He changed his mind overnight. I didn’t see it coming. Now I have to see him every day.

There’s a lot of pain. Anyone have any advice?

I’m in a relationship but one of my close guy friends let it slip he had a little crush on me a while back, while talking about his current crush. He had a crush on me a few years ago; I rejected him and I thought that’s what he was talking about.

Come to find out from another friend, it wasn’t a little crush, it’s been for the past year and he’s been not dating, waiting and hoping I’d break up with my boyfriend so he’d get his chance. Choice quote: “I think I won’t date until I’m 30, maybe she’ll be broken up with [BF] then.” His current age: 25. He went to pains to hide this and promised a friend to secrecy because he knew I wouldn’t feel comfortable spending as much time together (hanging out, watching movies, going running.)

So now I’m uncomfortable with continuing a close friendship with him. 1) He’s my neighbor 2) I’ve known him for six years. Do I tell my boyfriend about this? They’re friends and it would bother me if I didn’t mention it to my boyfriend, and he found out I had hidden it.

ETA: Edited to make it less confusing.

This is actually based on an earlier blurb (the what would you sacrifice one). People are fundamentally good (I hope) but will do some awful stuff if it’s for their significant other (back in high school, I once went berserk on a guy who kept touching my girlfriend’s back in a class – I humiliated him in front of everyone and he never forgot it. It was the wrong thing to do and I still regret it). My point is, I didn’t think of anyone but her and me and to a great extent, I still don’t. She (now my wife) is my first priority over other people. And I guess it’s love that makes it so. So there you have it? Love makes us worse people? What do you think?

Everyone’s heard that the third date is when you “get down to business”, and I think it’s safe to say that after a few dates with someone, we all get a little more anxious to get him or her alone. And every time I see a bar review on Yelp, someone has to add something not just about what kind of a date to bring there, but what number—”This is the perfect place for a second date, not too intimate, not too casual” or “The dim lighting and sexy drinks make this place perfect for sealing the deal!”

So, how long do you wait when you’re dating someone before you actually do get them alone? What do you think is a good rule of thumb? I’m expecting a lot of “do whatever you feel comfortable with” answers, but really, how long does it take you, personally, before you get naked with someone?

Hello everyone! New here, but it seems like a very useful and intelligent place. I’ve had these thoughts running through my head, but as you see from the title, I can’t really turn to my family and friends for some sane advice. It might seem rather silly to you all.
I’m in my first serious relationship with an awesome guy. He’s smart, gets my off humor, sweet, etc. He’s a couple years older than me, (we’re both in college) and I’ve introduced him to my friends and family. Now. This is where it gets odd for me. They all say, “Oh, he seems really nice and smart! He’s funny too!” But then, they say, “But you could do much better as far as looks go.”

Whuh.

I was baffled. I didn’t know what to say but, “Well, I think he’s cute.” I mean, he’s no Brad Pitt, he’s tall, skinny, and nerdy, but I think he is the most adorable guy on the planet. His style isn’t suave, but I’ve bought him a couple shirts, and he’s sort of progressing to investing in his clothes now that he’s going to grad school in a few months. But, I really don’t care about his dress, since he doesn’t dress like a slob or Richard Simmons. And, (if this is important) I mean, I’m quite sexually attracted. I find that his personality really adds to his attractiveness for me.
But when my family and friends say that, it really hurts. They’ve told me a few times, that “You could do SOOO much better with better looking guy.” Like it’s the biggest thing that matters! And now I don’t really bring him around them as much because I know what they’re thinking. And Lord forbid I hope they never say anything. I haven’t told him what the said, of course, I wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings.
One thing, a non-friend said, was “A ugly boyfriend/girlfriend means unconfidence.” This bothered me. I mean, I know I have a pretty low self esteem, but I’m working on it! I know I’m a pretty girl in my own right.
So my question is, what exactly do I do in this situation? I don’t want to drop my friends and family, of course, but what do I say to them? Isn’t beauty in the eyes of the beholder? Has anyone ever told you that your boyfriend/girlfriend wasn’t that cute or attractive and did that sway your opinion of dating them? I like my boyfriend. I just wish people saw how attractive and cute he was like I do.

One of my close friends, F, has been giving off some signals that she might want me (and maybe my boyfriend) to join in on sex with her and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend has flirted with me a good deal in front of her, which I always just attributed to his awkward Engineering personality, but I’m starting to question that assessment. Yesterday she told me about how much she loves threesomes, especially with her friends, and how she wants to have more of them. She asked me about threesomes – if I’d done it, if I wanted to, what combinations, and if I’d have one with a friend. Another friend B was there, and she later told me that she thinks F and her bf are trying to get me in bed. Recently, F has also asked me very specific things about my preference for penises, and she’s drunkenly taken my phone to try to find nude pictures of my boyfriend, or sex pictures of the two of us together. I am not interested in having sex with anyone but my boyfriend, so now I’m wondering how I should handle this. She hasn’t specifically asked me to join them, so I don’t want to jump to a conclusion and ruin our friendship. At the same time, I don’t want to be in this awkward situation with a friend. Any thoughts?

It has been about 15 years since President Clinton left his legacy of “oral sex is not sex” AND “it depends what your definition of ‘is’ is”. By those standards, the question “What is sex to you?” has at least 2 grossly undefined terms. A recent episode of “Californication” got me to thinking about this again.
So, if you are in a committed relationship with someone and they come home from work particularly giddy and you learn that they got a wee bit of the felatio or the c-lingus from an old acquaintance, how do you handle that? Do you snuggle up to them and say, “That’s okay honey… as long as you didn’t have sex with them. I love you so much for staying faithful to me!”, or do you have a frank discussion while staring down the sights of a .45 caliber? Just wondering in which direction we’ve been evolving.

I know there is no single correct answer for this one, so what I’m asking for is everyone’s personal opinion.

For YOU how serious does a relationship have to be before you consider moving in with someone? I’ve seen people tackle this situation in various ways from moving in after they were married to moving in after dating for a few months.

That said? Is time really that much of a factor, or is it more about the dedication and commitment to the relationship? Do you feel the need to see yourself with this person for the rest of your life beforehand, or is the relationship being a very important aspect of your life at the present enough?

Sorry if I’m rambling, but there’s a lot of factors that come into play here, and possibly an infinite number of ways this question could be answered, so… discuss away?

I’m wondering how often you should hear from a person you just started dating. I got out of a relationship where I heard from that person all the time, every day, but now I just hear from the new guy every few days and it can take him hours to answer texts.

My boyfriend of about six months and I just broke up – it’s not the worst breakup in the world, but I think there are some hurt feelings on both sides. We both would like to be friends eventually, but I asked for at least a month of not talking or hanging out so we can move past the romantic stuff. We live in a really small town, so the chances of us running into each other before that month is up are really high, and I have two concerns: how do I handle the awkwardness (because I KNOW it will be awkward) and how do I avoid slipping back into old patterns? If I’m too nice, then he’ll think it’s ok to be friends now, which will be before I’m ready, and if I run away or avoid him or am real short with him, I’m worried he’ll think I don’t want to be friends at all, which isn’t the case.

The long and short of it is, how do I ensure I get the time and space I need?