ““Boys tell me they don’t like me because I’m black”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Hungarian boys like the same things that every boy likes. He may be too insecure to talk to you. Try talking to him and asking him open ended questions. Don’t focus on your looks. If he doesn’t like you for having black skin color then it’s his loss and not yours.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I’m a young black woman, American-born of Caribbean parentage, and married to a white man. I’m Gabrielle Union’s skin tone.

    This is not about others and what they do or don’t want; this is about you. Figure out what makes you special and uniquely you, and use these to build your self-confidence so that you are coming from a place of emotional strength, rather than insecurity and fear. You must learn to value yourself for all that you are, and you will attract to you those who value you for who you are.

    Never chase guys, or tell them you want them, or ask them out. Never make guys feel they are the prize. Never let guys feel they’re doing you a favor if they like or date you.

    Simply BE. Be as lovely as you can on the outside (exercise, wear flattering clothes, use a little makeup), and in character, be pleasant, interesting, feminine and flirtatious, and guys of all colors will flock to YOU (as it should be).

    Also, keep in mind that boys are financially dependent on their parents and fearful of what peers think. College guys are more independent-minded. Be patient. It will be worth it to wait to date until you’re a little older. In college, you’ll have a better idea of which young men are taking their lives somewhere and worth spending time with. These relationships are more likely to lead somewhere than high school relationships.

  3. Morgenson says:

    Hello from Hungarian boy! ๐Ÿ™‚
    (I’m 33 so I’m an older boy haha :))

    One of your questions was ‘Do Hungarian boys like black girls at all, or do they only care for lighter skin?’
    I know quite a few Hungarians with black girlfriends and wives so the answer is that skin color is not an issue. It’s all about the vibe just like everywhere else. If you both fancy each other than it will happen but don’t ever think about you being less pretty or less attractive because of your skin tone. Black is beautiful as well! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Anonymous says:

    At the risk of sounding harsh, I would say that anyone who thinks that the color of your skin is a determining factor in “liking” you is not someone you need in your life.

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