“He ignores me and spends more time with his friends”

I need some advice… I don’t know what to do anymore…

My boyfriend always spends more time with his best friend than with me. When we have plans to go somewhere together, he always picks his friend up before me, to spend more time together. I usually have to wait longer than the time he said he would be there.

Last week really did it for me… he invited me to a block party and then said he wasn’t going and ended up going with his friends anyway. He completely ignored me all afternoon and I started to get worried because it isn’t like him to do that, so I reached out to his friend to see if he had heard from him, since I knew he hasn’t been feeling well the day before. His friend saw my message and ignored it. I confronted my boyfriend about it and he said he was sorry, and wasn’t in the right state of mind, and he knew I asked his friend and he saw my messages but just ignored them because he was in a conversation with someone, and didn’t want to be rude by texting me.

I have recently asked him to go to a family event with me, and he refused, saying he doesn’t like to go and he isn’t going to put himself in an uncomfortable situation. He always says this when I ask him to go or something else comes up. I let him know that I am put in uncomfortable situations when he prefers his friend over me, and he said it is just my own insecurities. How do I explain to him that his choices with his friend are putting a strain on our relationship without him saying I put myself in that situation because I am insecure?

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3 thoughts on ““He ignores me and spends more time with his friends”

  1. Susana says:

    Hi!
    If he’s not interested in being with you at least in the same measure as he is into spending time with his friends then he’s simply not good enough for you.
    Yes, you can date someone and still spend time with your friends but he doesn’t sound like he’s making any effort to spend time with you.
    Not wanting to go with you to family events just means he’s not interested in meeting and spending time with your family, for me it sounds like a red flag, like he doesn’t want to get too close so he can leave whenever.
    I’ve been there, done that, and if I had known I would have dumped them earlier, took me some time to figure it out but I finally did: if you’re not important enough for even a text message saying he’s fine then he’s not worth the trouble.
    You take good care of yourself and be strong!

  2. Anonymous says:

    He’s sending signals that he would rather hang out with his friends than with you. He doesn’t want to spend time with you, and instead of doing the honorable thing and breaking up, he is being a huge jerk about it and ignoring you. You don’t deserve that. Be wise and dump him.

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