“He still spends time with his ex”

Recently I’ve been talking to this boy. We’ve known each other since the beginning of the year when we met in our class. At the time he had a girlfriend, and we were pretty good friends. Fast forward a few months and him and his girlfriend break up after she cheated on him. Him and I started talking not long after (first just as friends, then it developed as more) and I told him I didn’t want him to feel rushed into anything and that we could take our time with a relationship.

The problem is, he still spends time with his ex. His family is really good friends with her, so they often see each other and hang out, and although he assured me nothings going to happen, it doesn’t sit well with me. They dated for almost three years, and it’s not easy to move on from someone like that. I told him them being friends didn’t bother me, because I didn’t want to come across as the jealous girl who always needs his attention, but in all honesty them being close does bother me. Am I crazy for being jealous? What should I tell him?

 

“My ex is toxic but I want to stay friends”

I have an ex girlfriend who is a very toxic person sometimes. None of my friends like her anymore, even though they did at the start, and not because of anything I’ve said to them (which was little) but because of how they have seen her behave. None of them tried to break us up and they didn’t even tell me until after I had made the choice to do so. Breaking up and moving to a new city two hours away (where my friends are) has not been the issue for me.

It’s needed and allows me to continue to progress and just focus on myself for a while. I just recently discovered the depth of her deception and lies and it of course hurt, now I’ve come to terms with it and can’t help but wonder if I’m still able keep a friendship now that I know she can’t be trusted? I feel like I can better protect myself emotionally, we had some really good moments too and I guess that’s what makes it confusing.

My struggle is with the idea of completely cutting off contact. I don’t know if I’m a fool to hold on to the hope she will one day mature and change her ways over the next few years (she’s still young) or if I should just walk away now and never look back. I hate removing people that I care about from my life and I never fully stopped talking to my last ex and eventually she did mature to a level I can be friends with her so I’m hoping for the same here. Should I still keep a bit of contact and give her the chance to grow on her own and if she does we can build a friendship? Or am I just asking for continued drama in my life?

“Do I make a move on him?”

I’ve been friends with a guy for a little over two years now. I had a crush on him when we first met, but he was in a long-term/long-distance relationship at that point, so I just stuck with friendship. About a year later, they broke up, but I had just started dating someone (we didn’t last long).

About a month later, he started dating someone else, and they’ve been together up until a few months ago. When we first met, he was always very physically affectionate, with hugs and back rubs and such. Once he started dating his most recent girlfriend, however, we didn’t see each other nearly as much, partially because we didn’t have any classes together and partially because he was spending time with his girlfriend.

Now that he’s single, we’ve been spending a lot of time together and he’s become really physically affectionate again. We hang out in his apartment, eating food and watching movies. I’ve slept over a few times, and we end up cuddling in his bed (just sleeping). I really like him, but I’m not exactly sure what to do. I’m not the most confident person in the world and I can also be kind of oblivious. Mainly, I’m afraid to make a move and possibly ruin a friendship.

“Is my friendship with a younger guy inappropriate?”

I’ve been struggling with this one a while now and even though it’s not about a romantic relationship, I hope you can help. I am a 26 year old female in a 5+ year serious relationship. I am a part-time educator and I play a lot of online multiplayer games. I have recently become friends with someone I play online with a lot, and we now chat really casually via Facebook messenger (but are not Facebook friends).

He seems like a good kid with a good head on his shoulders and at this point I am invested is his life and success just as you would be with any dear friend. However, he is ten years my junior. My significant other is fine with our friendship, as is the friend in question and as am I. But I did find out recently that his parents do not know about our friendship, and I think this is due to the fact that I am so much older than he is and he feels they would not be comfortable with it. Continue reading

“I’m upset with myself for being jealous of a friend”

So I have this friend who I went to school with, and now we’re at University together. We do different subjects and live separately so I don’t see her all that often at the moment – we’re both adjusting to the new lifestyle and such.

As background, the way that we got to know each other at school was partly through school plays. She would often be cast as a leading part and I really love drama but don’t tend to get big parts. Since we’ve arrived at University, though, that difference has grown so that now she’s been in two plays already in our first term and has another two and a student film lined up for after the Christmas holidays, and I have auditioned for a series of things, none of which I’ve got. Cry. Continue reading

“Our friends think we’re perfect together, but I don’t know how she feels about me”

Hi! I’m not going to tell you my age, but I’m fairly young. Recently, one of my friends introduced me to this girl. She’s super-nice and funny, and my friends seem to think we’re basically the exact same person.

We talk almost every day, by text in the morning and Skype at night. And we sometimes go out and do things, but it’s never gone that far. Some people think we should date, and one person even said she is into me.

What are your thoughts on the matter? I’d appreciate some advice.

Hooked up with a guy in my class…

We had a very simple friendship, which I liked.. but we hooked up and now things are confusing. I know that neither of us want a relationship (at least I don’t think he does). He told me that things wouldn’t be awkward, and things would just go back to normal, but I think I may have screwed that up because the first time I saw him since we hooked up, I curved him so bad and I think he has the idea that I didn’t enjoy what we did.. but really, I was just too embarrassed to face him. What do you guys think? and how should I fix this? Also, we don’t really have that deep talk type of relationship so I think it’d be hard to just straight up talk to him..