I need advice.Sorry for the long post, I would really appreciate it if you read it. I don’t know how to get out of this situation? I’m writing this post because basically I’m lost. I don’t know what to do?
I invited my boss’s sister to join my all female group with a specific focus. My boss is always complaining that her sister is socially awkward, and lost in life, so I decided to invite her to join my group. I have worked there for the past two years but my boss doesn’t like me. She seems very uninterested and unimpressed with me. I should also admit I’m scared of her. She basically ignores me in the office and our offices face each other.
Twice a week, after work, I facilitate this all female group with a specific focus. My boss’s sister started coming to the group two months ago. She is a 53 years old, short like 5ft 2, skinny, masculine, freckled face, creepy green eyes, thin lips, red haired woman . I am a 39 year old 5ft10, heterosexual, curvy hourglass shaped, attractive brunette.I like dressing well, and looking presentable. I don’t dress slutty at all. My boobs are 32 f bra size though and I do have a big butt. My hourglass shape is unique and I am tall, and I appreciate that. If you are curvy, tall and busty, many clothes tend to look sexier on you than on a thin person. So things that fit properly that are relatively conservative, can be suddenly too revealing and sexy when you put it on. This happens to me a lot.
I wear almost always, my satin and silk blouses fully buttoned to the top combined with a satin skirt or satin pants. I prefer wearing satin pants and a little shorter satin skirts, always above knees, sometimes even quite much, but not any miniskirts. I am always in high heels and full make up on. I am always in tight fitting satin and silk clothes. I am a stylish person. I usually stay away from anything too revealing.I am describing myself because I want you to know the complexity of the situation.
This woman, my boss’s sister, started touching me on her first day at the group. She said that she likes to caress satin fabric, and that silk and satin is so smooth to the touch when rubbing. She said that she just can’t resist touching and stroking satin fabric. She started rubbing my back, touching my hair, wrapping her hands around my waist, tight from behind and hugging me (for no reason) while I am busy at various tasks. At one point she asked if she could touch my breasts. I was like, No! Then I said, alright. Then I get a hand extended so I’m like okay, here it goes… and she was not shy about just full palm feeling all around, and getting a real grab!
I think she was a little shy to ask and was surprised when I agreed. LOL! It was no big deal for me. She commented on how soft they feel. Since then this woman, who I am not close with, is OBSESSED with my boobs, so much, that every time she sees me.. she just cups and squeezes them over.. and over.. and over. It’s actually REALLY annoying. For the past two months she has touched my boobs quite a lot. Also she is constantly patting and rubbing my ass. She also always places her hand on my ass when I stand beside her.
How can I discourage this woman from touching me/groping me/hugging me/getting in my personal space in a way that makes me uncomfortable without offending her? I know that many women have to deal with worse, and I should just “man up”, but I am an extremely non-confrontational person, and I usually prefer to endure something uncomfortable than draw attention or displease the other person. Any time I’m even within arm’s reach of her, I feel her caressing me.
As far as having intimacy with a woman? That’s just something that I haven’t done and will probably not do so. I’m a straight woman, never got turned on by a woman. Usually when this short, skinny, ugly, ginger geek woman who shouldn’t be touching me tries to…I just kinda… let her do the touching, rubbing and hugging, but I basically just sit/stand pretty stiffly.
She isn’t a horrible woman, she is really very pleasant, but something about her and her need to hug or touch me makes me very uncomfortable. I decided to try tolerating it, since this woman is my boss’s sister. It is all my fault. I am physically stronger than her, I am 5ft10, well built, well endowed and curvy. She is like 5ft2 and skinny. I am always in high heels and she is always in flat shoes. Standing next to me she looks like a midget. Now I don’t want her to feel bad – but I want this behaviour to stop. What can I say to her, or what can I do so this’ll stop? I really don’t want to offend her because of my boss.My boss is very protective of her sister. If I report her sister to the police she is going to fire me.
I really need this job. I am divorced since November 2013. I have an 11 year old daughter. I was married for 8 years. I really need this salary. I have worked here since December 2015. I don’t know what to do anymore? I don’t know how to handle the situation.
3 thoughts on ““My bosses sister touches me inappropriately””
Tell her to stop. Tell her you feel this is unprofessional. Look. This is sexual harassment. If it doesn’t stop talk to your hr department and boss. Start keeping a journal of all the times she touched you as well. You need proof in case you need to sue.
I think that she’s been given your approval by giving her permission to grab your breasts.
Whoops@ Wasn’t finished… So, now you’re going to have to make it clear that you don’t swing that way, but you like her to still be your friend. No job is worth dealing with sexual harassment.